Looking down
I don’t think
I just do

Looking up
I don’t think
I just do

Jumping down
I don’t think
I just do

Falling down
I don’t think
I’m just through.

My mom
Is music
watching Gilmore girls with takeout thai food
and comfort

My Dad
Is loudness
Uncontrollable anger
And reluctant love

My cat
Is laying in bed with me when I cry
Stealing my food
And making me laugh even when I don't want to

My friends
Are eating orange peels
Singing let it go as loud as we can at 2am
And walking at 11pm to Walgreens

My extended family
Is 13 hour plane rides
Friday night dinners
And having ice cream on the balcony

My feelings are rain
Pouring down
Messing up plans
Gloomy things they are
The raindrops build
Coming together
More and more
Until they start to flood the city of my mind
And then I write
And it's like suddenly
A sewer has appeared

You change in the snap of a finger
you give pain
with your stinger
you can't see the pain
why can't you see

No one listened to her
When it was her turn to talk
So I look her in the eyes and say
"I'm listening"
And I wasn't kidding

Alarm bells are ringing
Red flags are flailing.
Impending danger.
Hysterical behavior.

Is this the time to run and hide, Or stand up and fight.

Footsteps are approaching. Paranoia know escaping.

Your heart is pounding.
Adrenalin is raging.
My chest is restricting.
My pace is quickening.

The memories are flickering.
The torment is deafening.

Unable to speak now.
Unable to breathe.

Triggering and trickery,
Cheated my years

Fighting to relinquish My deepest fears.