Love?
Thought I felt it yet it fled away.
I question it now.
What do I love?
I love my family,
I love my friends.
But what of that other love?
The fairy tale one which I believe I've never partaken in.
But when I hold you,
You say "love me".
I give you the biggest squeeze and agree.
All the love I need is in your arms,
Your laugh,
Your smile,
I may not be "in love" but I feel closer than ever before.
I love that kinda love.

Staying cool,
In my corner,
Away from it all,
In my corner.
Playing with myself,
In the corner.

Forced myself here,
Trapped in a space.
Walls collapsing,
Staying in one place,
Never moving,
Such disgrace.

Can't believe,
I got myself here,
Purposely so I,
Could grow a beard.
Can't tell me to shave it,
Cause no one is near.

Alone with,
My half empty glasses.
Drank the good half,
Along with the masses.
Now we all sit divided,
In our own sanctioned classes.

Staying cool,
In my corner,
Away from it all,
In my corner.
Playing with myself,
In the corner.

Perception is quite deceptive,
As hollow eyes view us all.
Judged on a single detail,
Drive-by at the mall.
So stare back to the attacker,
Tell them to fall.

I open my mouth,
To scare the tourists away.
Don't need admirers,
Getting in my way.
For I have a picture pinned to my corner,
Which keeps my eyes at bay.

Lost in chances of happiness,
I call out your name.
Attracting a hoard of others,
Who want to play my game.
Two players only!
This seat is for my friend not so sane.

But like me...same.

Test test,
Do your best,
Forced to school,
To pass the test.

Test test,
Our school is the best,
Give us money now,
We beat the rest.

Test test,
Students never rest,
Killed them with anxiety,
They cried in distress.

Test test,
You all left the nest,
So you could pass,
Everyone of those pointless tests.

Test test,
What a mess.
Kids that don't pass?
We'll give' em ISS.

Test test,
Got it East to West,
From the CAT to the MCAS,
There is no rest.

Test test,
What a pest.
They're never happy,
Until we all have failed the test.

Cracked skull,
Broken bones,
Dead man,
Gone home.

Died here,
Never cared,
Sinned for pleasure,
Somewhere.

Had no one,
Died alone,
Dead man,
No one home.

Not a clue,
Who he was,
No one cared,
He was on drugs.

Empty life,
Where did he go?
Left this place,
So he could roam.

Dug his grave,
At sunrise,
Beautiful day,
No one cried.

How can I make a move,
When I don't know where the ground is?
Jumping into darkness into the unseen.
Hate that I wait here,
Waiting for light.
Color a pathway,
A bridge through the night.
Unsure of the kiss,
I knew I would miss,
If I didn't get the hint.
But being scared of the dark,
Has never payed off.
A torch, a lamp, a nightlight please.
Take me to a place unseen.

Knowing sadness,
It is easily done.

To live life in the grayest shade,
To have removed the pleasure of fun.

Anyone can see it,
As you lay your head down.

Surrendered to sorrow,
Sad songs are so renown.

Others will fire questions,
Though you assume they are far off.

Dart boards made of water,
Can never hold back the darts.

No idea what is wrong,
You swear you were smiling the whole time.

Why does everything feel so wrong,
What paused the song on which you rely?

Why not take chair?
No the floor is nicer!
Living by constants,
Your lower brings me higher.

Always taking,
The biggest seat in the room.
Not the broken velvet chair,
But the open space on the ground!

Can't help myself,
Wanna stay close to my mother.
Hold her hand in mine,
Hide behind her from strangers.

Hate the trapping desks,
Hands on throat they choke me out.
Collared shirts buttoned up,
Always seem make me go nuts.

Sitting here in disconnect,
Phone away from home.
Singing songs to myself,
What more could I ask for?

What's the matter?

I always hear my mind scream,
Saying words I only dream,
Nightmares of truth keep the seam clean,
Infections on the surface burned by sunbeams.

What's the matter?

Thoughts of doubt crawl into my head,
Thoughts impregnate each other in the bed,
Making me regret all the words I've said,
Making me notice the cuts and all the red I've bled.

What's the matter?

Why the **** does my mind want to know!?
My mind is my mind not a dumb ***,
It should know how I feel and manipulate the dough,
Easily molded yet so hard to throw.

What's the matter?

She asked so politely with concern,
Looked at her through the darkness my stomach had turned.
Knew it was my time to speak as my eyes watered and burned,
Said "Nothing at all." with a friendly smile, to the one that I yearn.

