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2.2k · Dec 2017
A House, not a Home.
Xi Dec 2017
You can't make homes out of humans,
my life is not a fire to keep you warm,
my arms aren't walls to protect you,
from your own internal storm.

My heart is not a light switch,
for you to turn on when you please,
and I can't carry the weight of your regret,
Because I'm buckling at the knees.

My legs may not be a solid foundation,
But they aren't yours on which to build,
And the holes in my heart can fit us both,
But you do not decide how they're filled.

You can't make homes out of humans,
And I won't let you in just because you have knocked.
And if you keep using my heart as a doormat,
next time you'll find the door locked.
1.3k · Dec 2018
blond and blue✦
Xi Dec 2018
Beware the boys
With dyed blond hair
blue eyes
and beautiful music

*      ·   
   ✦                      . ˚   
                                                          ✦      · .
  ·     . .   *    *  . * .         ·
trust me darling
That handsome smirk
May have told you
   ✦                 . ˚   
                        ✦      · .
  *    *  . * .    
he wanted all of you
  *   ✺ ˚ ⊹             ✵      ˚ +    . .        ˚    ✷ ·  .   .       · *     ⊹   . ⋆ ˚
But it turns out
He only meant your skin
*   ✺ ˚ ⊹  
        ✵     ˚ +    . .        ˚   ✷ ·  . .       · *      ⊹   . ⋆ ˚
1.2k · Feb 2019
His words
Xi Feb 2019
"you're quieter than usual lately."
"there's nothing to say."
1.0k · Nov 2018
Xi Nov 2018
Hearts break
when people change
but feelings stay the same.
884 · Feb 2018
Time Does NOT Heal Wounds
Xi Feb 2018
Whoever said,
"Time heals all wounds,"
has never been in love.

Or watched as someone you held so dear
walked away from you in fear.
Not in fear of you,
but in fear of being loved by you.

They've never felt someone's hand in theirs,
and realized they'd do anything to protect that person.
And true heartbreak is knowing they don't feel the same.
869 · Feb 2019
cold weather
Xi Feb 2019
i adore cold weather.
But not for the fires,
Or the warmth of another person.
I find something beautiful about it,
And maybe even a bit lonely.
It reminds me of bittersweet loss,
And finding the strength to move on.
681 · Jan 2019
Xi Jan 2019




596 · Dec 2017
Sunlight and Chocolate
Xi Dec 2017
You hated your eye color,
called it a dull and ***** brown,
you wished for eyes like a deep blue ocean,
in which your admirers would drown.

It pained me when I realized,
you'd never see it like I do,
The way your eyes hint at a difficult story,
One I want to read right through.

They hold specks of stolen sunlight,
that you'd miss with just one glance,
and a deep raw of emotion,
which can freeze you in a trance.

They're a mix of melted chocolate,
when I'm craving something sweet,
but can hold a gaze so unwavering
that I find it hard to meet.

I fall right  into the rabbit hole,
when I look into your eyes,
the brown of earth's unfiltered beauty,
that I yearn to memorize.

When I was tired of not belonging,
they made me feel like I'd been found,
and I wish you'll never say again
that your eyes are simply brown.
This poem is based off a conversation I had recently, and I told him his eyes looked like Sunlight and Chocolate.
556 · Feb 2019
Xi Feb 2019
are so lovely.
Maybe that's why they remind me of you.
548 · Dec 2018
Xi Dec 2018
your fingertips may never graze my skin
But they have already touched my soul
you know I'm yours, don't you?
513 · Feb 2018
If I Could
Xi Feb 2018
This is what I would tell her if I could:

I promise to love you forever,
and even if everything around you crumbles,
I promise you,
I will never.

I love your flaws,
They do not define you.
I accept the scars you've made on your body,
but I despise anyone who tries to hurt you.

And god, you're beautiful.
You truly take my breath away.
I am your guard, I'll always protect you.

I'll embrace you during the bad,
I'll still hold you during the good.
I love every part of you,
And I would tell you if I could.
487 · Mar 2018
Poetry Made Me Say It
Xi Mar 2018
We were alone in the dark,
your fingers tapped the keys on my laptop,
and then they stopped.
You asked, "What is this?"
I glance over, and my breath caught in my throat.
"That's Hello Poetry."
I let you scroll through my words,
and soon your eyes filled with tears,
when you read my poems of love.
You asked who she was,
and you say if she means this much to you,
She must be amazing.
I looked at you,
and I whispered,
"Yeah. You really are amazing.
477 · Jan 2018
Xi Jan 2018
You left your jacket in my room,
I found it lying on the floor.
I can't bring it to you,
you're long gone out the door.

