Did you know that since I met you I haven’t finished a single cup of coffee,

or had a dream that I could remember

or gone to bed the same day that I got up?

I’m not complaining mind you.

I just find it intriguing the little things you have changed in my life without even realising it,

without any effort.

My life used to be mostly empty, as in devoid of things, vacuous perhaps, if that means like a vacuum. I mean there was lots of space in it that wasn’t filled with anything in particular.

But you have managed to fill all of that nothingness up.

The times when I used to sit here and daydream about nothing, suddenly there you are.

When I close my eyes before going to sleep and used to spend on average seven minutes thinking of nothing (and that a scientific fact not one I made up) I now spend (on average) seven minutes thinking about you.

In that fraction of a second when breathing in turns to breathing out, there you are.

In that fraction of a second when I blink, its you I see.

Because its you I yearn for. Because its you I want to have and hold and kiss and caress and so much more that I dare not write, even in a poem.

But how?

How did you do this?

How did you invade my very psyche, my soul, my spirit so completely so effortlessly and with such subtlety that I never even noticed. Until I noticed. And its not like I noticed you were here and watched as you spread to there but you were suddenly everywhere.

Places no one else had ever been before.

Ever.

Places that people I had known for much longer and much more intimately had never been able to reach.

And yet there you are.

Sitting on a swing.

Waiting.

I just wish I knew what for.

Today I went to my control panel and I uninstalled Love.

Thats right, I clicked add/remove programs, I clicked Love, I clicked uninstall.

But you know how it works, it didn't all get removed. Some "user files" got left behind and I'm supposed to remove them myself but I can't find where they're kept. I can find "the day you met me at the airport" with nooooo problem whatsoever. But I can't get rid of it because I don't know where its kept. So it haunts me. Same goes for "the closet" and "the mirror". Instant recollection. That used to be huge, that used to remind me that it was real and not just some dream I'd had.

But now its torture.

I though if I uninstalled Love then it would take all that with it and it would stop hurting.

But it didn't

and it hasn't

I should have uninstalled Love years ago when it wasn't being used and it just sat there doing nothing. It wasn't taking up any resources, it wasn't interfering with anything or slowing things down.

But then you came along.

And it sprung into action. Suddenly it consumed everything, it was running all the time and sure it slowed things down a little and sure some stuff didn't get done but it felt good. It felt so good. Every day felt like the first day of Spring and every night was spent dreaming of lying in your arms and it felt great.

But then the network crashed

the connection got broken

and while Love kept running it started to cause problems, its ground everything to a halt. It became like one of those viruses that just slowly chips away at your resources over time until you got nothing left.

After a few months and numerous attempts to get the connection back I finally admitted defeat and accepted things were over. And it hurt so much, too much.

So now I have no use for Love. Sure its nice when it runs ok but it crashes, every time it crashes. And I dont need that kind of hurt again.

So its gone.

Removed.

Uninstalled.

All I gotta do now is remove the fragments left behind.

And I'm pretty sure if I install enough Johnnie Walker I can flush those right out.

I write tidy little poems
uncomplicated rhymes
to paint for you a picture
contained within its lines

I have no time for flowery words
or eloquent pretense
I write poems people talk about
over the garden fence

I don't try to be too clever
or try to be too flash
Because making out your better
just leads you to a clash

Like "who the hell does he think he is
speaking down like that to me
Some others may like what he says
but his words are not for me"

And thats not what I'm all about
I write to share a thought,
a feeling, an emotion,
hell I even write 'bout sport.

I write so people know
that in their thoughts they're not alone
to arrest those night time monsters
that in our minds have grown

A trouble shared is a trouble halved
or so they used to say
but in our disconnected lives
we don't communicate that way

So instead of just sitting there
haplessly afloat
Do yourself a favour
and read the stuff I wrote

Some of it is happy
and some of it is sad
and some of it may just be like
experiences you've had

And once you find that piece
read it, take it home
and sleep a little better now
knowing you are not alone.