Evil inside,
Canned worms.
Come and open me,
My faithful can opener.

Release my body's snakes,
(Which yes, they will grow)
Into the world,
So my pain is known.

Thrown into a thorn bush,
Just for the pleasure of touch.
Cuts across my left arm,
Sloppy kiss helped enough.

I want what you give,
Give me what you want.
Promise to keep it all.
Fruit will be left out till they rot.

Pet of pleasure,
Trained to preform.
Learned to love pain,
For that purpose I was born.

Angel snakes come out,
Pushed out of me.
Snakes that seek love,
Hunger for eggs will always set them free.

"Sit down, roll over,
Get down on all fours.
Open your mouth and **** me,
My little pet *****."

Waiting,
So patient,
Mind,
Complacent,
Wondering,
If I,
Should get,
The ball.

Threw it,
Down court,
For it,
Had burnt,
My hands.
They,
Held on,
Too long.

Where is,
The pass?
I,
Threw it last.
Why aren't you,
There,
Throwing back,
Our ball?

Can you,
Not share,
Or,
Don't you care?
Can we not,
Play,
This game,
For long?

I want,
The game to go,
So,
Don't say no.
Let's both be,
Happy,
Pass the ball back,
So we can have one.

Distracted I wander,
Following the wind as a parachute.
Gliding on the backs of others efforts.
High above the canape and their common roots.

My mind never settling,
Always thinking I've made a wrong turn.
Backtracking, backtracking , was I ever on track,
What track leads to what I yearn?

Curtains' numbers one, two, three, four,
Players play for prizes, hope not to get burned.
Got a bad deal, don't win the sports car?
Go home and buy a rope and raise some concern.

Someone goes to stop you,
Get what you want, by threats and scares.
Instability will only balance if naivety is company,
Show them the scars and burned hairs.

What's the right choice!?
I'm drowning in possibilities!
Past chances sail away,
As I sink to the bottom of the sea.

Hanging out,
Can't help to see,
What you left hanging out,
Was it for me?
Straps unstrapped,
Exposed thong,
Bending over,
Touching me all day long.
Don't know what to do with myself,
Used to mindlessly having *** all day,
Then you come into my life,
And I want to hear what you have to say.
Don't know where we stand,
So I sit on the floor.
Waiting for the day you mount me,
As for you I leave open my door.
Yes, you can come through,
At anytime you desire.
Because I know you like control,
So come and light me on fire.

Lacking emotions,
I take from those who feel.
A feeder of feelings,
Taking what is real.

A great man died,
Never met him in his life.
Yet come the end of his service,
I hold back tears in my eyes.

Everyone around me sad,
Remembering bittersweet memories.
As I stand there a stranger to their god,
Not knowing what life has in store for me.

Sad music plays,
And I try to see in the smoke,
The face a man or god,
Something to give me hope.

Hope that he is rewarded,
In their kingdom above.
As I take cues from the family,
Who gave that man all their love.

Leaving the service,
Holding the host in my hands.
No idea what to do with it,
Not knowing my plan.

Few there knew me,
Kid in red with long hair,
Stood by the grandsons,
The look on his face showed he really did care.

No clue on religion,
Or the story of the boy in the manger.
Rest In Peace,
From a stranger.

Bet you can't remember,
One year and two days ago.
Not the face of the boy,
You let into your home.

Met him that day,
Friend of a friend.
Hospitality swayed,
And you let me right in.

"What was his name?
I dunno but he made me smile.
Laughed all day,
And made out for a while.

Was an odd kid,
Always wore running shoes.
Said I was his first kiss,
I even whipped his **** out for a few."

O girl you have no idea,
How often you come to mind.
A memory of the past,
A happier moment in time.

Haven't spoken to you,
In one year and two days.
Though I tried twice,
That didn't get me further in your maze.

So now I am backtracking,
Eating crumbs off the floor.
I can't believe it's been one year and two days,
Since I've met that *****.

So hot in the stone walled algebra room.
Heat suffocates the students leaving us all confused.
Got so hot in there all I could do was rip out my hair.
Ripped it out chunk by chunk until it was all gone and I was bald.
But, but, but, still too hot.
Stripped to nothing I threw off all my cloths.
Sat at my desk naked and bald.
Now I am far too cold...

