hands like sails in the wind
music stuck to our palms
as it poured through the current

air, a gentle caress
on our lungs
it never
ever
stung

lullabies at two in the afternoon
and showers at four in the morning

no one ever asked
"how are you feeling?"
with a distance cold
enough to shake your
bones, even through
the telephone

well
*i'm feeling better
i'm just a little
over-tired

I dream of freedom
not for me, but for you,
I dream of freedom,
I hope you dream for it too
I dream of freedom of your stomach
that the hand clenched around your flesh
will loosen it's grip and cease to exist
I hope that your purple knuckles will turn pink
and in place of the bruises will sprout
one daisy for every time your
fingers slithered down your throat to agitate
the demons inside you
I dream of freedom of your feelings
that your love will not be restricted after stretching to your friends or
your boyfriend but that it will
stretch a little more so that it wraps around your fingers
and pulses through your veins
setting your heart on fire
and you can finally can feel how it feels to be cloaked in the warmth
of it
I dream of freedom of your heartbeat
that it will learn to slow down
that it wont skip a beat at the mention of the word "fat"
or the word "skinny" or anything along those lines because the only
movement your heart should make towards those words
it a full, long, loud beat of
pride because you are thin
were thin even before this
nightmare started
I dream in you believing
In what you say and what you do
I hope you believe that you can be saved and
I hear you when you say "I look so cute right now"
and I hope
god I hope that you
mean it.

-m.m