I want to feel you
All around
Want to look to you for guidance
I want a reason for being here right now
Want to be surrounded by people that make me proud
I embarrassed by the thought
So disgusted by my absence
I try to gather information
Try and figure out which group would fit me
But it is me who needs to mold myself
But where do I begin
And how do I make that move
And will you love me
Even if I've been wrong in my past
Even if I've told people you were wrong
Will you love me as I find you?

New town
New home
New heart
Should have done this from the start
Keep trying to convince him
That our love can stand being apart
Through the pain I try as hard as I truly can
But no matter how hard
You still show me you cant be a man
What is a man
And who is a woman
And are we not defined?
I wonder these thoughts deeply
Now my feet have left the sand
My soul is buried deep in the lake
Yours deep in the snow
I thought this move would make it easier
but yet I still dont know
The guilt that covers my body
Each time I think of leaving
And sometimes when I picture this
My eyes well up with tears
Of something I may miss
I wish the stars could guide me
Down the path of which was right
But there's nothing I can do
Except, try and get some sleep tonight

Im in-between
I thrive in muck
But I am better
I try
But not hard enough
I know I can make a change
I just don't know
When I'll be strong enough
To peruse
Something new
And worth while
So I'm happy
But, not with myself
Because I'm better
Well I'm trying
But not hard enough

Just like that
A simple
Quick decision
Can make you throw caution to the wind,
Take another chance shall I?
Put everything on the line for what?
A few more months of strength?
A recovered love?
Could it would it change a thing?
For my family i'd do anything

Trying to find an outlet for this hurt
It slices right through me
Like a hot knife to butter
I'm helpless
Trying to fight my hardest
But can't fight my way out a paper bag
I make myself busy and try and push myself
But it just takes over
I wear it like a blanket now
And when I try to out think it
He slams it over my head like a hammer
And I'm helpless again
I feel like nothing
Worthless
Even when I know I'm not
I can't shake this awful feeling
That I'm useless
Without you
And it disgusts me

Somehow I got all the answers
Got em all jotted down in this brain
They come out of nowhere and I'm not quite sure how I come up with these answers
They make ******* sense
And people tell me all there *******
And I listen
I tell them like I'm some ******* shrink
They take my word
And I know nothing
They say I gotta a old soul or some ****
Maybe I do
And if I do, whose soul I got?

So many words to speak
So little ears to hear these endless run on sentences
That pour out of my mouth
Repetetive and loud
Sickening and angry
Like a broken record they say
I say
**** em
No one asked you
I'm just tellin