Drinking lemonade with a hint of port
ice
fruit
and bendy straw

thinking lemonade with a hint of port
nice
cute
and I want more

We need to be
A little more aware
Of what we do to ourselves
It can be easy
To let ourselves go
Hurting ourselves
In different ways
Dishonoring ourselves
Sometimes
We can feel
Like we aren't
Worth fighting for
That we don't deserve any better
Than where we are
Sometimes
It can just seem easier
Not to care
Not to care about ourselves
Or not to care about others
I think
It can become easy
Easy to get lost
So lost in yourself
That you can't see
The trees
Or the sun
Or the breeze
Or the sky
Or to see
Just how beautiful
We all really are
In our own ways
Coming to
The understanding
That we are all here
We all have our place
We are all connected
In our own ways
We just have to search inside
To find the answers we need
To make it through another day

we carry scars
and marks
imperfections of pigment
warped bones
and fragmenting knees
we feel the weather
in our old injuries
if you play
you inevitably bleed

I have forgotten how happy this makes me
But I am grateful for it

Grateful for the mistakes
For the learning that comes from the ****** up things my mouth does
When all I wanted was for you to laugh

I am thankful for the laughter
And the overwhelming smile that I am normally self-conscious of
When the laughter makes me think how much I love you

Come sit with me in the middle distance
Between the times I want to remember forever
And the fast approaching future
That I don’t want to miss without you

It’s not gay when we hold hands in public
Unless we’re being gay about it

Look around
Who is staring?
They’re just jealous of the love

Thank you so much for getting me
When I feel no one else does
For understanding me so perfectly that
You can stop my stupidity mid-sentence
Just by saying my name

Say my name again like a double negative

Let my mouth slip a little further into absurdity

Thank you for the dancing
On dimly lit dance floors
Slick with sweat
And scuffed with heel-heart grace

I want to remember my awkwardness like a scar

Your smile is a scar reminding me of us
When I begin to tell these stories again

Like that time I broke into a car to steal him a pack of smokes

Or when we sat in her car after class til 2 am just talking
Just laughing

When I remind her how much I like kissing her
Especially when we’re drunk
Sloppy and passionate

When I pull my face from yours
And you smile so beautifully

When I slept on her couch because I didn’t want to go home that night
So I treated her to pho the next morning

When I held her after drinking
Under blankets she warmed in the dryer

Every time I tell them I love them
I mean it

When they taught me how to dance
When grace is something I never needed
To move like this feels good

The beer
And the tears
The laughter
The mornings after

I am grateful because of you
And because of you
I am full of greatness

Full of can-do-fire
And won’t-quit-cliché-heart
Full of first attempts with the goal to fail
Because I want to experience it all

With you

So thank you
For the laughter
And the dancing
And the awkward scar smiles
That reminds me how worthwhile living is

It is worthwhile
Because of you