In a little under a hundred years we've had so many wars.
Men, women and children sacrificed for someones cause.

And truly just what has been gained, versus what was lost?
Can we say that it was worth it, can we justify the cost?

In nineteen thirty nine we had the war to end all wars.
Since then there've been so many, like we've hardly even paused

And what is it we fight for? Do we fight for right or wrong?
Or do we fight to get resources that we feel to us belong?

Now sure there are some victims, of persecutions, genocides
but unless there's oil or riches there, the strongest close their eyes.

We forget that we're not perfect, but thanks to Gandhi and Dr King
We changed our stars from where you are, and now know everything.

I cannot help but wonder though, if they were alive today,
would they see us a failure, shake their heads and walk away?

In a little under a hundred years we've learned not much at all,
except in war lies profit, and to some it seems a ball.

Because if you have stuff we want, and wont do as we say,
then we just roll our armies in and blow you all away.

Or if you do things differently, even as we once did,
then we will "liberate" you, then sell you to the highest bid.

See we want you to be like us, cos were so freakin smart,
sure we got people starving but an unmade bed is art.

"My Bed" was bought by Charles Saatchi for £150,000 in 1999.
£150,000 would feed 3200 children in Ghana for a year.
£150,000 would provide over 6800 prosthetics for children who have lost limbs as a result of landmines or unexploded munitions.
In a little under a hundred years, it would seem we have learned nothing.

and in a single look
   with no words spoken
     more was said
         than in an eternity of conversation
            and whispered proclamations

All it took was a suit in DC with a word,
on the back of a lie that everyone heard.
We were sold on the threat of mass destruction,
a war just to fuel our massive consumption.
"We're giving these people democracy no less"
but when we stand up and raise our voice in protest,
for our brothers and sisters that die over there,
it gets spun in our face to make out we dont care.

Whilst Wall Street and senators sit home and get rich,
my brother was killed by a bomb in a ditch.
Why do we let those with nothing to lose,
be the ones who decide, be the ones who choose,
what happens to children other than their own,
who go off to fight but dont always come home?
The world is in chaos and everyone's right,
but can't even agree on the cause of the fight.

So we sit here at home by the phone and TV,
just waiting to hear and just waiting to see,
a glimpse of our loved ones so far far away,
or their voice telling us they survived one more day.
Fear not my brothers who leave home shores,
to fly round the world and fight in their wars,
you are as much in our thoughts as you always have been,
long before yellow ribbons and magnets were seen.

One day you'll be home and back in our lives,
our brothers and sisters and husbands and wives.
But sadly not all will come home alive,
in caskets with flags on dead heroes arrive.
And I pray for justice for those that we've lost,
that someone will answer for this terrible cost,
that one day war will be a thing of the past.
Let the world live in peace, and a peace that will last.

I wrote the perfect poem,
then stripped it to its core,
to get under a hundred and forty,
now its not perfect anymore.

What is this light that lives inside
and makes us who we are.
What is the sense that guides us home
when we have wandered far.

What is that thing unique to us
which others seldom see
The thing that make you alone you
and makes me alone me

Be it our soul, our guiding light
our place is not to know
But rest assured t'will always be
with us where 'ere we go.

Tell me should I stick around
and keep filling in the gaps
left by those for whom you care
like paper over cracks

Or do I simply fill a need
that otherwise you’d live without
replacing passion, dreams and laughter
with insecurity and doubt

Tell me do I kid myself
one day there might be more
that being what he isn’t
will lead you to my door

I cannot help but wonder
how unhappy you would be
if you lost touch with all the qualities
that you only find in me

So tell me should I stick around
if you were me what would you do
would you let you take the best of me
while he gets the best of you

How much of what we use, is really what we need
and how much do we buy, to feed someone elses greed

We used to open windows and now we buy febreeze
then wonder why the allergies make everybody sneeze

Our homes are airtight boxes, like live-in tupperware
And yet most of us are ignorant to what poisons linger there.

