salt water ocean
chips in a bag, float nearby
gently, the shore chokes

Two dollars says your sorry but im paying for the check
Living in regret darling,
I love to watch you sweat
I'll be nice.

You try to stare right through me
But I wear a good disguise
You're trying not to use me
But you haven't got the time
To play nice.

I admit the ground I'm standing on
is shaky, babe, at best
Troubles in the back, weighed down
sloppy but compressed.
Blew a chance three times
our heads float in the clouds
we get by,
we got by.

Inhale 
Smoke out
see me shut down
Pull me
Away 
Cliche cliche 
burnout breakdown
Power nap
still sound 
Silhouette of body dawns
On me 
In me 
Fair game
Fairer skin 
stroking softly
Softer 
Gently
Meant it

Arrived late to the early bird special for the heavens of my mind
I'm a hard boiled egg in a soft shell crab waiting to be swallowed by a ***** swamp filled with ugly crocodiles in the same vein  at the same time 

Looking for a broader spectrum of potential unknowing whispers 
whispered a sweet something about a whole lot of maybes in my ear lobe.
Caterpillars sing songs to September 
slowly crawling back in time encouraging a butterfly of memories 
where two left winged hearts collided making supper with our doubts 
about unconcious recollections where we are mapping out the signs of new breakfast and bedrooms.

Investigate the vacancies of hearts you wish to keep with an open ended pitch of the other ones who seek you out.
Heart's for rent here
Who's the last tenant that moved out? Blur kaleidoscope of old addresses with similar layouts 
Because you're looking for French bathtubs in old Victorians 
And with the right selling line 
It's just a vintage room lined with dusty curtains and a sunroof with penetrated ceilings 
A character of wills you say,
blueprint of rented feelings.

Stir a cocktail of shock waves 
from stone cold realizations
while i mull steadily on my unsure 
recollection of what you meant when you said I'm the best thing
you've found in a long time. 
But that's just a new line
you've heard wiser men say
So you say it without hesitation and
make earlier reservations.

God, this could take an hour 
Or a second if your patient 
Adapt to different payments
Unusual affective statements
Encase it in sarcastic shell
crack it by the cases
Sew it at the seams make sure 
I seem real sure of your supposed
intentions.

The midnight sky kisses the rooftops
as i stroll under the moon
busy cars whirling around me
splashing sounds of time in bloom
the promise of tomorrow dawns
only a dozen moments away  
here under a blanketed midnight's sunset
I can see the stars at play

Sing me a song of new beginnings, will you?
hum me a tune of autumns past
paint me a tiny glimpse of wonder
Ill be sure to make it last
give me the graciousness of sunrise as it
waltzes with the clouds
Ill take a moment of forever
if you give it to me now

Show me the mystery of beauty found
cemented in dirt of city streets
grant me patience for the melting of
my heart's frozen winter sheet
as I whisper to the moonlight of pain
shadowing bitter pasts
   send me a centerfold of peace tonight,
and the wisdom not to ask.

On the back porch of
my lover's mind, smoking cigs
drinking whiskey
just to pass the time
&
periodically tap
at his glass ceiling
to see if he's changed
his mind

I wake up every morning
With a pounding in my head
An echo in my mouth
No one in my bed
I go to sleep at night with help
From a liquid paradise
A savior made of grapes
Old dysphoric antichrist
The creaks above my bed
keep me paranoid
is it just the pipes?
Or is it something more...
My demons have escaped my mind  
They taunt me now
From up above
where down below
I'm just a child
Frightened by the unknown

The moonlight glows warm above us

as our shadows bury deep

my fingers grasp at cold earth and twigs

while your hair collects the leaves.

gravestones decorate an outdoor paradise

made of strangers and their grief

   and there you are, shining in the sun

the next day at the sea

our sin spots covered in electric blue

my bra, my scars, your attitude

and there you are in the middle of the water

as the waves find a path between your legs

wet from the spontaneity

that intoxicated us that day

I'm so sick of moving on
I'm so sick of figuring life out
and realizing I'm wrong
I don't want to die unfulfilled
I don't want to resort to taking  pills
I'm tired of wondering where all my love goes
From watching my friends die
From not letting go
And I wish I could participate
in the life that I'm living
Instead of laying in a bed of thoughts,
merely existing
I'm sick of rocking myself to sleep
Weak from the loneliness I feel most of the week
And I'm through with committing myself
just to move on
From falling in love so hard that I can't get back up
And kicking myself while I'm down
by indulging In sorrow
From saying " don't worry there's always tomorrow"
And I try to be optimistic
Patient and brave
I try to see each color in a sea of grey
Will I ever be happy?  
I ask myself often
Because all of these eggs in my basket are rotten
And the man that I love, well he must of forgotten
me
And I'm an idiot because I love too hard
And I love the wrong people
Im sick of building my own walls and
digging my own grave
Against a tower of pain locked
in an unsolvable maze
I'm through with this heavy head
Because I'm either deprived of sleep
Or forcing myself to pretend
that I need to go back to bed
I'm tired of feeling sorry for myself
my pride is truly my own hell
I've lit the matches, buried the hatchet
I'm ready to
melt

I can't feel bad for the man
who cripples himself
Tears his own heart out
Locks his body in a cage
And then blames other people
for making him that way.
It doesn't make sense to
coax you into recycling me
when you are going to
throw me out
either way

I wish I could tell everyone I love
how much I miss them
but I'm too immature
and I can't stand the rejection
of indifferent words.
So I just sit stationary, in my loneliness
staring out any windows
that will let me.

And I’m in a café alone
I look up
and in front of me
is a man sitting alone
facing the street
I can’t help but wonder:
Are you sad like me?
Would you like to put our empty together
and fill it with peace?

But I just stare rudely
while he calmly exists
it seems every person
is just how I imagine them to be
I tend towards half glass full,
luckily.

But I haven't a clue.

He exited the coffee shop
And will drift off of my mind
Until I read this again
And recall the time
I sat in a chair
Across from a man
I knew nothing about
But pretended I did