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Amy Childers Jan 2019
Shattered hearts
Bruised souls
Bleeding knuckles
My mind is a battlefield
And soldiers are yelling
¨ Open fire!!¨

You deserve better
You never need to change
You are who you are
You are beautiful
Just the way you are
You are not the one to blame.

I can not control my feelings right now
I want to scream
I want to be the judge
I want to be the jury
I want to be the guard to his cell
I want to be the last face he sees before he goes to hell.

I can not control my feelings right now
So he better watch out cause here I come.
122 · Feb 2019
Humpty Dumpty
Amy Childers Feb 2019
Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall,
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.
Or at least that is what people say.

Poor Humpty Dumpty had no friends
So his life never fully began.
He jumped off that wall and was never seen again.
#childhood
115 · Feb 2019
Oblivion
Amy Childers Feb 2019
Darkness is my muse...
The nothing has a nice taste...
It stares coldly at something...
I can picture everything in its shadowed frame.

I fell into it...
That blank face...
You are my oblivion...
I love the ring to that name!
114 · Mar 2019
Standing Up
Amy Childers Mar 2019
Listen.
I am going to make this loud and clear.
I will talk to her okay,
But I will not let people tell me what to do
And tell me what to do with my feelings
Because guess what!!
MY FEELINGS MAKE ME WHO I AM!!!
If you can not understand that
Then I guess you never respected me in the first place.
This is what happens when you Stand Up for something that you believe in; a harsh text with my feelings poured inside.
114 · Feb 2019
Childhood
Amy Childers Feb 2019
I remember my innocent
Childhood like it was yesterday.
It is to bad that I can not relive just
One day.

Maybe the day
I lost my first tooth.
Or the day my sister was born.
Actual none of those are right.

I would go back to
The day that I first fell in love with you.
I would tell my younger self,
" See him over there? He is going to be the world to you."
109 · Feb 2019
Heartache
Amy Childers Feb 2019
Sorrow seeps from thine eyes
Like love weeps from my heart.
My love is an arch-villain.
You should put a caution on my brain.
Once you lust me
You will never love again.
100 · Feb 2019
Queen of the Night
Amy Childers Feb 2019
Oh Queen of the Night
Why must you wither before the morning light?
The gypsy among the burning sand.
The sun with its burning wasteland
Pales in your brooding sight.

Live just one more day
Because the sun hates what it can not touch.
Oh, what a tragic love!
93 · Feb 2019
The Wild Card
Amy Childers Feb 2019
Why do I let the wrong people in?
Why do I push the right people out?
Why is love so intoxicating and cruel?
Why do I fall for it every time?
Why do I never call your bluff?

That wild card is hard to swallow.
Your cuts don't show me a chance for your tomorrow.
I have seen your manipulation before
The question is should I not ignore
If I do who knows what is in-store.

Your love is toxic
Your heart is impure
You manipulate my brain
I am on the brink of becoming insane.
Maybe it is time to call your bluff.

I have now come undone.
91 · Jan 2019
The Aviator
Amy Childers Jan 2019
Can you be my aviator
And fly me away from reality?
We can live among the stars
And forget our responsibilities.
We can forget about our past and
Look to the stars for our future.

In the sky, we can look down
And see the lives of people
Who does not know that they are
Being controlled by their social standards.
They don’t know what it is like to be
Free.

Free to be a bird
Not an ant that has to obey the queen.
Free to be my own albatross
Not a bee that goes straight to the hive.
Free to be my own god
Not a gazelle that is constantly being preyed by the lions.

In the sky, we can look down
And see the lives of people
Who does not know about the
Whispers of authority and ignorance.
They don’t know what it is like to be
Free.

Can you be my aviator
And fly me away from these burdens?
We can live in the clouds and we can be
Truly Free.
84 · Feb 2019
Your Poison
Amy Childers Feb 2019
I would smell your intoxicating aroma .
I could taste your venom poison my soul.
I used to love your devilish grin
And your stone cold eyes.
But your love is radioactive.

We were nuclear.
We were going to go off any day.
The question was when and how?
Our chemical reaction was doomed from the start
But your rancor stained my heart.
79 · Jan 2019
Reality
Amy Childers Jan 2019
Warmth and Isolation.
The main drive in Human Nature.
As I sit in my version of Isolation
I feel the heat roll off my skin.
As I sit there I see the curtain moving.
I dare not open it.

Cold and Loneliness.
Nobody really wants to talk about it.
When people feel it that's when they shut up.
I know it’s out there, it always is.
It never goes away.
It is just something that we have to deal with.

If I open the curtain
My enchanted facade will fall apart.
But indelible the Warmth will run Cold
I will have to leave the Warmth and face the inevitable.
But that is okay.
The Warmth runs out anyway.

I can feel it.
The Warmth is going away.
Where has it gone?
Why can it not stay?
Why does it leave me when I need it the most?
But I will survive somehow.

Once I turn the Warmth off
I feel it leave my skin.
The curtain waves at me.
Beckoning for me to open.
I stand up
Forced to leave my warm Isolation.

I stand with the Cold on my skin
And I became aware of something that was not there before.
78 · Jan 11
Transparent
Amy Childers Jan 11
Was it all a lie?
All of the memories and all of the moments we shared.
Do you think they ever cared?
Or was I just the unloved child who they never wished to be there?
Everything hurts.
Even when I close my eyes the memories don't escape me.
You would never understand how I feel because it is like I am being forgotten.
Like a transparent page you can not see unless you look harder.
My mind races each night before I go to sleep because I dare think
you my love
will forget me.
76 · Feb 2019
The Mask
Amy Childers Feb 2019
I don’t like to put on the mask
It hides who I truly am
It hides my wounds
It hides my scars
Or at least that's what I thought.

Without it they snicker
They jeer
They laugh
They sneer
They think their actions are invisible.

With it on they whisper
Fake compliments
Fake love
Fake people
They all learned to hide and observe.

I guess with the mask on or off
They are all the same.
So why do I always hear the whispers?
And why do I care?
They are all the same.

I guess it is best to live with the mask on
Then they are oblivious to my pain.
67 · Feb 2019
Why?
Amy Childers Feb 2019
“Why am I in pain?
Why does my heartache?
Why are my feelings buried so deep?
Who put them there?
Why can I not open the chest to my love?

Why can I not feel love anymore?
Why does everyone hurt me?
Why will they not let me in their mind?
Who are my true friends?
Why does their ignorance swell in my eyes?

Why am I not loved?
Why am I not cared for?
Why do I care about what they say?
Who began this masquerade?
Why am I still playing it?”

“Why am I so alone?”

“ Because you are not like us.”
I guess I am feeling alone.
62 · Feb 2019
To Whom it May Concern
Amy Childers Feb 2019
To whom it may concern,
You do not know me and I don’t know you.
You will probably have no effect on my life.
We will never meet by chance
Or fate.
That stuff is just pure imagination.

To whom it may concern,
I will never experience love at first sight.
I will never be saved from the tower.
No prince will sweep me off my feet and carry me away
To a castle and make me queen.
That stuff is just pure fairy tales.

To whom it may concern.
I will never look deep into your eyes and see a future.
I will never be dazzled by your smile and your laughter.
I will never be charmed by your good looks.
I will never be held in your warm embrace.
That stuff is just pure hopes.

To whom it may concern,
No one will be mine
And I will never be someones.
So let's just go our separate paths
And never think of each other again.
That stuff is just pure reality.

— The End —