In the silt with the rot
Like such guilt shame begot

The grey black brown mud
Cakes and stains my mind
Finding purchase within me
******* the life into muck.

“**** it, let it burn”
Words whispered while
The man drowns in
Still waters.

And then I found myself atop the mountain
Overlooking the vastness of reality before me

The lung hale
The eye saw
The nose scent

But that cliff dropped away when my balance did sway
And the gall of gravity’s fall made small the world’s pall.
And the spit hit my bit lip and tongue ground grit.

And…
I don’t know how the future be
Or holds
But I’m eager to get over it
And see.

That power pole is leaning hard
It’s like the tilt of a dog’s head as it considers something.
Or the way she leans against my car
Or the way I bunch forward to lament her lean.

I can’t unsee that obtuse incline
I can’t internalize it less.
I hope that ******* pole falls.

Blood
******* blood staining my…
…shirt of ideals.
Falling from lips swollen with
…Excitement…
Masticating the fleshy arguments of
**** poetry elites
Is as messy as defecating on
The memory of the fake God.

Knives and nukes dropped on
Wrists and books of your weak holy.
And the flavor….
Oh the flavor…..
Seasoned so liberally with those
Deliciously salty tears….

I can smell your blood from across the world
Wounded as you are.
There are the prey and there are the hunters
And there are the warriors.
I think your public weeping and snapping betray
Which of those three you embody

This is not gloating or a threat of violence
This is the statement of place.
Mind yours.

The sun and other stars shine dimly
Compared to the laser of your curiosity.

And I’ve felt that burning point on my skin,
That warmth building to unbearable heat.

Ultimately leaving my charred remains
In the smoldering pile of my failure.

And I would gladly burn alive for you
If it meant you were happy with me.

I still think of you when I wake up every morning
It’s been over a year and the ripples of pond stones
Tossed into my serene still bounce my boat thoughts
And it’s ******* pathetic to admit but I’m just so sad
That you’re not with me but I still see you all the time
You look happy, happier than me at the very least.

I got promoted, I’ll be traveling more now
I bought a motorcycle to go fast and have fun
I got into more rap and edm, horizons expanding
Life is do good right now, really good
But I feel exactly the same as I did the day I said
“I can’t do this”

I got promoted so you would see me
I bought a motorcycle to look cool to you
I got more into the music you like
I day dream about you saying “let’s try again”

And how ******* pathetic is that?
You never loved me
I was a place you’d go to When the man you loved
Was ******* his other girlfriends in your bed.
And you pretended you didn’t care
As if I could fill that painful hole for you.