It smells like you,
like strawberries and everything kind,
and the love I feel for you just brought tears to my eyes,
I'm so attached it blows my mind.

It's wrong to love you,
but it feels so right.
you slept next to me,
and I wanted to hold you so tight.

And you hate how you look,
which makes me so sad,
you're so beautiful,
But at the world you're mad.

They made you hate the reflection you see,
which tore you up inside,
and because you feel that way,
it also tore me.
I'm in love with her.
476 · Feb 2019
Xi Feb 2019
tomorrow will be different
  tomorrow will be different
     tomorrow will be different
         tomorrow will be different
         tomorrow will be different
              tomorrow will be different
                tomorrow will be different
               tomorrow will be different
          tomorrow will be different
        tomorrow will be different
     tomorrow will be different
   tomorrow will be different
    tomorrow will be different
       tomorrow will be different
         tomorrow will be different
          tomorrow will be different
     tomorrow will be different
  tomorrow will be different
tomorrow will be different
tomorrow i will be different.
477 · Jan 2019
Xi Jan 2019
i used to judge my beauty by the gap between my thighs
And the visibility of my ribs
one year recovered.
464 · Nov 2018
Xi Nov 2018
what a fleeting thing it is
This thing we call life
yours was so much shorter.
393 · Feb 2019
you look at me
Xi Feb 2019
the way you used to look at her.
and i finally feel like i deserve you.
330 · Jan 2019
we always said
Xi Jan 2019
no strings attached
but puppets aren't their own masters.
274 · Feb 2019
I want
Xi Feb 2019
to feel your skin.
I want
to feel your kiss on my neck
on my cheek
on my lips.
267 · Feb 2019
two days apart
Xi Feb 2019
aren't much
But when he has months to live
and no one but you knows that,
They feel like a lifetime.
263 · Nov 2018
Xi Nov 2018
eyes are the window to the soul, they say.
but to a narcissist
they're just a mirror
253 · Jan 2019
i only think of you
Xi Jan 2019
when the sunlight reaches through the trees to feel my skin
And the wind runs its fingers through my hair.
Because on a day like that
Is when we first met.
And even though you're gone,
and i now adore cold weather,
we'll always have our sunny days.
Xi Dec 2017
I kissed her and forgot to breathe
It just didn't seem as important at the time.
219 · Feb 2019
Xi Feb 2019
nothing changed except everything.
209 · Feb 2019
your eyes
Xi Feb 2019
When you look at me
Your eyes are dull.
they were once a vibrant, beautiful green.
But now they're faded and gone.
210 · Dec 2017
Xi Dec 2017
Her alarm goes off beside her,
a rough start to a rough day,
she pulls on the first clothes she sees,
and continues on her way.

The women on the sidewalk,
seem to have life all worked out,
They don't feel the sadness she does,
or her own self-conscious doubt.

She has never been called pretty,
and feels like she knows why,
as she watches the clouds,
and chases their patterns in the sky.

She doesn't want attention,
so she glances at the ground,
as though it has the answers,
that she's longing to have found

Her day's like any others,
Filled with voices in her head,
they whisper 'You will be alone,
until the day that you are dead.'

She walks home defeated,
her bed so big that she feels small,          
And she hopes that tomorrow,
she won't wake up at all.
There is now a continuation of this poem, titled "Him"
201 · Dec 2017
Hold On Move On
Xi Dec 2017
Maybe I am the type of person,
that holds onto things too tight.
I cannot release my grip,
even if it no longer feels right.

Although it gave me blisters,
and my fingers  may still ache,
I think that maybe,
holding on is worth the pain it takes.

I think that losing in things,
I lose a part of myself too.
That I would become someone
my heart no longer knew.

Then one day something happened,
I dropped what I once held dear,
my heart became heavier,
and maybe full of fear.

