Hold a bible so close cause I know where I've been.
They say go invest in souls but some souls have rewrote there ends.
Some words spill and you see the hurt and my mom did have me birth and my sister have been right to choke, when tears come who's laughing now you shouldn't smoke cause you won't come down and I know what she did to us but what she did for us makes me sit awhile...say yes mam I haven't ate you did come thru when my daddy didn't. When I think I think it's really foolish to fight family over years that's distant am I indecisive oh no just wait a minute it's pain when it comes to this.

"We need each other like the world needs a God", to tell the truth stop the lies.

When you see the rejection coming  you just sit before they even push you down.

While I sit I focus on the wind that flows threw the ****** grass, many faces around me but I smile to the one that stands in shock as they take knife out I look to the heavens.

I was young but now I am old but never have I seen the righteous forsaken.
You will never leave me so you seen my mistakes friend,
I need you bad
I need your help
This world wants me with cash
But selling my soul is like I don't any part of you.
One day they will **** me cause I stood up for the truth,
But now at this moment I'm struggling to stand threw my lustful youth.
If I was being real with my self I've failed you,
I need your Love I need your rod I ...I need you!!

When I look at myself in the mirror i think why is this so hard?
Those brown eyes have seen a lot..
My hands are ***** and my skin is tough from  peoples remarks and actions I've done in the dark.
my heart hurts cause i believe sin is real to live in it the ownere ask for monthly pay and title it "a vacant spot".
I see love there and i wanna change the world, all this knowledge keeps me from harm but what if I'm harming myself?
I swear this life can be so hard when you actually see what's in the mirror and besst thing about it is I'm not getting any younger...

Take the  focus off myself and place it on you, the vision is so awesome how you blow threw the trees if i could put the wind in another word of reflection it will be passion.

Stars are to bright for the night but what happens in the morning?
I'm Feeling like they do not care about Family..
Benjamin Washington feeling like dead men are talking.

All of these babies,
All of these  bodies are dropping!
Think about Fame and It's glory
Losing your soul for injections
Losing your soul for Jet then
Losing your Soul for Eternity
but how do you ****** me in *******?
Slaves to *** looks undeserving
A pen without ink they are all empty.

Why am I playing with you?
No I'm not playing with you..
Can't you see there just  playing with you..

They Will **** me just for loving to tell you the truth,
If you know please just tell me
why are you playing to lose?

Whats all that talking?
Guess I'm just bugging.
I'm Feeling the weight of my Future  I'm benching the Future I'm guessing..

Sitting Behind Me,
I can't remember the past if you let me I can stay in the chapter when I'm walking back to that story.
Insect in my mind whats all that talking?!
guess I'm just bugging..
Guess I'm just bugging..
I need to start trusting...
I need love to calming down from complaining..
I'm sitting right Next to Heaven with no keys it's Like sexting...
Freeing Me From Myself, God opens Doors I can't so please don't ask me.
I'm asking you to pray for me...I'll pray for you..End of Story.

Killed the bug but isn't it funny  that was my only friend on earth Ha..Guess I'm just bugging.
amen.

Have I created my Fate?
A destiny without  you is truly nothing...
Is there a war Without pain?
No, So I truly believe In Loving..
What is the Weight Of Glory?
Is There a Man who can bench the ways of his Life in the Deeds he has done Good, Bad and the Ugly?

Every night I feel the weight of What I done cause i search my heart.
Every  morning Seems Like a New beginning even though I'm Undeserving to my thoughts.
What is Hell to The holy nothing but a place that you warn people about so they can know it's another place to go.
What is Heaven to a atheist  nothing but Mere Image of a state of mind or somewhere I really don't know.

I was that atheist and I was the Holy it's just better to know that I didn't make the sky and under it I'm not the only...

If there is a will there's a way where there is a way you will be okay.
The night don't last forever only if you let your choices and your demons bring you to condemnation,
But there's no condemnation who's in The Lord.
Watch what you make God it will be the same thing that will save you from your self.
This is not for the religious cause I'm not your thoughts or a pastor just motivating why you do what you do before the actions...
Sleep in peace so you can rest when the world fill backwards

I'm at point where my fingers are tired of satisfaction,
The thoughts in my room cover the air like mist in the bathroom when you taking a shower.
What's life without hardwork?

