Of ****
It's that feeling
that you can't quite describe
That pit in your stomach
that keeps swirling around
Like a cat chasing its tale
Urmm this is what I live for
I love it
But i hate it
The anticipation
The fantasies
It's so much more fun too build up
Your going to have too hold me down
*** i'm flying through my imagination
Thinking of the possiblities
They're endless
A stranger
Yet someone I've seen a thousand times before
I've lost myself to fiction
Somewhere between
Peter Pan and Cinderella
I can't control my movements
I'll jump in excitement
Over a simple thought of us brushing against eachother
As we pass by
Nervous yet Invigorated
What will this unveil?

I'm ugly
But not too ugly
not the ugly thats unbearable
I am not the most intelligent
This I can admit
Though I admire those who are
I am not skinny
Not even close
And I strive too only be healthy
I am not happy all the time
Though bystanders may think so
I am ok.
But still besides these facts
I am me
I am a jumble of imperfection
I strive on giggles and slight awkwardness
That keeps your heart beating at an unsteady pace
I am a loud music seeker
I am a lip locker
I am a secret in a box waiting to explode
I am a **** toucher
A star gazer
A lazy walker
A cat lover
An emotional movie watcher
A hand holder
A heart breaker
A friend
I am ugly but not that ugly
I live beneath my strengths
And my quirks that complete me

Stuck between a field of weeds
And a garden of gremlins
You are above
Staring at me
Contradicting, telling me who to love
With thoughts that never end
Interrupting my sleep
Secrets spilling through the cracks of my teeth
It never stops
It just keeps going
And my body will never choose
How many will I have to loose?
Pick a side any side
If only it were this easy
I wobble from left to right
East too west
But yet it only keeps me queezy
My heart speaks to my mind
In sorrow
But brain says there will be a better tomorrow
Choose wiseley before its too late
But I'll sit in confusion
Till I step up to the plate
Infatuation is in lust
But true love has all but disenigrated to dust
What we thought was true
Has all turned around as a lie that was told by you

I don’t consider myself an intellectual.
And this is not one of my aims.
But I admire intellectual people.

She stares in to my eyes
I feel the pain behind hers
I run my fingers through her hair
She smiles
We kiss
She takes my hand in hers
I can hear the thumping of her heart
Most people don't phaze me
I can drop them without a thought
You stole my soul
You can keep it
We lay down beside eachother
Half way embraced
Am I really this lucky
I watch you get up and light a ciggerette
You come back and sit down on my lap
I smile
You hand me the ciggerette
But before I could take a drag you kiss me
Again and again
Until I can hardly breathe
I like this feeling
Breatheless only because you have taken all my air
Your fine red lips trace mine
They tingle
I can't stop myself from smiling
You laugh
"I've never been this happy"
You say
"Me either"
I say
We lay their quietly
Staring at eachother
In complete ecstacy
"i'm so glad your mine"

You breathe down my neck with such intensity
I try not too break you but your so fragile
Maybe you don't understand what its like
Too be young and free
You want too trap me
Smother me
I made a mistake by doing this too you
Just caught  up in my own selfsih game
I realize now what I want
What I need
It's not you
Can I tell you that?
Without hurt
I can't keep running
Can't keep doing you like this
I can't keep doing myself like this
I want freedom
I want love
I want her love
Not yours
I'm sorry
But you have too let go