We've been told that if we buy this stuff and do things in this way
Our lives will be much better, than they were just yesterday.

But yesterday the air was clear and you could hear when Robins sang
How did we ever get this far, without ylang ylang?

If we could see emotions,
how different the world might seem,
would the prettiest girl in town,
still be its beauty queen?

Or would pain and vanity,
that she keeps locked inside,
once visible to everyone,
give cause for her to hide?

And would the richest man town,
still live upon the beach?
Or would the pain behind those doors,
keep him within its reach,

and move him to a smaller house,
in a lesser part of town.
Instead of tailored suits,
in depression he'd be bound.

Would we look at others differently
if we could see their pain
and know that we are not alone
and our troubles are the same.

Winter went, Spring sprung
Summers never long enough
Autumn comes too soon

There is a road laid out before me
I know not where it goes
for its path is never shown to me
where it ends nobody knows

Each step I take along this path
reveals a little more
another hidden valley
deeper than the one before

Round each and every bend
lies a beauty seldom seen
a growing sense peace
a spirit so serene

I wonder what awaits
to what highs I will ascend
and if anyone will meet me there
at this journeys end

waiting for something to come in
waiting for something to go out
waiting for something I'm sure of
waiting for things which I doubt

waiting for a phone call
waiting to get off hold
waiting for it to get hot
waiting for it to get cold

waiting for something to start
waiting for something to end
waiting for a nice long straight stretch
waiting for whats round the bend

waiting for her to get ready
waiting for him to turn up
waiting for the play offs
waiting for who wins the cup

just how much of out lives are spent waiting
for things beyond out control
is it a week or a month or a year
wait there while I take a quick poll

I stand here at the bus stop
still waiting for the bus
which I think may not be coming
still I don't want to make a fuss

Given the choice of getting on
the bus or walking home
I'd take public transport every time
over strolling home alone

I know I should say something
but how does one explain
that they've already bought a ticket
now their left standing in the rain

If I just knew the bus was coming
that one day she would arrive
I could turn my collar to the wind
it's only weather, I'll survive.

Your head upon my chest,
your leg stretched over mine...
To start each day with you this way,
would make life truly divine.

I wake up early, watch you sleep,
an angel wrapped in dreams so deep.
No worries rest upon your face,
your body draped in silk and lace.

And as I wonder the vision you are,
you start to stretch and twists and stir.
With gentle smile and eyes now wide,
you slide your body to my side.

You pull me close and kiss my lips,
the passion felt betrayed by hips.
As lovers we do start to sway,
and so begins a perfect day.

its been 4 days since I've showered
5 days since I've shaved
6 days and 7 hours
since you chose to go away
two cartons of cigarettes
a bottle and half of scotch
it like time is stuck in neutral
nothings moving on my watch
I haven't been outside for days
the curtains have stayed drawn
the days rolled into endless grey
no nightfall, dusk or dawn
this won't go on forever
each day a bit more pain has gone
one day I will be numb enough
rumour has it, life goes on

Know war, no peace
No war, know peace

Youth is wasted on the young
you hear the old folk say
truth is they now feel bitter
for not doing more in their day

And yet the young want to be older
such is their pride before their fall
Truth is all of us have got it wrong
as time is wasted by us all.

Waking up alone
Sleeping feels like such a waste
Better just to rest
Than dream of us together
And wake up disappointed

Will our money keep us warm
when we no longer see the sun
Will our money keep us full
when all the fish have gone

Will our money quench our thirst
when our water is all spoiled
It's more convenient to **** ourselves
when once we would have toiled

We want everything now or yesterday
and always for a penny less
But the price will be paid in other ways
it's a truth we must confess

Do you forget you have the power
to change the way things are
to make it better for everyone
no matter if near or far

If you don't like how its going
stand up and raise your voice
I know it may not seem like it
but there really is a choice

Our leaders are there at our behest
we're the one's who gave them power
but we've forgotten that they work for us
like we came down with the last shower

Just as our votes did put them in
they can also take them out
but we've lost faith in democracy
apathy is winning out

So ask around your neighbors
your family and friends
and see who amongst them's happy
see the message that they send

Then ask them just how many
went out last time to vote
when you ask them why they didnt
you'll find that they've lost hope

So we need to get beyond this
to renew our hope and verve
til then we wont get what we want
but what apathy deserves

Is it ironic
that the child with terrible handwriting
expresses himself better with the written word
than he does the spoken?