My silence,
A weapon,
Hurts,
Everyone.
People,
Always,
Ask me,
What is wrong.
But I,
Just,
Sit,
There.
My eyes,
Looking through,
My hair.
Into oblivion I stare.
My mind,
Is my company,
And I treat them,
Quite well.
All the others,
Question me,
Begging me,
To tell.
To tell what is wrong,
So that they might help me.
But what they don't know is,
In my mind I am as happy as can be.

What a surprise,
I'm waiting till sunrise.
A girl has my mind under lock and key,
Her presence like food, always fills me.

I'm pushing off others,
In hopes that I may catch this feather.
Elusive and electric, so hard to catch,
More than one hand reaches for this missing patch.

A patch to fill one's life,
Deepest cuts of love's knife,
Will make the pain worth it.
Music, love, happiness, I just want it all to fit.

I have my feelings posted,
Wanted adds for your love on every door step.
So please sign on that dotted line,
Then you can be only mine.

Sunday morning,
No work back in the day.
A day off for all,
For religion they say.

Sunday morning,
Better be up by eight,
Got a long day at the factory,
Gonna be back some time late.

Sunday morning,
Kids rushed to church.
Better pray for their savior,
A life a damnation would just be the worst.

Sunday morning,
Restless kids can't wait.
Candy in eggs everywhere,
Know not the meaning of the date.

Sunday morning,
Another day promised to the lord.
No working or business,
A break for the savior's hoard.

Sunday morning,
Just like all the rest.
Past promises broken,
Has heaven been booking rooms for less?

Sunday morning,
Said he died on the cross.
His followers say they are with him,
But they are all lost.

Little boy stands,
In his empty room.
He's got nothing to do,
'Cept to crawl back in the womb.

Stands by himself,
Not one person at his side.
Voices inside him speak,
But he'll always deny.

Denys that they're there,
Denys that he cares.
Denys the looks and stares,
Denys the cross he bears.

Bi-polar fish out of water,
Flops around his own life.
Makes his way to puddle of water,
To only find a puddle of knifes.

Cannon ***** in,
Happy and glad.
Sinks further in,
Submerged and mad.
  
Denys that they're there,
Denys that he cares.
Denys the looks and stares,
Denys the cross he bears.

Tries to swim out,
Cuts paint the scales.
Fish drowns in blood,
His own gills have failed.

Little boy stands,
Watches it bleed.
Takes the fish in his hands,
***** out the life he so desperately needs.

Denys that they're there,
Denys that he cares.
Denys the looks and stares,
Denys the cross he bears.

Fish guts and blood,
Pour into his mouth.
Eyes open wide,
Life headed south.

Finished he licks his lips,
And grins a big smile.
The boy's life now has meaning,
The meaning is his denial.

Denys that they're there,
Denys that he cares.
Denys the looks and stares,
Denys the cross he bears.

Denys the den eyes...

Printer sits in space,
Someone hit print to much.
Copies of people spew out,
True people loose touch.

Put on your North Face,
Slip on your UGGs.
Flirt with every ******* person,
Make fun of what you call bugs.

Coolest kid right?
Makes fun of those he doesn't get.
Threatens with violent words,
He'll get his way I bet.

A copy of a copy,
Popular in a house of mirrors.
Showing feelings isn't cool,
Mock the pioneers.  

Hate those copies,
Want them erased.
I'll go and break the printer,
That produces them in space.

Trying to reach the stars,
Rising rising and yet,
I am stopped by invisible bars.

Landlocked alone,
Clouds like curtains cut me off,
Chained to my home.

I see you and all of your grace,
Floating above the clouds,
Somewhere far out in space.

I fly forward with all my might,
Trying my best to get to,
This amazing sight.

But then the air stops me,
Holds me back from,
That which I need.

I push forward and forward till I begin to bleed.  
Can't break the barrier,
So I fall to the Earth as a seed.

Know what I want,
I want what I need,
But something blocks me from that which I see.

Sitting in the dark.
A screen of white in front.
Scrolling through page by page,
Reading every kind of font.
Eyes bloodshot,
Hunting for what I want.
The information spiderweb,
Has claimed another heart.
Searching for all the knowledge,
That I will ever need.
Read, read, read, the things others have wrote.
Who knows who made it, or who knows the notes.
Rocking back and forward typing all the words,
Barley looking at the screen now,
Just at my keyboard.
The dark hides the keys,
But my fingers know their way.
Playing the keys before me,
Mind spewing out words,
The lettered jacks dance,
Now you all know what I say.

