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A Thomas Hawkins Aug 2010
Once upon a time
my days were filled with you
but now its only rain that falls
and sky's are never blue

With misery for company
despair my closest friend
I'll never understand
why he chose your life to end

I struggle to find sense in it
each and every day
But I see no higher purpose served
in taking you away

You were my one and only child
the one good thing in my life
that somehow survived the car crash
that claimed my pregnant wife

You were so much like your mother
the way you looked the things you did
Even Frank and Betty said
she was like you as a kid

So now you are together
you finally get to meet
Tell her I miss her dancing
even with her two left feet

She'll read to you at bedtime
just like daddy used to do
especially your favourite
about the woman in the shoe

Daddy's got to go now
got a meeting to attend
If you do see mommy
tell her my love I send
.
.
.
.
.

Hello everyone my name is Bill,
and I'm an alcoholic
I never saw I had a problem
til it became so chronic

Three years ago my wife was killed
she was pregnant when she died.
But my little baby girl was born
right there at the roadside.

The paramedics saved her
but they couldn't save my wife
I was drunk at home oblivious
busy ******* away my life

Then a month ago my daughter died
in that crash on I-71

It was my fault,

I was driving drunk,

God forgive me for what I've done.
A Thomas Hawkins Aug 2010
I see you there,
yet I can't speak.
Cos to look in your eyes,
just makes me weak.
My tongue gets so tied,
and the words disappear,
the ones that I want,
to whisper in your ear.
The ones that would tell you,
just how I feel,
not the ones I make up,
but the ones that are real.
And yet when I see you,
I turn walk away.
So you have no idea,
I'm too frightened to say,
that you're all I think of,
and how I fantasize,
that one day you'll sit there,
and look in my eyes.
And holding my hand,
you'll make me feel strong,
and give me the courage,
to know right from wrong.
All the doubts in myself,
that are holding me back,
the feelings of inad-
aquecy and lack.

On the bus on the way home,
and sat in the park.
I dream of a meeting,
with you and a spark,
that goes off between us,
and you feel it too.
It would certainly make this,
easier to do.

But the chances of that,
are incredibly low.
To meet you,
I dont even know where to go.
So I sit on the bench,
in the park and I write.
Dreaming that one day,
one day you just might,
happen to be ,
in a place we can meet.
Maybe here in the park,
or out there on the street.
That I'll have courage to speak,
and together we're drawn.
So we'll talk to each other,
and romance is born.

We'll find a small cafe,
drink coffee and tea.
I'll ask about you,
and you'll ask about me.
And we'll be there all day,
or as long as it takes,
surrounded by teacups,
coffee and cakes.
And time will fly by,
like you wouldn't even know.
and the man at the counter,
will ask us to go.
He's already stayed open,
that little bit late,
but now it's nine thirty,
and he closes at eight.
With a wink of his eye,
says he knows where we are,
at the start of a journey,
he hopes will go far.
So as we walk out together,
into the night,
I look in your eyes,
and ask we might,
continue tomorrow,
this thing that we do.
Where you ask about me,
and I ask about you.
A Thomas Hawkins Aug 2010
One day we'll take a roadtrip
together you and me
and drive across the country
just to see what we can see

We'll start off on the east coast
and slowly head out west
we'll get there when we get there
cos taking time is best

we'll stop when the mood takes us
and find a place to stay
get a room recharge our batteries
and if we like it spend the day

We'll eat sandwiches and picnics
eat in and take out too
The world will be our oyster
with no rules for me and you
A Thomas Hawkins Aug 2010
I trace my fingers cross the carving on the tree
Letters in a heart mean you for me
I still remember clearly that day
and the love we have that never went away.

