Can't you feel the sparks?
Between our hands were fireworks
where are we going?

It was great for a time
*** and wine
Wine and ***
Then commitment and open and shut curtains.
Special delivery of child made the bond complete
Six months down the line
Breast feeding was action watched from a distance
Intimacy was a tired look
The neighbours cat looked hot
Killed the lonely nights
Killed the commitment outright
Got to know the lawyer through rapid bank withdrawals
Weekly child visit watched over by Brutus
Bar visits watched over by the world's condemned
Special occasion became a twice yearly treat
Birthday and Christmas, bit of hate thrown sideways.
Then the new man.
Felt good for her.
Maybe some pressure off.
Maybe missed that lobotomy bar lecture.
Years dragged the hate forward.
Time moved on.
One day I wrote her a letter expressing my anger.
She wrote back in triplicate.
I wrote back in double triplicate.
She sent a thesis on men and *****.
Suddenly without thinking, we had dialogue.
After a while, we moved on from the anger.
We became human again.
I actually liked writing her letters and receiving them.
We never got back together.
But the letters kept us close.
Sometimes there would be a kiss at the end.
The little bit of love I probably never deserved.
I would mention it to her in my next letter.
Even an *** deserves a solitary kiss now and again.
The bar room lawyers would probably agree.

today i saw a thing,
something that caught my eye
i was shuffling down the sidewalk
as
c o n f u s e d
as could be,
when I saw a dull like flower
just.. staring up at me.
this flower had been abused,
fooled by its own love
it had been brutally stepped on and bruised from some careless person "above."
and you may find this funny, but maybe you'll understand
but i*  *heard  that flower

when i speak its words, i speak them for a few
some harmful things in life just don't make sense
**and i can only hope this flower's story can help you.

How ironic that on snowy days as this
your smile warms the room
and appears bright like the sun.

Some of my most heart filled prayers and wishes
are the ones I most forget to say.