I am mindless,
An animal used to enclosure.
Escapes traps,
Just to move in closer.

Out of one trap,
Onto the next.
Share my new room with rats,
I can get some rest.

A trap door in her room,
Leads to the basement.
Chains and shackles,
Imprison me for rent.

*******,
Forced to do what she wants.
I smirk so smugly,
As she acts out my own thoughts.

Who knows where it'll go,
But I'm enjoying the ride.
As my pain and past,
Are chained at my sides.

Drove half an hour,
To get to your home.
Waited for you to get back,
My nerves had begun to show.

How would your family like me?
Was your dad an ***?
Would it be awkward out of school?
Who would move fast?

Went on inside,
Father was very kind,
Sister was like you,
All of us out of our minds!

Played with your rats,
Even cleaned their cage.
Laughed the whole time with you,
Not even a year apart in age.

Relaxed on the couch,
My hands rested on your thighs.
Held you in my arms,
You are just the right size.

Called weird phone numbers,
Laughed the day away.
Listened to your record player,
To hear what Billy Idol had to say.

Sister called me a punk rocker,
Said I looked like a Ramone.
You said it was a complement,
I didn't feel so alone.

Made fun of my accent,
But liked the way I talked.
Looked so nice out,
We all went for a walk.

Trespassed onto a country club,
We chilled at one of the holes.
Goofed off for an hour,
Before we ran from the patrol.

Journeyed through the woods,
To get back home.
Thorn bushes cut up my right arm,
And got my hair quite combed.

Made it to an abandoned car,
She and I took a break.
Sat there in the car and laughed,
Until the end of the date.

My family had arrived,
And we went inside for my stuff.
A hug goodbye,
Would have been enough.

But you surprised me,
And grabbed onto my shoulders.
Leaned in for a kiss,
And she got what she asked for.

Grinning ear to ear,
I left with a "Goodbye".
Walked to the car,
Knowing I wanted her to be mine.

An arrow to the heart,
It hit the bull's eye.
Blind by cupid's arrow,
I can not deny.

I am tired of games,
Playing tricks,
Getting you closer to my ****.
I just want to run forward,
And mow down all,
In my way.
Doing everything I want,
Speeding by all the tolls,
Others pay.
I get my point across,
And you know I do it fast,
Get your feelings out now,
Before you are the past.
Tell it like it is,
Regret nothing you have said.
Speak when you can,
Tie up all the threads.
I'll get it off my chest,
Now get it off yours.
We'll be free like chickadees,
In the wide outdoors.
One way road,
And twenty cars behind.
Speed up buddy,
You are only wasting time.

Scream it out your lungs,
Until the ears are open wide.
Say everything at once,
Release your brain's bide.

You say,
I'm not,
A keeper.
No,
I just escaped,
Your trap.
You say,
I'll always,
Leave her,
Please,
Just cut,
The crap.
I escaped,
The bear,
Claw,
By gnawing,
Off,
My leg.
Breaking,
All the,
Laws,
You forced,
Me,
To say.
I hopped,
Away,
Alone,
With no,
Hope for,
This stray.
Bleeding,
To,
The bone,
Going out,
Of my,
Own way.
Pain,
Stricken,
Face,
Sweat,
Down to,
My chin.
My shadow,
Asked for,
A race,
And I,
Let him,
Win.
I fell,
Face,
First,
Into,
A pile,
Of past.
Seethed,
Through the,
Worst,
For a,
Love that,
Will last.

Pathetic,
That's what you are,
And always have been.

Little winy *****,
Who can cry on command,
Don't you know lying is a sin?

****** that I left you,
Thrashing in spite,
You shout to sky.

Dragging yourself down,
Showing me how I was right,
Screaming insults at the traffic that goes by.

I wonder why,
Or how you cannot let this go?
We are done.

Now I know,
You attention *****,
Anything to get me to run.

Make your insults child,
This is as far as you will get.
Because I know you are reading this.

Grow up child,
Actually move on,
Because it's you I don't miss.

Pumping iron,
Sweating blood,
Gritting teeth,
Plays in mud.

Macho man,
Athlete of space,
Needs to win,
Every race.

Loves his body,
Masturbates all night.
Looks straight in the mirror,
**** to his own sight.

Goes to the gym,
To wallow in sweat.
Work out, work out, work out,
NOT BIG ENOUGH YET.

Can't stand them,
We all call them jocks.
Self centered ignorant *****,
Wish they could **** their own *****.