But I no longer have to cling to people
who no longer make me smile,
or do something I've come to hate,
because it isn't worth my while.
200 · Dec 2017
Xi Dec 2017
Welcome to Society,
We hope you enjoy your stay,
and please, be yourself,
as long as it's in the right way.

Make sure you love your body,
not too much or we'll tear it down,
and we will bully you for smiling,
then wonder why you frown.

We told you-you were worthless,
and not to make a sound,
but we cried with all the others
as you were lowered into the ground.

You can fall in love with anyone,
as long as it's who we chose,
and we'll let you have your opinions,
as long as you shape them to our views.

Welcome to society,
we promise we don't deceive,
and one more rule, now that you're here,
there's no way you can leave.

I don't own this poem, it just needed to be shared.
198 · Jan 2018
Xi Jan 2018
Am I allowed to look at her like that?
Could it be wrong,
when she's just so nice to look at?

And she smells like lavender and sleep,
She tastes like candy and peach,
You can find her in my Polaroid pictures,
And she means everything to me.

I'd never tell,
No, I'd never say a word.
And oh it aches,
But it feels oddly good to hurt.

She smells like honey and everything sweet,
She tastes like strawberries and peach,
You find only her in my pictures,
Because she means everything to me.

And I'll be okay,
Admiring from afar,
Because even when she's next to me,
We could not be more far apart.

Because she tastes like cake,
And storytime and fall,
But to her,
I taste of nothing at all.
I love her...
192 · Dec 2017
Xi Dec 2017
I meant to tell you
I needed help
but not a word was spoken.
For there's only the break in breakdown for me,
and it hurts to be this broken.
169 · Dec 2017
New Year
Xi Dec 2017
My New Year's Resolution
is making it through next year.
Make it through the nights,
without my eyes filling up with tears.

Bite my tongue,
and grit my teeth,
I can hide my pain,
I bury it underneath.

as if it's my last breath,
because it might just be.
Try to be happy.

Don't paint on a smile.
it works for now,
But that's only for a little while.
167 · Nov 2018
Xi Nov 2018
you're just a couple years older
but a couple is something we'll never be.
i wonder where your life will take you.
161 · Mar 2019
Xi Mar 2019
my heart aches when you touch me
and aches when you don't.
159 · Jan 2019
the best kind of numb
Xi Jan 2019
i don't know what to feel right now
156 · Dec 2018
Xi Dec 2018
whispering words in the darkness of night under a soft red blanket,
I've never felt so alive at four in the morning.
staring at our ceilings miles away,
But still feeling like we're the only ones in the world at this moment.
i feel so close to someone so far
And yet i still can't bring myself
To admit i want you more than i can express.
156 · Nov 2018
Xi Nov 2018
If you ever look in the mirror
And let it tell you you're not pretty enough
Skinny enough
Curvy enough
Or not enough
I think it's about time you smashed that mirror to bits,  
don't you?
Tell the mirror it's not broken enough.
155 · Feb 2018
To my therapist:
Xi Feb 2018
When I tell you
that I feel less like a person,
and more like a problem,
Your eyes squint up,
and all I see is the pity in them.
I say I'm sorry,
because if my feelings
can't be handled by you,
then I'm more ruined than I thought.
You also said that at the age of thirteen,
I hold much more on my shoulders
than I could ever begin to bear.
Maybe that's true,
but I've come this far,
and I don't plan on giving up.
I'm not quite sure what exactly this poem is about. I just started typing, and here we are.
155 · Dec 2017
Xi Dec 2017
The teacher told the boy,
that to be a poet,
you must follow the rules.

"Well,"  said the boy.
"Then I shall not write poems,
I shall write Moems."

"Oh," said the teacher.
"And what is a Moem?"
"Moems are just like poems,"
said the boy,"

"But without all the rules."
"Well," said the teacher.
"You won't ever be a poet if you don't follow the rules."
"No," the boy said.
"I'll be a moet."
~A t t i c u s
This is Atticus' poem, I just think it's quirky and really describes me as a child, never wanting to follow rules and guidelines but still loving the concept. Also, isn't it ironic that every time I typed "Moem," it kept autocorrecting to "Poem'?
150 · Nov 2018
Xi Nov 2018
It's a terrifying power,
Realizing you have complete control over ending your life.
150 · Feb 2018
Xi Feb 2018
Sometimes my memories of you
sneak out of my eyes
and roll down my cheeks.
147 · Feb 2018
Xi Feb 2018
They announced it on Monday,
in our school's old run down hall,
that the girl I had math with,
was never coming back at all.