It's been long oh a long time coming,
But I know
Ima make it one day pull up at your job and put a smile on your face...
..Smile on your face!
Make sure you ain't giving up on me cause soon I'll be saying
"Do you see me now"?
Do you..?

Where do you go when your love is being compromise?
Next to a digital world that makes you fantasize.
Kissess from a industry that dosen't help you fight
I'm below cement when it comes to what's right..
I need the stars at night to show me there's still light and hope in the sky
I need a sun so I can wake up to a fresh start.
Leave a world full of me and say

It's been long oh a long time coming,
But I know
Ima make it one day pull up at your job and put a smile on your face...
..Smile on your face!
Make sure you ain't giving up on me cause soon I'll be saying
"Do you see me now"?
Do you see me now?

I feel like i keep doing the same thing over and over
and its over again..
too much time in my room I'm losing my soul i guess I'm going threw it again.
Man this Life just don't excite me
without Love this life...
It's..
It's.....Nothing.

Here I am and there i go
to be the king of the hill one day it only takes one person to push you off.
I don't understand life when it comes to this
How can a friend  become your nemesis?
I'm trying but i just can't see the love in this and yet i go just to see how i can stay on that hill again.
It's already dead when your finding out the evidence,
forget what i said when i said " I'll do this again".....
THEY DON'T WANT TO TALK WHY WOULD YOU WANT TO BE MY IRRELEVANCE?!

....It hurts to know that they don't really care about even when they care about you my friend.

..I just don't get it

Do you see elephants?
Whatever you do don't think about elephants!
Sense were talking about them, can I speak to the ones that's in the room?
Don't talk about this cause it might become true..
What's new under the sun but mens faces to society?
Where am I going with this?
Your asking to many questions...
Stop looking out of the curtains
Stay inside the prescriptions
For if you pop Molly you will never have to think about life lessons.
Wait...did you see the elephants?
No...
I'm finding out there in my head again

All alone
Laying there not knowing I wanna be your bestfriend.
But I can't if you don't let me..
Yes I'm weird
Yes I stare
Yes I'm the only one who stare at you then look away like I don't care.
But I do but you don't wait ...do you?
Man I don't know if this is desire or lust
Smiles or sarcasm..
Do you wanna be my friend like I want to be yours?
..Do you

I can't lie to you,
I'm a messed up guy
Weak but strong
Trustworthy sack of ****.

Sing to let my feels out of my home
And I will never let them back in cause I've been kicking myself out sense day one.

I can't smile at everybody it's something I learned but everybody deserves to be loved including the enemies that was there on day one.

who am I?

Like a grain of sand on the shore?
Or the waves that holds it's Course?

Who am I?

The man I choose to be?
Or am I possessed by Love and it's Deeds?

Who am I to Speak?

With the worst past ever,
to speak in the presence of a Holy Endevor..

Who am I to Walk?

Down The streets of Gold,
Or the Ghetto where the Smile a kid touches me like soft petals.

I'm great full for who i am and whatever reason i was made..to know that is there is a Creator who loves me is better on the days that i feel like dirt.

But whatever reason i live when i remember of what you have made I consider myself and for that i praise

Never had a Little Brother but you are the closest
i can't treat you like a friend i feel like Oprah "Where are they Now"?
Do I Love to much?
Yeah did you notice?

I look around and I wonder why I stay grounded the roots in me comes threw ceiling rather then the earth that's full killing that's full women that men disrespect for a couple minutes just to get a visa she's called a dog and other words that cause attention I never pay attention to the worldly views that they say facts but moving on I'm hearing that were victims in all of this the gansters drug dealers and politics are the same thing just acknowledge it,
The government is the government I'm never condemning this or condemning men if I throw my stones then I get hit by big ones that don't make no sense it don't make no sense just to talk about and not pray for it. So I bow down in action
And look threw the heavens.
To the holy fire  and thank him.
Cause we need him more then we need a vacation.
Hope actions speak louder then sentence..