We the people,
the citizens of this land
stand right here before you
brother, sisters hand in hand

To tell you that we've had enough
enough of all your greed
that helps you line your pockets
while ignoring those in need

To tell that we wont be scared
or frightened anymore
you can no longer use our fear
to justify your war

We're here to remind you
to listen to what we say
because you see you work for us
its not the other way

Look back upon our history
and you will clearly see
that when ruled by greed and tyranny
we'll fight to become free.

What are the chances we should meet,
and find our hearts share a single beat?
That to look in your eyes would reveal a soul,
that has what mine lacks and makes me whole?

What are the chances, can you tell me this,
that our love may one day be sealed with a kiss?
That despite starting off so far far away,
our lives grow entwined each and every day?

What are the chances together we might,
emerge from the darkness and into the light?
That one day I'll awake with you by my side,
and our love for each other need no longer hide?

What dreams may come to me this night
yet disappear by mornings light
What visions there of you and me
my waking hours will never see

The touch, the taste, the smell of you
Is cast out by the sun
But in the first breath of a brand a new day
Lies the scent of dreams to come

Who me?
No I've lived here all along.
Well I leave here kinda early,
and my days are kinda long.

My name?
oh its Andy, sorry, didn't catch yours,
oh really like the singer,
oh, yeah, writer, of course.

Soaked? Yeah me too.
When I left it didn't look bad,
and of course when the suns out,
you can, always, get a cab.

No not that far just a block or two,
that bank on 4th and 9...
Oh really? Round the corner?
Yeah, no I eat there all time.

Well, no, you're always busy,
but yeah I've seen you there.
I tend to just grab take out though,
go to the park and get some air.

Well whenever I like really,
there is no special time.
Around two? Yeah I'd like that.
Lets just hope the weathers fine.

Ok then, til tomorrow.
No really not at all...
I would have said something eventually.
Just, not here in the hall.

No please don't be embarrassed,
I'm really glad you did.
Saved me getting tongue tied,
and feeling like a kid.

What if your last love was exactly that, the last one?
Would you be more forgiving?
Would you "let more things go" in favor of not being alone?
After all, if they were your last and you knew there wouldn't be another, might you not be more inclined to keep them around?
I think about that sometimes.
I knew goodbye wasn't what they wanted to hear.
I knew they wanted to work it out.
But I know, for me, there was just no way.
Don't get me wrong, it was once great. It was once the best.
For a while we both tried to kid ourselves that it would last forever.
Turns out we were both wrong.
But as sad that feels, it was the right thing to do.

And if they were the last, then as much as it ***** being so premature, it could have been much worse.

What if there's no God?
What if there's no plan
and everything thats come to pass
is all the fault of man

We act just like a virus
consuming more than most
soiling what we leave behind
no consideration for our host

And what if we're an ant farm
on some super beings desk
an experiment in pestilence
earths limits sent to test

We like to think of higher  powers
it gives us someone else to blame
but if we knew 'twas really down to us
would we do things just the same?

WHAT IF TIME IS RUNNING OUT?

What if time is running out, there's so much I've yet to do
see the sunrise in the desert, watch it set from Kathmandu

Meditate in Angkor Wat, eat Sushi in Hong Kong
its been nearly 40 years now, you think she changed while I was gone

Scuba dive the Barrier Reef, go snowboarding and live
Make my peace with everyone, because there's nothing to forgive

Explore India like locals do, travel on top the train
armed with my black umbrella, just in case it starts to rain

Pay my parents back for everything, for all the love they shared
Find a way to tell them thank you, that does justice to how they cared

To show my son how much I love him, and how proud of him I am
and how that once scared little boy, has turned into a man.