Vulture fingers,
Scour the flesh.
Picking out flaws,
Not seeing the best.

Picking at the surface,
Finds everything wrong.
Won't look deeper,
Doesn't want to stay that long.

Scavenges through the skin,
Making blood gush out.
Tears in his eyes,
Mind full of doubt.

Who can love roadkill,
Picked to the bone?
Flies in his insides,
Making their new home.

Maggots in the eyelids,
Rotting to the brain.
Picked himself to pieces,
"We knew he was insane."

Vulture fingers devour,
Every single flaw.
Leaving a mutilated and infested corpse,
"Perfection" is what it's called.

Welcome to the city,
Watch the stars run away.
Welcome to civilization,
Hope you hate your stay.

Come here with dreams?
Leave with tears.
Learn the unknown,
Realize your fear.

Welcome to the city.
The stars have left us,
Why leave the city?
Don't like the bus?

Commercialism claims us all,
Throw pennies in the fountain.
They even have billboards,
On the highest mountains.

Hate the outside,
Rather be living in a cell?
Come down to the city,
"Can't believe it ain't Hell."

Welcome to the city,
The stars hide their face.
Turned backs to humanity,
With no hope of being saved.

Welcome to the city,
You fools won't get any pity.

You break my heart,
You move along,
And you are happy.

On to the next,
The next new best,
And you are happy.

You traded up,
I fell right down,
And you are happy.

Happy you were right,
Happy I was wrong.
Sad that you aren't tight,
Mad I saw your thong.

You conceited *****,
I built you up,
And you are happy.

Spread rumors like,
They're STDs,
And you are happy.

All of our love,
Been burned away,
And you are happy.

Happy you were right,
Happy I was wrong.
Sad that you aren't tight,
Mad I saw your thong.

See me with,
Someone new,
And you are happy.

Rose my fist,
Flipped you off,
And you are happy.

Called you a *****,
An open door,
And you are happy.

Happy you were right,
Happy I was wrong.
Sad that you aren't tight,
Mad I saw your thong.

Sad and alone,
All by yourself,
And you are happy.

Crying over,
Past memories,
And you are happy.

Cursed every,
Word you've said,
And you are happy.

Aren't you happy you were right?
I'm happy I was wrong.
Sad that you're even less tight?
Mad they all saw your thong?

Locked in the dark,
Dressed in fear,
Looks like Death,
Smells like a beer.

Chambers loaded,
Prisoners in cells.
Ready to die?
Do you hear the bells?

Fire out each one,
Into the man's chest.
Please smile when you do,
Give the man my best.

Chambers invented,
To hold them in.
Just to be released,
Into the wind.

Flying through the air,
Flying like they're free.
All a lie,
They follow straight line called destiny.

They will be nothing more,
Then killers in capture.
Kept inside the chambers,
Until comes the rapture.

Sixty-nine,
A number,
Of love.
But how can,
It mean the same,
Of that of a dove?
A number,
Is a number,
A bird is a bird,
Yet they are,
The same,
But not the same word.
How could each,
Mean love anyway?
Is love a disguised pigeon,
Or a number,
For play?
No, I might not,
Know what love is.
But I know it's more,
Then an answer,
On my math quiz.

I am alone,
Inside my head,
Inside my room,
Full of dead.

They cry and laugh,
And tell stories.
Listen to them,
Forget your worries.

Enter two more,
Unlike the others,
Alive, beautiful,
Born to be lovers.

Pick and chose,
Which one you want.
Present or future,
See what they got.

But be aware,
Present is unknown.
Future loves you already,
And my mind is blown.

The dead look to me,
Shrugging their shoulders.
"What am I doing here?"
Whispered the tired solider.  

I say I don't know,
And to my despair.
I realize I'll lose one,
If I don't care.

Guns guns guns,
See them everywhere.
Fun fun fun,
Labels them for stare.

Can't can't can't,
Stop the youth to want.
Pant pant pant,
Tired from my taunts.

Bam bam bam,
Any kind will do.
Sam Sam Sam,
Uncle Sam wants you.

Shoot shoot shoot,
Shoot them in your games.
Moot moot moot,
Not sure who are the names.

Guns guns guns,
I want to play!
Sons sons sons,
Play the American Way.

Who who who,
Who can help them?
You you you,
Cut them from stem!

Toys toys toys,
Brainwashing toys for your,
Boys boys boys,
Who like to break down doors.