Can we last threw the winter?
why do they act so distant to me?
It Must be Better to suffer
I can't remember the Love that you gave to me.
this body already saying
" Why do you still talk when they don't respond?"
But if we last threw the winter I swear to you now I won't Go!

Congratulations
Go Home Now

Will we last threw the Summer?
why do i make a big scene?
why do you talk so simple?
This body is already broken,
I don't like to remember these things.
this body already saying
"What if you just stay threw the month"?
but if we last threw the summer i swear to you now I will Call!

Congratulations
Go Home now..

It's to Late!
It's to late!
they all let go
I fell off Five footsteps threw that open door!
Open Door!

It must buried under my heart that makes this place consistent,
To find new smiles
new hearts and new wonders..
...I've been wondering....what if i would ignore you like you do to my love?

You said 'I heard your new song".

Well congratulations..
Go home now.

i started doing what you done
but i'm dying to love
I'm dying to Love.

Where should i begin?
Losing my Ego I see how the Birds fly threw the wind.
Where should I start?
Winning my Joy threw the Days where i thought my Mind wouldn't Mind to be Mindful.

When I say i think to much take it as a compliment Cause i think of you with excellence.
I tried to be perfect  but threw the past mirror the only thing that reflects is imperfection.
And thats when i think of your tears threw the night, who am i to hold you in mind  and all i see is your smile and I'm.....I'm Thankful.

I never said I wait but then I never left your side
until you never came and I waited for hundred nights to see your face infront of mine.
This city is full of crime and so I bounce on Pelly side to free my mind.
A letter from west medows left me on the ground for a Good time.
Some come as brothers I hope they know I take that serious to my time.
But as I see we're running out of time I'm moving again and I'm leaving some people behind,
Yet I say I will come in the night and watch threw my window and pull up at a unknown time just to see if there's anyone in Baytown that cares for a ride...
Not just to be picked but to keep in contact in this thing called life.
I never said I wait and yet I'm right here by your side.
If I came back would you be down to ride?

It's cold out here
The reaper in my ear say I know.
I see all my fears
Commiting suicide on the low.
My body feels like tears.
So It drips on life's cheeks cause the road I know...
Off to the new old tricks they perform.
Lighting the excitement but pushing the Realest out of door,
Most of the people won't help cause you know...it's cold out here.

Losing sight for the site losing hope but some don't mind.
Chasing copper and that frabric let's be perfect pay for plastic I look like Barbie but I'm breathing longer parts I hope in me she's gunna be satisfied...

What's next a heart of dirt and still live?
This ain't life so I pray for my kids that will live better in the new life the eternal gives.

It's like a vampire ******* you,
Draining your ideas
Draining the Dreams your mind gives you.
It's like a dog sniffing you.
Don't know if it bites
Don't know if it likes you.
It's like a *******
I was here to excite you
But I was never here to comfort you.
It's like a old magician.
The smile and they say "Ta-Da"!
But walks away and say fools..

So much example not enough words,
A cancer dying of cancer that's worse on worse dirt on a rat or guy looking up skirts with his mom and wife saying please stop doing that.

I needed healing from that
I needed kick to the "perks"
Couple of bruise will show you
Dang lust kills when love only hurts

I understand that I been chose
I understand to be and not to exist anymore.
Hundred billion people in the world and my spirit came to this body  all the tears I cryed all the foolish things I have done counted worthy...
...to do in this life.

Friends what is the definition?
I feel the warmth of my mom but only in a sacrificial position.
They have been hear longer
Longer then my old scars of tension.

I never thrown away there love even in my early teen dispensation,
Well once cause it felt like the love was religious but now I get it or do I?

I'm scared to get it and not understand why people walk out my life! When is this thing called life gunna end? But am I worthy to step in that realm yet?
No cause I still want to live and figure out what love really is ....
Is rejection a face of it?
Compassion on your enemy the speech of it?
Your best friend leaving you in the street to die now becareful of him?!
Or what about the time where the world turned there back on you because of your own actions and you can't say nothing else about it..?

Ladies and gentlemen these are the faces of love Cause I'm still here and as the rain on my window shade drips on the grass in the dirt, I grow from my mistakes, this love,  my hurt.