Tell my sister she's the best there is, that I am proud of her
and ask for her forgiveness, that I was not the brother she deserved

So, what if time is running out, there's so much I haven't done
there's one more thing left on my list, to see if you're the one.

What if, too late
I see your smile
For the wonder that it is

What if, too late
I forgive the past
for a moment that just is

What if, too late
I apologise
and overcome my pride

What if, too late
all of this happens
once you have left my side

What is this place that we call home
Its different for us all
No matter just how far we roam
We always hear its call

Sometimes it call is very strong
And difficult to bear
We find ourselves missing it so
And wishing we were there.

But with each day that passes by
We learn to realise
That home truly is not without
But carried deep inside.

Who decides how long is long enough
in matters of the heart
perhaps we should create a scale
to follow from the start

A scale that says when its ok
to go for that first kiss
and other important milestones
in case the signs we miss

But where do these dates come from
on who's logic is it based
because quite frankly their ideas
tend to leave a bitter taste

Each of us different
and we move at different speeds
some make decisions quickly
and some have special needs

So the answer to the question
should be based on naught but us
and not on thoughts of ones we know
who disagree and make a fuss

What lies ahead in this life of mine
I really do not know
Should I take charge and lead the way
and force my heart to follow

Or should I follow love
wherever it may lead
and risk ending up far from home
on unfamiliar streets my heart to bleed

Either way some years from now
a new place I will call home
I have a plan to buy some land
build a place to call my own

So no matter where I roam
what I see or what I do
there'll always be a sanctuary
for me to come back to

I do not know what lies ahead
in this life of mine
Sometimes that kind of worries me
other times it suits me fine.

It always hurts to see you cry
and not to know the reason why
The cause of which I try to find
but your answers always "never mind"

But mind I do, because I care
and hate to see you sitting there
with tears escaping bloodshot eyes
no explanations, revealing whys

It always hurts to hear you cry
and not to know the reason why
to listen to your sobs at night
that start when I turn out the light

Since your mother left things have been tough
some days are hard, some days are rough
But whatever's wrong can't be so bad
that you can't tell me, I'm still your dad.

Hey there, are you new here?
So how come we never met?
Me, I'm always late for work
No matter which alarm I set

So tell me whats your name?
I'm Heloise, sorry, you go first.
After Heloise the writer,
hey you were close, could have been worse.

I'm soaked I wasn't thinking,
we were gonna get some rain.
And in the rush to get the bus,
I dropped my fare right down the drain.

You look like you walked miles.
You must be soaked through to the skin.
I am a waitress at Dukes Diner.
You should try us, come on in.

So how come I haven't seen you,
Are we talking the same place?
Cos I'm sure I would remember,
such a handsome face.

Say what time is it you come in?
Because I get a break at two.
I could come and join you in the park,
if thats ok with you?

How about tomorrow?
Are sure that its ok?
I dont want to be too pushy,
If its not ok just say.

Ok so now I'm blushing.
Are you sure that you dont mind?
You are? I know, I'm rushing,
But it works the best I find.

When is a kiss just a kiss
and when is it so much more?
When it leaves you feeling richer
even if you're poor?

When it leaves a tingle on your lips
and a flutter in your heart?
When you feel its passion in your hips
long after you're apart?

When it catches your breath, and time stands still
and all else goes away?
Now who wouldn't want to be kissed like that
each and every day?

To know one day we won't wake up
or see the fullness of our cup

no more to feel the shining sun
the ride is over, the race is run

on that day and not before
will we be given our final score.

it's not a pass or fail test
it's about knowing you did your best

And so i ask each one of you
just how well do you think you'd do?

