She just turned 40,
And I wonder if her
5 year old self
Would love the person she became.
God knows I do.

He
Is so
*******
Full
Of life

You whisper to me
From somewhere I'm not.
I think of you
Wherever you are.

I hope you're okay,
Yes, I'm well.
But I hope that
You're happy and safe.

There is something
So safe
About a road
You've never been on

Please                                  Do not stare
              Don't look at me
Please                       Do not reach for me
           Leave my hand be
Please                     Not this kind of love
          I don't want this
Please                    Just leave me
                  Please

I never
Got to know you
So
You're not who
I thought you were.

His presence brings you peace,
Allows you to sleep, but what
Has he done for you that
You haven't already done for yourself?

She must be mad
     The girl draws bees-
         The hive for days
              And traded her heart for
                        wings

Honeycomb sweet
   Poor girl too light on her feet
     Crazy sad girl
         She's following the bees

Pieces of each other everywhere,
His hands on the bed
He left his head in the shower
And his heart is still in the sink.

Little things with you..
Waking up, arms still around my shoulders and love on my sleeves.
Leaves his words on my cheek
With a kiss

"Baby I love you.."

Poets are supposed to be deep
And I am stuck in a rut.

The most intimate
Thing I have ever felt was
The sharing of prayers.

The happiness and well being
Of each other  a common
Wish between us.

I've never felt
So close to you my
Dear one.

You and I
We will live in
This place,
The space between
Heaven and Earth.
Where I've only
Met you God's handful
Of times
And everyone
Would probably
Speak in Shakespearean
Ryhmes, and love would
Pave the sky.

When does it start to be abuse?

If you wouldn't
Take the Sun for granted
Do not take Me for
Granted


But you forget
Who brings you Warmth
Don't you?..

She fell for herself
somewhere between
the late night talks
and embarrassing faces.

Take care
Of yourself,  
You Queen

I love you
Like I love the clouds
like looking up,
And knowing you'll be there
Even through the rain

I don't remember who you are
You've knocked three times
Instead of coming strait in
****..I thought we were closer than that.

I don't recognize the mask you wear
That shields your eyes from mine.
I can see your darting eyes
Taking in the new person I am.
You don't seem surprised...

But I am...who are you?..
I don't see the honest person
When you're feeding me with lies
I can't read the words you say
When your lip gloss kisses them out

Your dangling ear rings must have caught
The secrets I tried to tell you
Because so far you haven't heard a thing
I whispered in faith..

Can I trust you anymore...
**** where'd you go?
Yeah you're still silly!
But you act like I'm a joke

You've never laughed so hard at me before
The worst part is...
I wasn't making any jokes...

Better get
The duct tape
Before my heart
Leaps out
Of my chest

I whisper my prayers
To the Sun's children
Of love and kindness
And tell them about the strength
That he gives to me.

They have all grown
In peace and every day
They blossom towards
The warmth of my words to
Him.

You do what
you have to.
Even though part
of you dies a little

there are nights when your brain is static
And the only words you can mutter are self pitying
And human connection feels lost
The station of your words is weak
And you want to curl up and become antic like the records you love so much
Like the typewriter you value for print
But can no longer use
Until you collect dust in your lungs
Until your ribs are rusted
Until you are fossil fuel
Until you become recycled paper
In someone's printer

I wonder if the
Stars can read my
Lips when I pray
To them from my window

I wish I could
Be indifferent to you,

But my anger rises like smoke
And you are the center of what

Always drove me to the brink
Of leaving my home.

One will always experience what the other does in
some strange, guilty way

I tell you
Goodnight
But I don't know what
I really mean by that

I can't help but
Be thankful it didn't work out

I'd like to live
Between the blades
Of grass

To collect the dew
On my legs
In the mornings

For spiders to use me
To steady their webs with
Nimble limbs.

For young girls
to play with as they
Sit cross legged in their yard

To grow and be taken
For granted and to become
Aerial when she does cartwheels and gets me in her hair

To be green and sit under
The sun and withstand the rain

I resent
The window for
Being more open then me

i feel
empty
like the glass spilled
with nothing inside
the mess that needs cleaning
but not a piece out of place to even show it
so many pieces
but none of them fit quite right
feeling...incomplete
the skeleton without the backbone
under the bed
already out from the closet

When the
petals fall,
does the stem
fade too?

Stop getting so
excited,
this is when
you let yourself
down

I love chaotic
Things
Each bit of me
Messier
More unmanageable
Than the rest

She begins
to stare out the windows
of every place she goes
She slept a few nights in a stranger's home

Looked out his window
And begged the sun to stay
She wished for the morning to
breathe through the lights again

The nights became empty again
She fell in love with a stranger's room
The way she could breathe so easily
and talk so clumsily to herself

Closed the door and didn't
feel like locking it
She didn't have to lock herself in
to feel okay

Sie beobachtet manchmal ihre Mutter rauchen und versuchen, in ein Koma zu trinken und manchmal
Sie will das selbe machen
Um diesen Schmerz loszuwerden
Aber sie weiß es besser

I am
Always there, but
Where were
You?

Some people,
Are angelic. Graceful. Godly.
They are otherworldly
In their beauty

And others
They are hell and heaven
On Earth
Imperfect and rough
Around the edges
With witchcraft
Under their skin

All of this life it has been-
"she's too young to know what's good for her, you know"
Ah and she should be off with her friends! Having fun, laughing! Go on and play, dear!
But she has been listening in
She has got this heart you see,
Old soul they say
But young enough to know this
and her parents say too young to act like it
It's all this little girl wants is to be her own age
Laugh, joke around, with her real friends
Act her age, because she's old with a young face
Crow's feet when she smiles
Hands that shake when she's got emotion
Little girl is old enough to know what she wants, and still knows
what is GOOD for her
Knows what is safe
and young enough to not care anyway

I let myself
Slip away
Softly
Gracefully
Eternally

Maybe fate
is a woman
and that's why
we bury the dead
with flowers