Soapy and wet
I write
Through the agony
Through my bittersweet thoughts
Things may never change
Am I lazy
Or depressed?
I'm not sure anymore
Lack of motivation
Of hope
And I see this smile
And I cant help but try
She motivates me just enough
But even I know
I'm the only one
Who can't dust myself off
And get back to me
So much has changed
And though I still feel like a child
Ive somehow become a mother
But a mother is not solely who I am
Even when it feels like it
I'm still confused
I'm still wondering
I feel confined
Lack of culture that surrounds me
I long for something much more wholesome
My own place
For my own family
I'm haunted by the past
Of which I had no part of
Afraid to drastically erase any hope of a dream I had
Grasping as tight as I can to an image we were sold
But never taught to achieve
I sit on the floor of the shower
And I write
Hoping that this spillage
Will get me through the night