Was the perfect summer day fifty years back
You and me and a picnic in a pack
Sandwiches and cake and lemonade
Two grown up little kids in 7th grade

I remember we went swimming in the creek
Something we looked forward to all week
Then we took a walk together holding hands
and told stories bout the folk in far off lands

We talked about our families and our folk
told more stories, now and then a little joke.
And then we talked about the ones we miss
and I wiped away your tears with a kiss

Right there and then we knew we were in love
and swore we be together fore him above
I told you I would marry you one day
you said if they wouldn't let us we'd run away

It was then I carved our names into this tree
those letters in a heart mean you for me.
A Thomas Hawkins Aug 2010
I wish...

I wish that I was better with words.

I wish that I was more confident.

The kind of confident that would let me walk up to your door and tell you everything. Tell you everything that goes on inside my head as far as you're concerned.

But I'm not.

So I can't.

But I want to.

I want so badly to tell you that maybe, just maybe, you, are the one.

Not in a Matrix gonna save the world from the machines kind of a way but in the way that real people think of the one. The one that I've been looking for, the one I gave up looking for, the one that I didn't think even existed.

At least not for me.

I want to tell you that I think you may be the one and I want you tell me that you've been wanting to say the same thing.

But you couldn't.

Because you weren't good enough with words.

Because you didn't have the confidence.

Wouldn't that be ironic.

But I'm also scared.

I'm scared that I'll see you and tell you that I think you might be the one and hear you say thats all very nice and you might be my one, but I'm not yours.

And you'd be sorry.

You'd be sorry and you'd mean it because you are kind and you are beautiful. But it wouldn't help.

So what do I do?

Do I risk it? Do I tell you and cross everything and hope and pray that maybe, just maybe, I might be your one too?

Or do I say nothing.

Do I say nothing and just continue to lie here every night the way I have been since I worked out what it was about you that caused you to be in every thought that I have and every dream?

There is safety in saying nothing.

If I don't say anything then you can't say anything bad. You can't say no. You can't say that maybe you don't believe in the one. You can't say that you had your one once and it didn't work out so how can you possibly have another.

I know its crazy, but thats the way you drive me.

And its crazy that you drive me crazy. It's crazy that you've gotten under my skin the way you have. Its crazy that you've gotten under my skin so completely, you're like a tattoo. Like a tattoo in a private place, a hidden place. Like a living breathing tattoo that I carry round with me all the time and I'm the only one that knows that you're there. And I'm glad you're there. I like you there.

So I keep wishing.

Only now I wish that maybe you read poetry and you happen accross this somehow and read it and pick up the phone and say "Hey... stop wishing so much, just kiss me."

I wish.
Another attempt at trying not to rhyme and yet create something that could pass for poetry.

Follow me on Twitter @athomashawkins
http://twitter.com/athomashawkins
A Thomas Hawkins Aug 2010
Keep your TV's and your stereos,
PC's and DVD's.
I'm reclaiming my freedom,
and none of thats for me.

I've quit being a consumer,
gonna boycott the recession.
Because I'd rather have my freedom,
than be prisoner to my possessions.

Who cares if I don't have TV,
Satellite or cable?
I have time to sit and read and write,
for as long as I am able.

When I climb into bed at night,
I'm tired from all I've done.
No longer am I lying there,
working out where time has gone.

No microwave or dishwasher,
to speed up all my chores.
Cooking is my therapy,
tell me what is yours?

Is it watching new stuff gather dust,
just like the old stuff did?
Did you have to have the biggest toys,
when you were a little kid?

Well for me I choose the simple life,
filled with only what I need.
No more status driven plastic debt,
no more unsatisfying greed.
A Thomas Hawkins Aug 2010
When I close my eyes to sleep at night,
I see you lying there,
alone in bed so far away,
it just doesn't seem quite fair.

If wishes worked like magic,
that's not what I would see.
For you would be much closer,
lying next to me.

Your head would be upon my chest,
your leg draped over mine.
Softly, you'd be sleeping,
and life would be just fine.

And as I drifted off to sleep,
your arms would hold me tight.
Together we would dream the truth,
of this and every night.

That this is how we're meant to be,
together, intertwined.
Just look at all the paths we took,
each other just to find.
Follow me on Twitter @athomashawkins
http://twitter.com/athomashawkins
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