Smoke dances seductively
while ascending from my to-this-day anonymous Pipe;
undulating and contorting, all according
to the movement of this particulate crystal lattice we call 'Air',
with which all these fans are *******.

As Light transfixes the Smoke,
revealed is some Grain of Wood like texture
floating and distorting elegantly and eloquently
as 5 centimeter thick cross-sections,
courtesy of the not quite fully open Blinds.

We can close the three-hundred and some odd mile gap
and stand silent for a second with our
                brainwashed gazes, glassy and glazed.
I’ll drive five hours to find the boy with the tired eyes—
the boy who made me promise.
                It’s for keeps.
We can spread a blanket and I’ll show you
the big and little dippers in the soil sky
                (they’re all I know how to find).
We can touch and whisper in a composition of exhales
and our two tongues that hide behind our four lips—
                yours that mask the gap I don’t mind,
                mine that I bite until purple and bleeding—
will drip with nectar, syrupy and saccharine,
which we will cup in half moon hands.

In sleep, the lungs balloon.
Air fills their walls and sacs where it can,
like saltwater waves cresting in inhales
and exhales.

They release and crash
as ribs slide tides of breath
shallow within the core,
where we cannot hear the volumes
of the waves that drift us about our nocturnal coma.
of the waves that drift us about our nocturnal coma.that we never feel how far from the shore
we have been taken, up and down.

Our chests, we have moved them
but elsewhere.
The ribs crack like driftwood
in the choppy current, and float
from the diaphragm of the Atlantic into
our chest cavities.

Now we both caught ourselves staring
I analyzed  what you were wearing
My heart skipped a beat, the idea of love started preparing
I approached from the side, asked if you had a guy,
You replied with a "I'm just doing me" I took that as a lie
Cause no woman walks around hoping she doesn't get surprised, by a good guy...who could mend her broken heart with care over time.
A smile broke her defense, a kind gesture made her less tense.
two and a half months later and it's undoubted happiness
I wouldn't think any less, seems I finally found my princess,
Who would cure all my scars,
Unwind all my tangled stress
But I guess.. the sayings true
That a good thing is to good to actually be true,
Her false happiness became clear, figment love easier to see through
What happen? Use to the best thing I thought I never knew...
I started becoming a sceptic
My mind started thinking hectic
I should've seen all the signs when you finish fights with "forget this"
Cause that's what she was doing
Forgetting all the issues
I love you turned into silence, whatever's from I miss yous  
The stars became detached
The shapes no longer matched
It is what it is, but do we both honestly believe that?
Love becomes a war
Affection into infection
I caught your negativity
Cured it, and learned a viral lesson.
That you don't truly know a person until you both break up
Infatuated  with ones beauty until they finally remove the make up.
Devil in disguise but your still an angel in my eyes
I don't consider it being naive
Some people just always have your heart, and never leave your mind.

-Dougie simps

At Nineteen,
I bore witness to the live Birth of my Son.
He was adopted out via Open Adoption
to a very nice Family a few Hours away in Ukiah.
I'm still in contact with them, I get pictures every six Months
and I'm very happy to also be able to see Him every so many Months.

At Twenty,
I lost my Father. I found him on the floor and called 911. I paid for his Cremation the next day.
It was what he told me he wanted; his ashes are in a box in my room.
Perhaps even moreso than he was my "Father", he was by best Friend;
for better and for worse.

At Twenty-One;
my Girlfriend of Five Years, who was also Mother of the aforementioned Child, and I
broke up on Friendly terms. Now she lives about 200 miles away.
We're still cordial, and I'm glad we still speak.
Eternal Allies are rare to come by,
to say the least.

So far, Twenety-Two has been rather turbulently eventful, as well.
Between Family and their lack, personal choices and relationships,
and the furtherment of my Self as well as my expressive Capacities,
it's been a hell of a Twenty-Two so far,
to say the least.

All of these things leave me with an Understanding
that I cannot ever judge anyone, for I know not of their struggles
and that no One can ever truly judge anyone else,
for the same reason.

Through all of this, I feel evermore
that this Life is ******* great,
and that's no sarcastic remark:

Life
is a trippy and tumultuous Journey
and I'm thankful for this opportunity
to experience this Holiest of Realities, to say the least;
though it is a Lesson in Humility, to say the least.

And thus:

Thank you for reading my writings.
Thank you for taking time out to read what I have to bring forth.
Thank you for existing and expressing.

Blessings upon thy Paths;
wheresoever you've been
wheresoever you're going
thank you just for Being.

Please be your Self; you owe it to your Self,
for that is all you ever have, to say the least,
and so, once more:

*Blessings upon thy Path.

Is it such a shameless sin
To fall in love with who you are within?
No one ever speaks of how beautiful they can be
If they didn't put an entire focus and energy
On artificial eye pleasers
To tease the mind
To define beauty
With a worthless dime & an impossible size
If you keep depending on everyone else to tell you you're lovely
For who will you perform when crowd leaves?

You count the calories
Instead of the stars
For the world to see
Another beautiful body.
To run the long mile
So your thighs don't touch
Will who you really are ever be enough?
You've wandered down a street
Where the washed up women are all so cheap
For red lipstick you are a thief
Who will you be
When the audience retreats?

Once the whole world disappears
Into meadows of flowering fields
And numbers are but an illusion so far
All you'll have left to count on are those ******* stars.

I have an Island where I go
across the ocean,
where I know
I can be free, to groan out loud but inwardly
to sit and watch the endless sea
I have an Island where I go
to be alone
to know myself.