I hear them And I think of you I see them And hear your voice I find them more After knowing you A simple thing A seirn, and light Makes tears ***** my eyes Not for where they go But for who rides in them Understanding the pain That comes with a badge Or shield The tarnished vision That society has now created And the lives effected Over selfish acts of violence
I hear them I see them And I think of you Maybe one day I will be able to hold you Ease your pain through the night Release the tension you hold But for now I sit Swallowing my sobs And move on Like my heart didn't just shatter In a million pieces
To dream of what if To think of a life That never happened To live experiences That will never pass Become a fascination of some A balance of time and life
Some use it to escape Others use it to grow Me I use it to think To think of him Of them What my life could have been If I had just Said Yes.
Because I can't control my past Because I can't stop my spirals Because everyone has left me Because people are scarred of me Because inside I am a total mess Because I barely hold myself together Because I constantly am reminded of what happened Because I was told I have to high standards Because every guy used me Because I don't know how to control myself "Anxiety"
"What is your greatest fear?" "Having this heartache feeling forever" "Oh, ok" "What about you, what do you fear?" "You really want to know?" "Yeah, what keeps you up at night?"
Could you love me Could you accept all of my baggage Could you accept my trauma Could you accept my genetics are worst then before
I don't know if you even exist or if your just a name in my past but could you love me entirely like I would love you? Flaws and all till this life ends?
We used to be so close I used to call you a friend A friend I never met I trusted you with my heart And we made time for each other
Now we don't talk unless I speak first I send messages you never reply too When I express why I'm hurt you fix it for a day before leaving me alone once more
Now I hope you can find time to talk with me I hope that I am not an inconvenience to you I hope that you still care about me
Yet when you've had a bad day I stop what I am doing I let you rant on about how bad work is and when I tell you what's going on I feel hopeful that I do matter to someone somewhere.
but then the silence comes once more Showing no one does care leaving me in the place
where I hope you find the time that I make for you
I sit at night writing in ink hoping it lasts the test of time Quill and ink every drop a purpose intended The only place I feel free Free to look at myself and question thoughts in my head but is this freedom really free When no one sees the words I write?
The concept simple The reality much different It was suppose to be a new start A new chapter of invention A new road being paved But the chains still hold the obligation of blood The concept of staying
I shouldn't be bitter I shouldn't be upset "Enjoy the time you have" but when its holding me back is it still worth it?
Many know me I'm there at a drop of the hat Yet When I need one There is no one My phone is silent And I sit alone Hoping for something But nothing will change And I am forever alone
In a crowded room So many eyes scan Each a mind, and a life But yet they do nothing For the one creating glass tears Silent they look away Hoping they do not stay
Golden Feather so light and pure your light casts away the darkness simple yet strong innocent in war perfect and flawed both the truth simple and powerful burn bright Golden Feather and keep the monsters away Tonight
A day of celebration When one walks across the stage and grabs a piece of paper
However, when faced with the same situation I realize I am not the woman people expect instead, I am a scared little girl living in fear and hiding in my room
Once again counting days till I move while living a hell and putting on a pretty face, so no one speculates
Once more, I sit numb to lifes situations scarred of the unknown and hiding to prevent fights
Her smile is intoxicating Her personality contagious Her mind a lovely prison Slowly they come Men of all ages All trying to win her hand But soon, they become poisoned From her love
So true So pure So deadly Unable to control it Shes watches them choke And slowly die from loving her
Alone she lives Broken men surround her Reminders of her curse No matter what she tries the poison seeps through And kills everything but her
I want you here I want you to hold me and tell the world to leave me alone I like your arms to keep me at night and I want your lips to kiss every inch of my body but as much as I want you here Next to me I can't have it
You wake up every day tired from the day before and you still find the energy to run and help at a moments notice
You are there helping people saving them when there is no hope Calming blazes till their out You're a hero to them...
So how can I want you when it would be taking someone's hero away at the moment when they need one the most?
My first kiss My first friend My first shoulder to cry on My first support My first love
But life is a cruel thing Taking him so young Leaving a stone and flag I cried for years Our son trying his best to support me But how can a child help the parent
So much pain So much fear And I never wanted to forgive him He didn't have to leave He could have stayed Stayed with us Watch his son grow
But I guess remembering you Is better then having you hear Despite my longing for you Craving your touch once more We found happiness in the pain
We still visit you Still loop you in when something happens Leave you a seat at events Like his band concert last fall
I think we're finally finding that happiness again We can never replace you Nor do we try But we are getter better One day at a time