When I finally depart this world
and my body's all that remains
Remember I'm now a free man
no more shackled in chains

Send me off with joy not sadness
Remember my life with a smile
For I had my share of ups and downs
but morbidity's not my style

Weave me a casket of wicker
place me high on a funeral pyre
Set me alight to set me free
And drink as the flames grow higher

Let nature take my ashes
and spread them on the four winds
give me one last chance to make it
to those places I never have been

When finally the end arrives
will it be a blessed release
will the turmoil of this life we live
be at last replaced by peace
Will I say goodbye with dignity
slipping slowly from the light
or will I be gripped by panic
from holding on too tight
I hope I have the courage
that I can show to those who care
so they remember me as being calm
passing in peace, not in despair.
There's so much I have left to do
so much more I have to say
when finally the end arrives
please let it not be today.

If you give too much to someone
it gives them more to take away
leaving yourself with nothing
should you ever see that day

The pain of loss is not forgotten
so it takes years to get it back
only this time it is different
there are parts of it you lack

Where once you trusted everything
there's now an element of doubt
Where once you gave yourself completely
there's a piece you hide and wont let out

The things you thought were here forever
have been shown to never last
And the people in your future
pay tolls for others from your past

And then one day there is a moment
a twisted clarity descends
that happy ever after
is not the way your story ends

You helped me turn a corner yesterday
To see there truly was another way
I was floundering and lost
wallowing in the cost
But you somehow knew the words you had to say

I had somehow managed to lose myself
But you could see me there in plain sight on the shelf
You knew where I was coming from
convinced me what I thought was wrong
took my shattered heart and nursed it back to health

I wish that I could find the words to show
the gratitude that you already know
I carry you inside my heart
as did right from the start
you're now with me every single place I go

Needless to say I'd gladly do the same for you
after all I know what you are going through
the fact you put that to one side
to convince me I shouldn't hide
is the noblest thing a friend could ever do

And so today is the first day of my new start
A life in which I want to actually take part
I owe so much of it to you
My friend so beautiful and true
Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

Time passes at its slowest
when your soul is at its lowest
and at times it seems as if it has stood still

But when your soul is happy
time it passes pretty snappy
you couldn't slow it down with all your will

but every once in a little while
on the clock face is a smile
and the perfect day just never seems to end

having a picnic in the park
lighting candles after dark
fun and love and laughters perfect blend

Dont hold on to anger
let it go, let it go

Dont lock your words inside you
let them flow let them flow

Dont smother your creativity
let it grow let it grow

And don't hide your personality
let it show let it show

When you picture your paradise
what do you see?
A guy with a pen and a pad 'neath a tree?
or perhaps there are footprints
marked in the sand
tracing pathways of lovers
who walked hand in hand
Or maybe just maybe
there are sparks in the sky
from the bonfire beside which
we sleep you and I
When you picture your paradise
what do you see
for when I picture mine
I see just you and me

Is this real
or is it just a fantasy
is there a future
anywhere for you and me
What do you want
do you even know that much
or will we both live
with just the memory of that touch
That fated weekend
when we two became as one
and my defenses
were all finally undone
was that real
or was that just a fantasy
was it the beginning
or the end of you and me?

Where did all the trees go Dad?
    Why son we cut them down,
    milled them into two by fours,
    used them to build the town.

    And what we didn't build with,
    we burned upon the stove.
    See we never thought we could,
    use up this treasure trove.

    Once, we started planting,
    a tree for each cut down,
    but then we ploughed them under,
    to make room for a bigger town.

    And then all of a sudden,
    (at least thats how it seemed),
    we had so many people,
    more than we ever dreamed.
  
    We had nothing left to build with,
    and nowhere to grow food.
    So people started moving out,
    in a less than happy mood.

    With everyone so angry,
    at all that was so wrong,
    they raised their voice in protest,
    at marches and in song.

    But nobody could help us,
    cos in our hour of need,
    we'd consumed or sold off everything,
    to satisfy our greed.

    We wanted it all now,
    didn't want to look ahead,
    so in answer to you question son,
    all the trees, like us, are dead.