I took the pain that I flick on myself,
When you take the pain of your enemy then that's another something else...
And that I worship and praise who knows maybe all these things will bring me to that place.

Run Like it's Coming
Run Cause it's Coming ya..
Run For the Purpose
Run to the purpose Ya..

Kisses like fragrance they leave a scent on my cheek
For hours and Hours our words expires until our hearts intimately speak
It's a Good Night when I know your Falling back in love with me.

I just feel Im making effort
But I don't have all of the answers
I can't lie I don't have it all together okay..
So Here I am sitting in my *****
Doing things I said I wouldn't
Don't be alarm if I just sleep in today..
When  I'm away they say they miss me
When I'm there they sit but ignore me
I look around and say what is happening?

I give up on trying make things happen
Text me nie my heart is breaking up my friend..
I'm losing connection again

"And they shall see his face; and his name shall be in their foreheads."

Witches are there spells
Like liars are there tales

I can't lie to you and I can't decieve.
Casting my lying words on you can't even reach my tongue to speak.

Over every word I know one day I will behold the weight of a my tongue like cold dripping rain running threw my tears as I have prayed and said forgive me each day.

My body is dying everyday the breath I breath is the only thing that secure the intimate part of me...
..like underwear.

Under the wretched man I be,
I run so far away just to see I wanna be closer then blood in vains...

Crucify the earth that's in me,
I'll suffer for the Glory that made me..
I will Sacrifice the things that chains me.
Hell is coming only because heaven is descending
Renewing my mind cause I'm waiting to see you.
My demons tell me he's not coming for you and he can't save you!
And I look back at them and say
"Revelation 22 :4 The Lord rebuke you."

It's scares me that i think of you to much,
gotta new generation but i know it got a "but" and a "well"
and "your thinking to much".
am I thinking to much?
I'm not thinking enough.
according to the ones that's never thinking of...well..umm..
But you can't just walk out?!
okay..I'm thinking to much..am I thinking to much?
HAHAH ***
i hate when people walk out that i thought was suppose to mess things up
but they actually help you and clean you up before they fall in oblivious Love...
but then you realize....
I hate messing things up,
and It's to late I'm falling in Oblivion's Love.

Life has given me a spacebar,
why not control and Delete?
This War is like a Self war,
I'm Fighting myself and we....I and Me is getting cornered by the ESC..
but i have found the word escape
all i wanna do is escape.
but me keeps talking like its too late.

To  know i have to keep a smile on my face is getting really Tab and Shift just a lot of yelling and then Dip..
if you didn't get my drift.
i'll be the type writer on the lowkey!
God be the hands that control
I don't know me but you know I and Me has given up on myself cause i
keep typing restart.

I want the person to wake me up at 4 clock talking bout..
"I'm in love with you".

I want the world to end cause I know after this I have judgement.
You holding my hand is like my patience.
I can't lie I want to hold somebodies heart and when I step in a room they can't stand up.
A frown can't help but break up,
Cause I got keys that I tryed unlock my secrets that I only told the one that was up at 4 o clock.
Is that too much I'm too much I'm so in love with you and I haven't even met you love.
Turn on the water I got the soap.
We can get clean just by being honest and dipping our heads under and letting truth soak.
I know it's 4 o clock but who cares.
Your ready for it all to end but embrace time cause it's not broke.
Hugging you then you hold on tighter then the most.
I think about all this but I think about who don't.

I miss you is related to I love you and you know them well,
My life is like a yell I'm sorry I can't turn it down!
That's why my fragrance is whispers cause they gotta certain smell.
And yet I went today once again to the place where you said....oh Nevermind here I am I know full well.
I get right here and I'm always fully down,
Even when you don't show! Am I under a spell?
Am I DECIEVED?
Why am I like this?
To love like I'm zealous...my bad I was feeling myself.
I'm sorry I'm the worst when it comes to hell.
That's why praise the one in heaven cause his love is unconditional ..wait?

How did I get to this realm? Screaming, God..hell?
Have you ever had sweet intervention with yourself?

