I thought it would be easy
putting myself out there
hoping to find a spark

but when I actually do it
All I can think of
is you

the warmth of your hugs
the comfort I felt at your touch
The softness of your kisses

All of it
is you
and I'll I'm doing
is chasing the ghost

of what will never be

I walked in upset
Frustrated at life
and all these children sat

each in their own cliques
each their own life
and I saw one, who reminded me
of me

not really belonging
Not sure what to do
but just wanted to be accepted

It was nice to watch them open up
Hear them laugh
Watch them smile a true smile

Life has a funny way
of being back
those memories you believe to be forgotten

The body twitches
The mind runs
All this creativity
A blur to undo
Way to many pieces
Way to little time
A mess of my making
A mess by others
Uncertainty at best
And worst a friend
Swift and simple
Just to make it stop
Maybe then
I can breathe

You walk in my shadow
Your right out of eyesight
You are always next to me

Watching
waiting
patient for the right time

The right time when you can slither back in my mind
plant dangerous thoughts
reminding me once more
that I'm nothing

A nobody
a speck in everyone's else's lives
that will be blown away by the wind
and never missed

You tell me no one would care
Because no one cares now

The final jump
the relation of a step
the pull of a trigger

then it's over
and nobody is gone
forever silent

a marked grave no one visits
a corpse encased in stone

Who would care
if nobody disappeared

when nobody seemed to care
about a nobody

Time, a wary thing
Full of potential
Full of disappointment
Each second passes
Changes fate as it does

Would lives be different
if I went left, instead of right?

Every day is a gift
but some gifts are gags
or unpractical
but a gift no less

Does it matter if I stay in bed today
Would it matter if I gave up
Would someone care
if it didn't matter?

Every day is a gift
Some are better than others
You only see my good days
So does it matter
if today is not a good day?

Will it ever stop?
The sirens scream
The lights flash
And I think of you

A story I believed
A life I was wrapped up in
Gone over night

Too soon I fell
Too soon I trusted
Just to be left alone

Will it ever stop
Thinking of another
As the trucks go by

Did you really wish to talk
or did you not remember when I told you I was different

you praised me
when I helped a child not breakdown
but yet it was all I could
not to do the same

You get mad when I get overwhelmed
always have to be perfect
but how can I be perfect
when you keep trying to knock me off my tightrope

so did you really wish to talk
or was this the cover
because you don't want to admit
I'm different then you?

A dragon's soul is ancient.
And fragile
But it holds a heart of gold in the center
That few can have love them

A heart of gold surrounded by a passionate fire
That will burn those who try to take by force
Only if the dragon allows the first to go down
The cold stone and fire will stay up
Protecting the heart

But even when the dragon cares
No one ever understands the heart
until they hold it
And understand why it is fragile
and cracked
and missing some pieces

But it still beats
And even if thrown on the ground
It does not shatter
The dragon will take it back
And wait until they can find the right one
to hold their r heart
Their soul
Their life

Once you can hold a dragons heart
then you will understand
While few walk on the surface
And why they were hunted
And hide in the darkness
Away from thieves
But still careful
Of those that come near
And the few they hold near

Such a simple thing
Three little words
I trust you
I love you

But when something happens
The letters ed get added

I trusted you
I loved you

The knife those letter hold
Only make the pain worse
Now all I need
Is a upside-down u

To make it

End

Is this fear?
Is it anger?
Pain?
oh what is it I am feeling

The numbness
the sting of a cut
the confusion
what is going on?????

You suffocate me
pull me from family and friends
making me sit alone in the dark

You take my drive
my passion depleted
my hope, crushed

Why did you come back?
I thought I was getting better
I thought.....

The ideas are in the palm of your hand
the expertise yours alone to hold
Such a small crowd you run in
but the worlds attention you hold

Entrepreneur
such a fancy name
for something fancy
A mouthful to express
how you don't just let your dreams
be just dreams

Entrepreneur
You are famous where you go
your own boss and money maker
what more could you want,
when you sit on the seat so high?

Entrepreneur
your eyes are leaking
your body is shivering
you have everything
why are you upset?

Entrepreneur
A burden some carry
to realize how small the world can be
when no one thinks you struggle

Entrepreneur
A lonely road to walk
And when the funds run dry
but the ideas won't stop
remember what they say

Entrepreneur
You are one of a kind
you make your dreams reality
you work when everyone clocks out
and understand the magnitude of what you have

Entrepreneur
Be brave
be resilient
be strong
and be proud

to stand out among the crowd
and face the worlds wrath
like it was another Tuesday

Fight
scream
shout
cry
do what ever you need to do

to not give up

You controlled my childhood
Scarred I would be alone
Scarred of what home would be like after school
Scarred that
no one could love me

Now you have your hold me once more
The unknown possibilities
All magical
All terrifying
All too high for me...

You control my dreams
And make walking up a hassle.


But remember this

Once the cracks appear
Once the chance is given
You will not control me
And I will be free from you
once again