War war war,
**** the enemy.
Tours tours tours,
Fun for you and me.

Can't help me, but please pass the bill,
I'll fix the world with my inspiration to ****.

Hate love, love hate,
Circle of Life.
I shrug my shoulders,
You hold the knife...

Overrated hatred,
Trying to drag me down.
******* are complaining,
Trying to make me frown.

All I can say,
Is all I can do.
****** get over it,
Your drama tore us in two.

Hating isn't right,
How could it be?
Emotions of love,
Is all that fills me.

I do not hate,
Doesn't mean I can't be annoyed.
Just like you can be grown up,
But still play with toys!

Overrated hatred,
Trying to drag me down.
******* are complaining,
Trying to make me frown.

All I can say,
Is all I can do.
****** get over it,
The drama is why I left you.

Call me cheat,
Preach that I'm a liar.
Keep dragging yourself down,
Because you're singing in the choir.

Why can't you just,
Go away.
Left you to leave you,
Not for you to stay.

Overrated hatred,
Trying to drag me down.
******* are complaining,
Trying to make me frown.

All I can say,
Is all I can do.
While you keep hating,
I'll find love unlike you.

Had a plan,
But that turned to sand.
Everything was in order,
Then out of the blue you crossed the border.

The border to my heart,
Where you shot your own darts.
Said that you had feelings for me,
Mostly based on what you have seen.

Asked if I am talking to anyone,
The talk of getting together with someone.
I said no although,
I did want some other girl so.

But does she like me back,
That question I am scared to attack.
Asking could destroy us,
Or maybe it will remove our rust.

But this girl who likes me,
A sure thing it could be.
I must really like the other,
If my mind won't take my lover.

I want her.
She wants me.
Does her want I?
Will I hurt she?

Do you even know,
How your touch warms my body?
Brings me to life for a second,
Only to be taken away.

Our last hug,
Not sure if you felt like me.
I didn't want to let go,
But my bus was here.

We flirt during the day?
I don't even know.
Is flirting a mutual thing,
Or am I just seeing what I want?

Our teacher teases us,
"Just go out already."
She made a face, that I couldn't see,
Her friend laughed at her or was it at me?

A face of hope, or of disbelief?
I want to know,
But if I ask her I worry.
What if I am just a friend...

I have been never good with feelings,
Fragile things they are.
I tend to emit easy ones like happiness,
But that's it, no hate, no sadness, no love.

I am warmed by your very touch.
I love when you play with my hair.
We have fun, I want more fun.
I want you. But how do I get you?

If you don't want me,
What will happen?
I like things now,
But I'll love them if I am with you.

I want you,
Want me.
Want us.

No clue,
Is what I have.
Yet I don't,
Since I don't know.

I wish I knew,
But I have no clue.
No clue about this,
No clue about you.

But if I have no clue,
Then don't I have one?
I have a clue,
That I have nothing at all.

Confused lost in a daze,
No clue how to get out of the maze.
But I must know I don't,
So is that a clue?

A clue that I don't have clue,
About not knowing what to do.
I have a clue about nothing,
Or can I just not remember everything?

I have no clue.

Justice isn't doing the right thing.
It's just about balancing the scale,
Between right and wrong.

He killed a man,
You know what to do.
Chamber to his head click click boom.

The scale must always be,
In a mutual state.
Who ever touches the scale will meet their fate.

Eye for an eye,
Who can argue with that.
Strike for strike, **** for ****, prepare to receive your bill.

You owe us many of things,
An arm, a leg, a wife, three fingers,
And everything else you took away.

If your life doesn't pay the toll.
We will simply carry the ones,
And take them from those who you love.

This is blind justice,
For how can it care.
It is a scale,
Libra is always fair.

The Gods don't blink,
The Gods don't turn away.
The Gods stare,
Turn on them and you shall pay.

They threaten us,
With laws that we trust.
Don't do what I say?
I'll throw your *** in hell.

Be good people,
And when you die,
I'll take you to a place,
Way up high.

Everyone is happy in the clouds.
Some enjoy eternal life,
Some are reborn,
And some have virgins to plow.

Are they all up there?
Living in peace?
Or will the Gods punish you,
For not believing their piece.

Doesn't seem that merciful,
Doesn't seem so nice.
You don't believe me,
And you'll burn from the cold ice!

A God who does that,
Is no God of mine.
I am my own God,
The Kingdom of Heaven is in my mind.

