All the planning
makes my heart race
and the tears threaten to fall

but when asked if I wanted anyone with me
I thought of you holding me
letting me break once more
and know I would be safe enough to not be strong

"No, there isn't anyone to call"

Simple in rules
Find the secrets
Decode the words
Storys of old
Once more retold

Fly fast
Fly strong
Messages are out there
Waiting
Waiting to be found
and the game to start

Why must this be so hard
Growing up I was intelligent
Have a amazing degree
But the closed doors remind me
My age is all that matters

Life kicked me down
My own mother pushes me further
Reminding me that
It is only the scars she sees

Talked aitha friend
Trying to distract myself
And get kicked again
Reminded that my past
Is what they see

I thought I got to shed those chains
Break free of the torment
Called depression and suicide

But I guess the chains grew thin and tight
Like wire around my skin
Will it be painful
When the wire cuts?
Or will it be cut with ease
As I draw a final breath?

I thought it would be easy
putting myself out there
hoping to find a spark

but when I actually do it
All I can think of
is you

the warmth of your hugs
the comfort I felt at your touch
The softness of your kisses

All of it
is you
and I'll I'm doing
is chasing the ghost

of what will never be

I walked in upset
Frustrated at life
and all these children sat

each in their own cliques
each their own life
and I saw one, who reminded me
of me

not really belonging
Not sure what to do
but just wanted to be accepted

It was nice to watch them open up
Hear them laugh
Watch them smile a true smile

Life has a funny way
of being back
those memories you believe to be forgotten

It was night like the others
Everyone asleep
But the one who mind spiraled
So many times it went further in that darkness
Creeping closer to the edge of the cliff

A small voice begged for forgiveness
A single hand reaching out
"I have work, Goodnight"

The world fell
Air rushing
And the edge
Getting further from view

Only afterwards was damage realized
But would the same outcome happen
If time repeated
Or would it change

For a funeral or a second chance?

Coffee in the morning
A light at 8

A warm cup of embrace
A cool drag of smoke

A heart longing for the impossible
A soul forgetting to live

Hair up and clean
Unshaven and untamed

A chance meeting
One in life's game

But those eyes
The soft brown eyes

We're ones you never could forget

I still love him
I still love her

Two hearts beat as one
Thousands of miles apart

And only time will know
If that last was it
Or if there is still a ember left in the ashes

The body twitches
The mind runs
All this creativity
A blur to undo
Way to many pieces
Way to little time
A mess of my making
A mess by others
Uncertainty at best
And worst a friend
Swift and simple
Just to make it stop
Maybe then
I can breathe

You walk in my shadow
Your right out of eyesight
You are always next to me

Watching
waiting
patient for the right time

The right time when you can slither back in my mind
plant dangerous thoughts
reminding me once more
that I'm nothing

A nobody
a speck in everyone's else's lives
that will be blown away by the wind
and never missed

You tell me no one would care
Because no one cares now

The final jump
the relation of a step
the pull of a trigger

then it's over
and nobody is gone
forever silent

a marked grave no one visits
a corpse encased in stone

Who would care
if nobody disappeared

when nobody seemed to care
about a nobody

Time, a wary thing
Full of potential
Full of disappointment
Each second passes
Changes fate as it does

Would lives be different
if I went left, instead of right?

Every day is a gift
but some gifts are gags
or unpractical
but a gift no less

Does it matter if I stay in bed today
Would it matter if I gave up
Would someone care
if it didn't matter?

Every day is a gift
Some are better than others
You only see my good days
So does it matter
if today is not a good day?

Will it ever stop?
The sirens scream
The lights flash
And I think of you

A story I believed
A life I was wrapped up in
Gone over night

Too soon I fell
Too soon I trusted
Just to be left alone

Will it ever stop
Thinking of another
As the trucks go by

Did you really wish to talk
or did you not remember when I told you I was different

you praised me
when I helped a child not breakdown
but yet it was all I could
not to do the same

You get mad when I get overwhelmed
always have to be perfect
but how can I be perfect
when you keep trying to knock me off my tightrope

so did you really wish to talk
or was this the cover
because you don't want to admit
I'm different then you?

A dragon's soul is ancient.
And fragile
But it holds a heart of gold in the center
That few can have love them

A heart of gold surrounded by a passionate fire
That will burn those who try to take by force
Only if the dragon allows the first to go down
The cold stone and fire will stay up
Protecting the heart

But even when the dragon cares
No one ever understands the heart
until they hold it
And understand why it is fragile
and cracked
and missing some pieces

But it still beats
And even if thrown on the ground
It does not shatter
The dragon will take it back
And wait until they can find the right one
to hold their r heart
Their soul
Their life

Once you can hold a dragons heart
then you will understand
While few walk on the surface
And why they were hunted
And hide in the darkness
Away from thieves
But still careful
Of those that come near
And the few they hold near

Such a simple thing
Three little words
I trust you
I love you

But when something happens
The letters ed get added

I trusted you
I loved you

The knife those letter hold
Only make the pain worse
Now all I need
Is a upside-down u

To make it

End

Is this fear?
Is it anger?
Pain?
oh what is it I am feeling

The numbness
the sting of a cut
the confusion
what is going on?????

You suffocate me
pull me from family and friends
making me sit alone in the dark

You take my drive
my passion depleted
my hope, crushed

Why did you come back?
I thought I was getting better
I thought.....