You held me in the rain, with tears coming down my face, and told me that your feelings for me hadn’t changed. I knew we wouldn’t be together, but somehow that impacted me greatly, and gave me some warmth in the cold.
Then weeks later you snap at me for asking if you can hang out. You yell at me demanding that I chill and calm down. So I took a step back, and I gulped a deep breath, and I said goodbye to everything, that I had once considered our friendship.
-ALC December 24, 2018

I want a song that makes my soul come screaming out my mouth.
-ALC February 1, 2017

Oh there’s a storm-warning happening outside my door,
And I don’t know if it’s figurative or more.
Cause there pulling me down,
They wont let me see.
So I struggle and fight, till they leave me be.

My dreams are clouding up my head,
Pulling in the breeze.
They keep whispering sweet secrets that I may never see.
And they won’t let me go
The wont let me be free
And the storm-warning keeps tugging at me.

Oh there’s a storm-warning happening outside my door
And every one is yelling that I should wait some more.
But I’m running toward the entrance
I feel close to my escape,
And as I pull the handle back
Cold wind blasts my face.

This storm is blowing outside my door
And I run into the fray begging it for more.
I feel the stinging drops tare at my skin,
And I feel the pounding of the wind,
Commencing me to begin.

The storm blows me through its grasp,
Telling me its secrets,
As it beats me slash by slash.
And though I stumble and fall,
I don’t feel afraid,
No, not at all.
For this storm can hold me in its grasp,
But I know that it cannot last.
And the winds will fade
The storm will end
And suddenly,
My life will begin.
-ALC February 22, 2017

Zip your lips
Don’t utter a word
Don’t let all of your thoughts be heard,
Because if you do,
You know what they’ll say,
That you’re just being mean,
And to go away.

Zip your lips
Don’t say a thing
Don’t let the thoughts
Flow from your brain,
Because they’ll tell you your wrong
And that you’re simply not right
That you should just walk away instead of starting a fight.

Zip your lips
And stare off like a doll
Because you weren’t made to think at all.
You weren’t meant to have such a wonderful gift
To be able to open your mouth and say what you wish.

Zip your lips
Or better,
Just walk away,
Because you're not allowed to say
What you want anyway.

You know the night where you made me come outside,
Just so we could drive around for hours.
I still consider that one of the best night I have had in along time.
-ALC December 19, 2016

It’s amazing, how little it took for me to get over you.
It’s amazing, how I can go day-by-day without thinking of you.
So what stops me now,
From walking through that door,
That separates us both?

It’s Amazing that I can go day-by-day without thinking of you,
But right now I can’t even bear the possibility of seeing you.
So I’ll stand right here,
And stare at the door,
Wondering where we go from here.

It’s amazing how little it took for me to get over you.
But now I’m standing here
And I don’t even want to see you.

It’s amazing how little it took for me to get over you
And now I can’t even look at you.
-ALC February 15, 2019

Does it hurt when you see my name?
Or think that you see me in the crowd?
Does it hurt when I try to talk to you,
Just to see how you’re doing now?
Do you think I feel no pain?
For the loss you’re feeling now?
Do you think I feel unburdened?
That I’m not lost like you somehow?
I’m sorry I feel free
I’m sorry I’m not as sad,
I’m sorry that it’s been 4 months and I still miss you so bad.
- ALC [November 21, 2016]

I can’t breath,
Air stuck in my throat,
Caught as I stare wide eyed.

I hear the click, click.
I hear my heart pounding.
I know what is going to happen.

My muscles are bunching,
Ready to spring forward
Ready to let out a screech

A foot steps in the door,
And I smell your scent,
Whooshing in with the cold air
That slips in through the cracks.

My eyes grow wider in circumference,
My lips are parted,
My muscles are taught,
My fists are clenched,
And as you finally enter into our house
And look at me.

I spring with a screeched,
Wrapping you in a tight embrace,
Kissing your face repetitively.
We fall to the ground laughing
Curled into each other.
-ALC January 18, 2019

You fight with your words
And You fight with your fists
You fight just to see if You can make others ******,
But You wouldn’t fight for me.

If I called You out
On all the words that You spout,
On all the ******* that You give
And the narcissistic way that You live,
You would be livid with me.

You would shut down on me,
Give up on me,
And slowly
You would try to forget about me,
But You would never fight for me.

If I told You rashly
How brashly You were reacting
How petulant You were acting
You would loose faith in me,
And be dissuaded from me.
You would begin to hate me.

You act like You love me
And say such sweet words of nothing,
You coo to me in the morning
With happy eyes brightly shinning,
And You swear that You care
But if I were to slightly ruffle your hair,
You would retreat to God knows where.
You wouldn’t fight for me.