You could hear their silent questions,
"She wasn't so perfect, was she?"
What demons was she fighting,
that we were all too blind to see?

I sat in math that day,
beside her now abandoned desk,
While our teacher warned us not to fail
our fast approaching test.

I remember she once whispered,
how envious she was of me,
her parents knew the work it took,
to get a simple 'B'.

I wish I'd noticed earlier,
or had the decency to ask,
because her world must have been crumbling
behind her perfect student mask.

And I wonder if on that day,
if the last thought in her brain,
was that the only A+ she could give,
was the blood type in her veins.
147 · Dec 2017
Xi Dec 2017
Your arrogance is my downfall,
this has gone too far to be a joke,
and as I stand ablaze before you,
you tell me you smell smoke.

My fire has smoldered far too long,
I fear it might go out,
You took my heart and burnt it to ashes,
I didn't cry, I didn't shout.

I picked my heart up off the ground,
a few embers still barely burned,
I looked up at you and I said,
now, what have we learned?

You can tear me down,
and burn my heart's remains,
but know this,
The fire inside me cannot be tamed.
Xi Apr 2018
It hurts
to see you smile.
because I know that she's the reason.
and now I'm crying in the dark
while you lay with her in your arms.
and I wonder if you've told her
that your father is in jail.
and your mother hits you.
and that you drank alcohol as an escape.
and you're four years clean of self-harm.
did you tell her,
about the night when you called me,
and we were on the phone for four hours.
and you cried out your heart, shamelessly.
You used to wear your smile
like it was your enemy.
Now you look at her,
and you smile like she's your remedy.
She's beautiful, isn't she?
Xi Feb 2018
She told me something today.
She told me that my world does not revolve around her.
She said that I should not care if she ended her life.
But my world does revolve around her.
if she ended her life I would take my own,
because I love her.
I love her.
And her heart is covered in battle wounds,
And you can see the stitches from the last heartbreak,
But I know I can sew it back together,
And I can promise I won't leave a scar.
She means everything to me.
I love you, I won't hurt you, can't you see?
Yes. You told me you did.
Then why are you so afraid of loving me?
140 · Feb 2019
You once said
Xi Feb 2019
Heros don't wear capes,
Or masks.
They wear dog tags.
And i smiled to myself,
Because you didn't need to wear dogtags
To be my hero.
You already were.
137 · Dec 2017
Xi Dec 2017
Do you remember the night
the moon dropped from the sky?
and we ran through the forest,
to find where it lies

I was tripping on tree roots and slipping on snow,
And you grabbed my hand
for the very first time
and told me not to let go.

When we found it at last,
there were twigs in our hair,
Roses on our cheeks,
our breath in the air.

The words to describe it was caught in our throats,
as its silver light danced through the threads of our coats.
we knew our eyes had never seen such a view,
you were looking at it,
But I was looking at you.
133 · Dec 2017
Xi Dec 2017
You are a star
you can burn bright on dark nights,
but be gone in an instant.
Because once you use all your energy,
you start to collapse.
you implode on yourself,
because you had no way to keep fighting,
once you started to dim.
133 · Dec 2018
Xi Dec 2018
i miss your hand on my thigh
130 · Dec 2017
Leather Jacket
Xi Dec 2017
It was a freezing night,
I could see my breath in the air,
I sighed and shivered,
and you leaned over and stroked my hair.

You asked if I wanted your jacket,
it was too big, even for you,
I shook my head,
and you smiled because you knew I was lying.

You wrapped around me,
it was warm and soft,
I still remember the feeling,
it can never be worn off.

The jacket was your father's,
the man you barely knew,
16 years,
and all He had was this jacket and you.

And when I had to take the jacket off,
I sighed and handed it to you,
And all the moments afterward,
were the loneliest I'd ever known.
this is barely even a poem, but I can never forget that leather jacket.
Xi Mar 2018
What a terrible mess we are now.
You love me,
but i love her,
and she loves you.

What happens now that we're all so broken?
Because i feel like dying,
She's so happy that she's flying,
And you're sitting back,
watching us,
and smiling.
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