Hello my name is Roffle La Mau, and I live on MSN.
Me and Lol were born with the internet, so we've only been round since then

Lol and I alwsay get looked at, whenever we're out in a crowd,
as I roll on the floor laughing my *** off, and he's busy laughing out loud

Give me a paintbrush and I'm lost

I produce things kindergarten kids would be too embarressed to take home to their parents, lest they stick them to the refrigerator door with little magnets and "other people" saw them.

Give me a pencil and I fare much better.

Things a high school kid would be kinda proud of but not necessarily want his peers to see are what I can produce with a pencil.

But give me words

Oh sweet, succulent words. Words with juice and passion and pain locked inside and I can free it all.

Words are my paint

Typewriter keys are my brushes

And this is my canvas

And on this canvas I can paint so many things.

Tales of love that remind what love used to be like when it was new and fresh and vibrant and all consuming, when love and the person you loved were the very air that you breathed, and when you could be with them you thought you would suffocate.

Tales of not love. Tales of a love that flows like a river in one direction only, always away from you and never towards. Washing away the banks of your soul as it does, eroding hope on its way before emptying into a sea of despair.

Tales of loss so vivid they bring tears to the eyes of some who read them for they truly are tragic tales.

And tales of hope. triumphs of good over evil, love over loss, joy over pain and sunshine over rain.

I paint pictures that make you laugh out loud and then quickly look round to see if anyone noticed.

But I am not naive

Pictures are subjective things, some we like some we don't.

And thats ok.

I'm not a big fan of Picasso, and as sensitive a guy as he was, he probably wouldn't be offended by that either.

Thank you for looking at the pictures I paint and the words I paint them with.

I close my eyes and picture what it would be like to wake up with you, and see the most serene things.

The perfect way to start the day

A thing that starts with stirring as we try and resist the natural action of actually waking up

Taking care to keep eyes closed we stretch

First one, then the other as our movements interfere with the perfect combination of bodies that has been our night

A hand moved

A whispered intention

A smile

Eyes still closed

Everything done by sense of touch

No alarm clocks

No ringing telephones

No sudden starts

Just two people greeting the day and each other in the most perfect way

You share with me your sunrise
and it brightens up my day
You seem now somehow closer
despite being far away

Perhaps maybe this evening
I'll share with you my sunset
One day ours may be the same
how much better does it get.

What happens when an eye for eye
has left the whole world blind
Will that be the time we see
we should've left the past behind

With each liberty they take
with each human right ignored
they build for us a prison
for the safety it affords

Until we are no longer free
and they've stopped us being brave
by promoting threats and fear
to make sure that we behave

Forgiveness is the only way
to get peace back on the shelves
for until we forgive others
we will never free ourselves.

Some of this is real
and some of it is not
some will be remembered
and some will be forgot

All of this has come from me
these are words I've written down
but I do not always wear its cape
nor bleed beneath its crown

So take this down from time to time
leave it not upon the shelf
and read its contents knowing
the authors really in good health.

Life isn't happy endings
and the streets aren't paved with gold
and fortune favours the other guy
no matter if he's brave or bold

While we all dream of fairy tales
and once upon a times
its my sad duty to tell the truth
in this disappointing rhyme

Ladies if you kiss a frog
you'll just get frog goop on your lips
there'll be no dashing prince
broad of shoulder, thin of hips

And gentlemen I kid you not
there is no sleeping beauty
the only girls who sleep all day
are those who work night duty

(and trust me, you don't wanna be waking them up)

No magic lamp, or secret word
will help you change your lot
so **** it up my buttercups
what you have is all you've got.