You wouldn’t apologize,
You wouldn’t stand by my side
Asking for it to all reside.
You wouldn’t fight for me.
-ALC December 25, 2017

I am used to knowing what’s going on inside your head, but now I am not even sure if you still feel for me like you once did, and I know that our seeing each other will be fewer and farther between. So I cry, not because I feel like this is a break up, but because my heart has broken in the death of a friendship that I had begun to rely on so much for everything. I cry because I know I have lost such a dear friend.

Faint lines leading down faint paths
Whisperings of lives come and past.
Difficult problems yet to be solved
And turbulent waters yet to be sailed.

Faint images come and they go
Each growing cloudy with the passing days.
Whispering of lives come and past.
Difficult problems needing to be solved,
Of turbulent waters set sail on before.

Faint whispers telling of faint pasts.
Traveling through foggy grounds,
And choppy waters.

Body heavy and tears run dry.
Mind gone quiet and tongue hung parched.
Legs collapsed and arms lay numb.
Intangible Conscious and Allusive Soul.

Succumb to the collapse.
-ALC 1/29/2023

Did our friendship die in England,
Or did it die when I came home?
Cause the only thing replaying in my mind
is how you used to say,
“you can tell me anything” and
“I’ll always be your friend”.
That all seems a lie now…
and we promised each other we wouldn’t lie to each other…

I am not sure what to do now.
If I should stand still as you walk away.
Or if I should dance into motion once again to try and get you to stay.
I knew you wouldn’t fight for me.
I always knew that it would be a deadly end.
I just didn’t know it would be so silent,
Or so permanent.

You are made of fire and ice,
You are made of so much pain
And I wonder if our finale
Will leave you halting, all the same.
-ALC January 4, 2019

I want someone who is self-confident and doesn’t need me to complete them.
I want someone to go adventuring with, but also someone who is willing to just be alone.
I want someone mature and willing to take risks and try new things with me.
I am of course not looking for this person in the near future, but its kind of a nice idea to know what I am looking for.
I know there will be lots of guys along the way that will pull at my heart strings, but all in all, I want someone to adventure and take risks with.
To help me live each day as if it is my last, and to help me remember to look for the simple beauty in life.

You were the madding chaos in my mind
The thought I kept thinking all the time
I begged for a piece to fall free
And those thought to drift away from me.

You persisted for years
As a thought on my mind
Even without a hello
Or an endearing goodbye.

After all the thoughts,
One wish came true.
Finally I would see you.
And with that hello
And a smiling goodbye,
I could send all those thoughts out
Into a clearing sky.
-ALC
11/30/18

She bloomed like a flower. Not a rose, or a hydrangea, or anything so beautiful or delicate as that. She bloomed like the Joshua trees, like the corpse flowers. Like everything that lays dormant, waiting to show the world exactly how much they were underestimated.
-ALC May 10, 2023

Are you kidding me?
Your joking right?
You think that that was all a big lie?
You think I took your emotions as a game
That it was just a 3-year fling.
How funny,
…Oh honey,
You have over thought it all again,
Well there you go
Down the rabbit whole,
Made of your own design.
-ALC January 14, 2017

When you look at me, do you see the vortex of pain behind my eyes, or do you just see my pretty disguise.
-ALC February 1, 2017

I didn’t cry for our loss
I didn’t mourn it at all,
And it just goes to show
That we wouldn’t have lasted long at all.
Because as I have said,
My heart isn’t here
My chest is hallow,
And my thoughts unclear.
Because the man I love
Doesn’t see me at all;
Yet you love me so reverently
And you were quick to let us fall.

I didn’t cry for our loss
I didn’t shed a tear,
Yet it still feels strange
That you are no longer near.
-ALC December 24, 2018

I am an amputated bird
with wings that no longer soar,
and I sit in my perch wondering where to go.
It seems like a struggle to hop around
when I once used to glide.

I am an de-clawed lionness
With fangs that have become dull
and I stare at the planes around me
wondering where all my passion has gone.

I am a mute wolf
glaring at over the valleys
to quite to call my pack back
to scared to hear the silent echo.

One box down with another to go
Slowly they pile in rows and rows.
I start to think,
In this brain numbing task,
Of all my life that has come to pass.

I think of faces,
Of all shapes and size.
I think of the ones that have made me laugh and cry.

How life does change
And we must go with the flow,
Because now the boxes are stacked high in multiple rows
And not a single speck is left to show
Of the life that I once had here,
Except for the marks on the walls,
And the memories I will hold dear.
-ALC 06/11/2017