I know who's I am but I don't know why I am

I'm in my deepest parts of my mind,
For 20 years I have seen foot prints broken thoughts that die.
Follow your dreams they say but if we were doing that what about the nightmares of the brain?
See A thought just broke again..
Picking up the pieces in a day-dream
I look for lust like a smokers offspring.
I know it's bad for me to "smoke" but when I put it down the world stresses me out and I go back to the relaxation of coughing.
If that makes sense
I'm addicted to having a bad habit to love,
And your heart gets broken all you want is to light up a good ol "lusting"
Knowing that it's temporary so is *******,
But I won't stop I need to love for I need loving!
Rehab is the only choice I'm breaking thoughts if I'm not I'm "smoking".
God ..
Help..
Me..

Let's see if I have the strength to write this.
Tripped by commas and periods that stop.
I feel like a run on sentence that's rooted like crop.
How can a man go from questioning questions but knowing the answer and still get lost?
Is it possible that I need saving every second of the clock?
It's timeless to love but love times the watch so watch how you love this time..
It will be wrapped up in eternitys mind.
And yet I say and fall and don't say much,
But even silence is saying a lot.

When I love to love it seems like people stay back,
Mind been tripping over silly wishes I think I broke my back.
That's why things are to hard to carry in these hours that we suffered threw the past.
It's not that better when desires drown in lustful damped rags.
I need help oh I need help even my hobby dripping like wax..
..bored of shooting bored of moving to a place that faces don't stay to laugh,
Brother where are you?
Still my new friends is my mom and dad,
Nothing wrong nothing wrong  my love I thank you for all of that.
Someone need me someone loves me enough so my love I'll hold fast.
For those that come and for those who will come back.

I deceive so many
Like a penny on the ground what would they try to buy with me?
I'm entangle like the Girl that's From Disney.

I was trapped with a thought would just keep on singing
"I know Best"
3 years now and i look down at the mess.
ashes
ashes
I can't keep High for that almost took my life
I'm not safe no where,
I just wanna
I just wanna get out here.
Cut the thoughts cut the actions and just Go there.
wanna See My Father!
wanna Meet New Promise!

I believe The Greatest thing that God has given Us Is Forgiveness.
If we didn't have it....it will be Very..Very.. Unforgiving.
I don't know...Just thinking.

Miss me when I'm gone,
I love the way i lie just to dance to a song and a rythem that i know that's going to lead me a place unknown..well i know..who know where i go?

I'm getting better at this even if it don't look like it,
one day I'll be gone in Cloud Thanking Him in the Sky for the.... Forgive me Lord I know I Lie when  I lay down with my thoughts
Too much "Lets go back to what i was".

All i can think about at night is how much is the cost of Flight?
Freedom from myself will be the greatest Sky i ever known..
Greatest rest that i ever known
greatest test that  life has ever thrown
Hope i make it till he call me home.

Miss me
Miss me now i wanna kiss me
Missing Missing now i wanna **** me
before the end of it all pray tonight i won't lie.
hope my actions pay off.

I'm a Fool
I'm Dripping like Gold........you know
It's Getting harder to love me...again
cause when you move like that,
away from me.
My mind plays tricks on me,
and I drip like Gold....you know.
Now why I told you the truth,
cause i thought it would make us closer
when it only made you hate me..

...Happy Valentine's Day

Say My Name
Say my name
but you won't cause you always playing games

with a lame
with a  lame
I should of known
(i should of known)

You the type to low blow somebody.
let a real real go to waste somebody.
Baby you're the only lying somebody.
When i throw you out you better Have somebody!

Tell your "Friends"
to come again
He left his Watch and I..

Saw The text
I know that's Him
and no i really don't mind..

Cause tonight
I'm moving on
thats right i'm moving on.

I keep trying to find a life on my own apart from you.

I am the king of excuses, I got one for every selfish thing I do.

What's going on inside of me, I despise my own behavior.

The disease it self runs threw my blood it's a cancer fatal to my soul.

Every damnation has been my own wealth, to bring your resurrection I live.

I wanna be in the light as you are in the light I wanna shine like the stars in the heavens oh lord be my light and my salvation cages all I want to be is in the light .