I am an animal,
Housed inside my cage.
Poked with sticks for sixteen years,
And will still be when I am of age.

Caged inside my body,
Chained to my throbbing heart.
The key hangs from the dark ceiling,
If I ever want to start.

I am an animal,
Though my head is always smart.
Take the key and leave,
Will insure the destruction of my art.

My art of control,
To lock myself up inside.
Feelings locked in my chest,
Which most have been denied.

I am a caged animal,
I'd hate to see the day when I am out.
So I keep the key in front of me,
Forcing my own drought.

Everyone looks at my cage,
But all they see is me.
An animal in disguise,
Is what I'll always be.

Two brothers,
Should be same.
But one is crazy,
And one is sane.

From the same parents,
Raised in the same home.
The only change to be found,
Is that one is two years old.

For those who blindly follow,
Science and rules. Why in one case is 1 + 1 = 2,
And in the another case,
It's 32?

Not a holy man,
Never said that to be true.
But my blood brother,
Is less like me, and more like you.

I was thrown in prison,
I walked out just fine.
Now there he goes after me,
I hope he makes good of his time.

Two brothers,
Should be same.
But one is crazy,
And one is sane.

Why are you here,
Haunting my mind?
Leave me spinning like a tornado,
As you hum your rhymes.

Memories flash back,
Unlike the phone which we were captured in.
Smiling holding each other,
Two on the bed, two in the closet, we all could have been kin.

My mind and my heart,
They fight to tie.
Neither can hope to win,
But the loser is always I.

Surfacing to my thoughts,
Like a beast rises from water.
She taunts me with sweet dreams,
Deceives like a daughter.  

Dreams of the future,
Nightmares of the past.
Still don't crush my hopes,
That might have you at last.

Questions fall from the sky,
All I can do scream.
The sky, the sky, is falling!
Chicken Little, I now know what you mean!  

Why can't you face me woman?
Tell me to my face,
That I am the worst of people,
Inform me of my disgrace!

When I see you,
I pretend not to give a ****.
Why should I even bother,
To show you who I am.

Plague plague, go away,
My mind does not enjoy your stay.
Spreads like fire,
Burns at a high rates.
I need to stop loving those who I should hate.

Now all you kids,
Who thought you knew me in the past,
I have a request for all of you,
Kiss my ***.

You all thought you knew me,
Though you didn't have a clue.
Not an idea who I am,
Or what I can do.

You tried to label me,
But you were wrong.
Put me on a self,
That I didn't belong.

I have changed,
Weird I know.
That people can grow up,
And evolve and go!

Once I broke away,
And got to higher ground,
I laughed and laughed,
At all of you in the crowd.  

Your opinions never mattered.
I have always been God in my head.
But stop your pointless judging,
If not, to me, you are dead.

Looked in the mirror,
And I saw three people,
Looking back at me.

They were so different,
Motives crisscrossed.
Only showing sometimes in reality.

I saw my best friend,
He looked at me dead in the eyes.
Whispered wise words, into my mind.

Told me to be,
Calm and controlled.
Help others feel alive, do what I am told.

Beside him stood my worst enemy,
He smiled like the devil and said,
"Feeling are for fools, **** everybody."

Asked me if I cared about him or her,
Reminded me that nothing fun,
Comes out from being pure.

In the middle sat a boy,
Was it me?
He rocked back and forward crying himself to sleep.

Screamed his questions,
In unseen rage.
"Who the hell are you, where is your cage!?"

I stared at the three,
Tried to make sense of it all.
My mind couldn't take it so it jumped just to fall.

Destroyed by the questions,
My mind denied the heart's lies,
Shut off my eyes, now I am truly blind.

Laying in bed,
Thoughts keep on turning.
Past seems too close,
All of my mistakes keep me yearning.

Yearning for those,
Who are up above.
Red Xs across my mind,
For those whom I loved.

Another one down,
Millions to go.
I was once a clueless boy,
Before tainted by a ***.

The taint which had painted,
My very soul.
Months of searching,
Just to be "Rick Roll'd".

My mind won't settle,
The storm will not calm.
Let the hurricanes rip out,
Each and every palm.

A gypsy, a nomad,
A pilgrim of the sun.
Tries to bring light to all,
Brought down by a gun.

Minds scattered,
The thoughts are no different.
"Who and where is she,
Why so indifferent!?"

So there I am,
Laying in bed.
Repeating the words,
That I should have said.