When I was 11
I wished to die

Simple and painless
not sure about the thoughts

When I was 13
I wished to die

Slow and calm
Something where I would feel myself die

When I was 16
I wished to die

Expecting hospital equipment
that wouldn't save me

A hole in everyone's hearts
A message no one wished to hear

When I was 20
I wished to live

Pushing myself to exhumation
It almost made me lose it all.

My body was too tired to stay awake
A miracle I walked away

Three attempts
21 scars

All gave birth to a dragon
That still flies
despite the circumstances