I'm getting on my own nerves,
Me iggy threw the vains where my feelings and my understanding flirts.
The second I do I really don't want,
When I speak to them they just really seems like hate to talk..
But what am I talking about I'm confused my own brain into thinking.
I want what I want but really I need conviction & love something to keep me on my feet everyday.

I will change for you,
Oh my God i just can't help it.
Staring at you.
Fireworks and mini rockets
burst when i touched your hand..
Oh My God i almost Lost it.
I looked up to the Great I AM..and Said.
My wife her smile someday My God am i her equal?
I'm a problem for myself,
Sometimes i think of you and melt and then i think man oh man i'ma mess.
i just wish
i just wish
for someone to come and knock me off my feet.
Easy to say when your women, but hard when your Man.
I wanna lay down play with her
Read and pray and maybe burst
into the tears make a hard day look simple when she touch.
and we ain't getting younger..
and I'm not getting younger..

Chapter 20

I have learned so much about my skin,
how it rolls at night just to get some sleep.

taking a check that i now know that i can stand,
Music that drown those dry nights with Unwanted things.

How these eyes saw how friends come and go and i go and come to see them stay only for One..night..wait,
thats what i call one night stand friend.

learning that Enemies are good so you can see who they are when they walk up you don't reform yourself that they are not friends.

Chapter 20 page four of Ten.

Remember the Day you first walk? Or the Day some kid pushed you off the swing and told you how  he felt about you on the play ground?
Remember the day you passed that test that you thought you wasn't going to pass? Or That teacher that never believed in you?
Can you Understand and weight Glory? Can you Stand under the Fact that all these Things Make you who the person you are today?
Actions despise that day but it was actions that you made.. that saved you that day..
Those are like Lighter then air cause we reached greater then the words they thought we was, and they are Thicker then blood cause the pain is so deep but some how it brings breath to those Pure ambitions.

Is it gold that stole my eyes?
Is it Silver that my Legs run to?
or  is it the Diamond that makes my heart blaze..

NO For these are still materlial even if my wife says "i thought you gave me this for eternal we will forever be, Isn't that what you meant?"

On that Day i will look at her and say even if theses things weren't Manifested By God would it stop you from being my Wife my Friend the Love of my Life?

and as she sums up the Pride and Humble together she will say "Well Here Take the ring back what are you trying to say..?
Then I will tell her like I told My daughter like I will tell my son like i told my Friends..

"For it is Love that makes us rich and how much you can love your enemy and Bless those who spit and curse and Nag on you will make you rich forever."
Some of these words were not my own for it was a ancient Man who loved me so much that he died to show me and Now i know..

LOVE is better then riches
and Silver and gold is only but a reflection to its Light and Beauty.

Randomly typing my head won't stop thinking of words that i try to stop and i can't i write am i right to write you something that i just might ...Hate to say in peoples eyes?
to say I want you bad but everytime i'm with you theres something that happens tragic ..
or I can't let you go but your to far away sometimes i think your just stringing me on until i see the tears you cry...or..
I'm done with him.. the man in the mirro is the worst frined i ever had but he always helps threw theses kinda answers to life.
and...and to tell you the truth i think these are not poems at all but its a expression that helps me move feelings aside and with or for that i think thats why i write.

Too Close to let you go too far to see you leave.
Hate to see you go but i wonder if you would ever come back to me..
But why Just for a Friendly Hi or Hug that i desperately Need?
I've been thinking that i really just need to leave..My escape didn't work forever i will be Free, bound by nothing Sometimes Don't give you a shoulder to cry on.
And My God I miss the way you sarcastically said things and I..remember the day you came without shoes to my house and we had a glass cup and i drunk Sparkling water like wine.
I'm writing this i don't know why, I'm scared not because you were wrong but because I'm maybe right when i say.

what will it change? to see you and how bad is the bump on my head to have another dream of you? and where do i go from here? and ..i just gotta ..I just gotta..Leave with or without you.

Here I am breathing again,
Walking narrow will sometimes trip you forward.
The love I have is reasonable but the questions sometimes..rehtorical.