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Adam Kinsley Jun 2020
My pride is a crutch
I do not dream much
Archaic notions of solace surround me
I'll soon lose it all--
You'll see

What fevered dreams had befallen me?
A cordial endeavor to give up the ghost
Only to search for it in ever corner of my mind
I've tried for a long time, since my birth:
To sabotage my time on this Earth

A husk of a dreamer, I saw in the mirror
His downfall is much clearer
There is solemn beauty on the bottom floor
These two hands have done much to abhor
I wish that I could say more...
Adam Kinsley Jun 2020
Her heart is lost to my weary hands
Undiscovered solace remains as such
She is the Queen of my unattainable dreams
The vexing silence precedes me

Our hearts sleep in separate rooms
Such blissful schemes are stranger than fiction
My descent into madness is afoot
I hung my heartstrings from the ceiling

My intention missed the bus again
I abandoned my heart's reconstruction
And, confined in the menagerie of her solace:
I will be devoured by the bowls set for Babylon

The future has written itself
I was written off in the final chapter
But, I still dream, in turn:
Of holding Her heart in my weary hands...
Adam Kinsley May 2020
My ego constructs simple lies
Desensitized
I'm bounded by such subtle dreams
Dissension comes to comfort me

It's all how it seems:
I'll see you in my dreams
There's nothing left to lose
I saw Lucifer fall, like lightening

This brain is foolhardy
Welcome to my pity-party
Regret rears its reckless head
I trade my conscience for fevered dreams

I give up with all my might
'The words I write are cheap and trite'
My feeble will was calm and collected
But soon: I gave up the ghost

This is not what I imagined
I still hear her tepid cries
Trapped within her yayo skin
Still: my conscience cuts me down to size...
Adam Kinsley Apr 2020
What fruitless inaction:
What closely-knit schemes
My will has lost traction
It's just like it seems

Redemption eludes me
I trade it for fear
This lust still precludes me
It's all I can hear

Dissension is growing
I gave up the ghost
There's sorrow in knowing:
I missed Her the most

The Devil deceives me
But, I had to choose
Though no one believes me:
We've souls left to lose

I took up pretending
To live like a fool
What time am I spending:
So callous and cruel?

What vexing contention:
Her heart in my hand
I shudder to mention:
Our dreams weren't manned...
Adam Kinsley Apr 2020
I vaguely remember
My heart in Her hand
Those days, spent in silence
My head in the sand

The time swiftly passed us
Each year, we loosed hope
When push comes to shoving
It's harder to cope

With cruel recollection
We hid each mistake
Our minds, self-deceptive
We give less than take

With passion, unconquered
We gave up the ghost
Amidst my intention:
I miss Her the most

We gave up our solace
To search for cruel schemes
If only we'd known this
Outside of our dreams...
Adam Kinsley Apr 2020
I see the end of my feeble might
Watching Rome burn, with Nero Caesar at my side (1)
My brothers have gone mad--
The unsurpassed past stalks me like my shadow

Behind closed doors, I hear deception lurk
Redemption turns into defection from my conscience
My misdeeds swim with me in a vibrant sea of self-loathing
I hear the Visigoths clamor outside of my brain's walls (2)

My paranoia precedes my ambition
I sent spies to **** my loyal friend, Parmenion (3)
No crisis is averted with my self control
I expose my haughty pride to choler and strife

My senses burn through their synapses
Soon, all will be lost--
Integrity took an extended vacation
I blackmailed Her with all that will vex...
NOTES
(1) Nero Caesar was the last in the famous (and, infamous) first line of Roman emperors. Halfway through his reign, a great fire destroyed roughly 1/3 of Rome; after-which, Nero started to show signs of insanity.

(2) In 410 AD (ACE), the Visigoths were the first foreign invader to enter and sack Rome since the Gauls did so exactly 800 years earlier

(3) Parmenion was the second-in-command to Alexander the Great. He was trustworthy, and was also a friend to Alexander's father, Phillip II. When much of Alexander's unhappy army started to mutiny, Alexander killed several of his army's leaders and their fellow conspirators; but then, in paranoia, sent assassins to **** his second-in-command, Parmenion, without any word to or from him...even though it was never proven that Parmenion had any knowledge of the plot.
Adam Kinsley Mar 2020
You femme fatale
I lost morale
We give and take:
It's our mistake

We're cruel and coarse
There's no remorse
We bent the rules
Our hearts are fools

There's no control
I sold my soul
We cheat and lie
And, live to die

We're tried and true
With fear, anew
Devoid of sense:
We're on the fence

Benign intent:
Our hearts are spent
With fear and joy:
Our lust is coy

This Love pretends
So soon, it ends
To no avail:
We're doomed to fail...
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