Losing your way is like losing track of time!
Not realizing all the hours that fly by is the same as walking down an unending path
We sometimes tend to take our paths for granted!
We aimlessly walk around
We see new corridors of life
Some that shouldn't necessarily encounter us!
We continue walking though
The clock ticks and we keep crossing
Each corridor holds a meaningful lesson
We learn it and move on to the next one
The lesson of yesterday's corridor, eases the walk on tomorrow's one
As we walk, we plan
As we plan, we apply
As we apply, we admire
And the cycle continues till we shut down

I'll sleep when I'm dead
I'll get the eternal rest I need
I'll get the eternal rest I've been longing for
I'll sleep when I'm dead.

I'll be able to shut down the world for good
I'll be able to silence my past
I'll dream of my future with god
I'll sleep when I'm dead.

I won't wake up again
I won't worry about a soul but mine
I won't walk again
I won't talk again
I'll be dead!

I'm tired of feeling like I'm chasing you!
I look for you but you're barely ever there!
I call on you but you're surrounded with noise!
I finally find you but it's for a few seconds then you're gone again!
It's tiring and embarrassing!
It's heavy keeping it in!
But,
I don't want to lose you and lose myself chasing you
I'd rather admire you from afar than say a word
I fear losing you more than losing me
I lost me a few times,
But I found my way back!
I think I am afraid of chasing you away...
You'd fear my obsession and escape!
Far, far away...

June 12th
It’s been a month or so since my hiding
I’ve been talking to god a lot lately
Some are conversations asking for forgiveness
Asking whether this was all part of his plan
Asking if there’s ever a way I’ll be happy again
After all “it’s all in god’s hands!”
Clock is ticking and my patience is running
Trying to get answers
I think it should slow down
It might be running in the wrong direction

I’m stuck...

But I won’t give up
This is a fight
For my soul’s growth
Can’t abandon that!
I also can’t abandon it because it belongs to my parents
I can’t sell my soul to the devil
I can’t let them down by committing sins
I can’t let their heads face down in front of others  
I can’t!
It’s tormenting!

But...
Doesn’t that mean I have a soul?
It tormenting me?

Sorry god...
Let’s rewind
You do work in mysterious ways...
Which means, you can take something away that we love instead of giving more.
“Sometimes the Blessings are not in what he gives, but what he takes away.”

I need to think and we’ll talk again god
Thank you!

Gabila!
Tell me where you from
‎انتي من وين؟
I’ll tell you انا من وين
I’m from a Gabila joining tribes
Yours and mine!
Gabila!
You heard of Sudan?
That’s our tribe!
That’s our Gabila!
That...is our home.

Bahri Omdurman
Kosti or Sennar
‎سودان جمعتنا as one
As a Gabila we stand!
But Gabila, how come I never heard of you?
‎انتي رباطابية ولا زغاوية؟
‎انتي هدندوية ولا من الدينكا؟
Where do you come from?

Does it matter though? Because,
Either way, I think you’re a beauty!
Either way, I admire your presence!
Either way...you look like a kandaka.
Are you a kandaka?
You are a kandaka!
I see a kandaka!
‎كنداكة سودانية
‎كنداكة شجاعة
‎كنداكة قبائلي
I’m glad I met you Gabila!


Writing by
Aseel Mohamed& Ahmed Fares