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Dec 2019 · 22
I'll be fine
Xi Dec 2019
I didn't know the word fine meant you'd start talking to her in four days
holding her hand in the hallway
avoiding my gaze.
That jacket she's wearing, i recognize it
I wore it a time or two before we split.
If I said I missed you, I'd be lying
Just kidding, I'm in the floor crying.
Because I didn't know life without you would be this bad
And I forgive all those times you made me sad
Not that it matters, now you're with her
Those months you spent with me
they're just a blur
In your mind, a waste of time
heartbreak and heartache didn't cost us a dime.
It's okay though, "I'll be fine,"
I'll just forget you were ever mine.
Apr 2019 · 112
Xi Apr 2019
You were always my weak spot,
and that became more clear
The more you separated yourself from me.
Mar 2019 · 161
Xi Mar 2019
my heart aches when you touch me
and aches when you don't.
Feb 2019 · 219
Xi Feb 2019
nothing changed except everything.
Feb 2019 · 98
Xi Feb 2019
am i the only one who notices you're upset,
Or am i the only one you're upset at?
Feb 2019 · 106
Xi Feb 2019
he was gone before he left
Feb 2019 · 51
Xi Feb 2019
i miss the simpler times
when your hand grazed my thigh.
A quiet, secret reassurance that you cared.
Feb 2019 · 76
Xi Feb 2019
I reach more people here
Than i do in my own real life.
Feb 2019 · 869
cold weather
Xi Feb 2019
i adore cold weather.
But not for the fires,
Or the warmth of another person.
I find something beautiful about it,
And maybe even a bit lonely.
It reminds me of bittersweet loss,
And finding the strength to move on.
Feb 2019 · 209
your eyes
Xi Feb 2019
When you look at me
Your eyes are dull.
they were once a vibrant, beautiful green.
But now they're faded and gone.
Feb 2019 · 476
Xi Feb 2019
tomorrow will be different
  tomorrow will be different
     tomorrow will be different
         tomorrow will be different
         tomorrow will be different
              tomorrow will be different
                tomorrow will be different
               tomorrow will be different
          tomorrow will be different
        tomorrow will be different
     tomorrow will be different
   tomorrow will be different
    tomorrow will be different
       tomorrow will be different
         tomorrow will be different
          tomorrow will be different
     tomorrow will be different
  tomorrow will be different
tomorrow will be different
tomorrow i will be different.
Feb 2019 · 1.2k
His words
Xi Feb 2019
"you're quieter than usual lately."
"there's nothing to say."
Feb 2019 · 556
Xi Feb 2019
are so lovely.
Maybe that's why they remind me of you.
Feb 2019 · 51
Xi Feb 2019
Grazing my fingers across your chest is my favorite hobby.
Feb 2019 · 92
"Why do you look so sad?"
Xi Feb 2019
"because you'll be at the hospital for two days?"
He smiled.
"Be sad when I'm gone, not when I'm right in front of you."
Feb 2019 · 267
two days apart
Xi Feb 2019
aren't much
But when he has months to live
and no one but you knows that,
They feel like a lifetime.
Feb 2019 · 109
i had a dream
Xi Feb 2019
you left me for her
and i woke up crying
Feb 2019 · 140
You once said
Xi Feb 2019
Heros don't wear capes,
Or masks.
They wear dog tags.
And i smiled to myself,
Because you didn't need to wear dogtags
To be my hero.
You already were.
Feb 2019 · 274
I want
Xi Feb 2019
to feel your skin.
I want
to feel your kiss on my neck
on my cheek
on my lips.
Feb 2019 · 393
you look at me
Xi Feb 2019
the way you used to look at her.
and i finally feel like i deserve you.
Jan 2019 · 61
i can feel you
Xi Jan 2019
slipping from my fingers
Jan 2019 · 91
Who is he, if not mine?
Xi Jan 2019
Why would you think you're anything special
Just because he wanted to touch your thigh?
Oh honey, the marks on him you didn't leave don't lie.
He's not just yours anymore.
Jan 2019 · 253
i only think of you
Xi Jan 2019
when the sunlight reaches through the trees to feel my skin
And the wind runs its fingers through my hair.
Because on a day like that
Is when we first met.
And even though you're gone,
and i now adore cold weather,
we'll always have our sunny days.
Jan 2019 · 681
Xi Jan 2019




Jan 2019 · 330
we always said
Xi Jan 2019
no strings attached
but puppets aren't their own masters.
Jan 2019 · 86
Xi Jan 2019
he wanted me in his life
so he put me in it.
right next to him,
our legs tangled up,
his hand on my thigh.
Jan 2019 · 83
Xi Jan 2019
it seems the side of you I've never seen before
Wants me the most
Jan 2019 · 477
Xi Jan 2019
i used to judge my beauty by the gap between my thighs
And the visibility of my ribs
one year recovered.
Jan 2019 · 159
the best kind of numb
Xi Jan 2019
i don't know what to feel right now
Dec 2018 · 92
Wish you weren't
Xi Dec 2018
"i wish you were here..."

"why? Because you only want me when you're lonely?"
Dec 2018 · 548
Xi Dec 2018
your fingertips may never graze my skin
But they have already touched my soul
you know I'm yours, don't you?
Dec 2018 · 66
Xi Dec 2018
i want you
Because even after everything you know
You still want me
Dec 2018 · 62
Xi Dec 2018
"my lips feel lonely."

-him, 3AM
Dec 2018 · 156
Xi Dec 2018
whispering words in the darkness of night under a soft red blanket,
I've never felt so alive at four in the morning.
staring at our ceilings miles away,
But still feeling like we're the only ones in the world at this moment.
i feel so close to someone so far
And yet i still can't bring myself
To admit i want you more than i can express.
Dec 2018 · 73
Xi Dec 2018
your thumb, lifting up my chin
your gaze piercing me.
and for once,
i look at you too.
and that's all the confirmation you need
to press your lips to mine.
Dec 2018 · 115
Xi Dec 2018
you wonder why i barely look you in the eye.
It's because, if i do,
I know we'll end up entangled in each other again.
Because eyes can't hide the truth,
And the truth is,
I love you.
his eyes are beautiful.
Dec 2018 · 133
Xi Dec 2018
i miss your hand on my thigh
Dec 2018 · 1.3k
blond and blue✦
Xi Dec 2018
Beware the boys
With dyed blond hair
blue eyes
and beautiful music

*      ·   
   ✦                      . ˚   
                                                          ✦      · .
  ·     . .   *    *  . * .         ·
trust me darling
That handsome smirk
May have told you
   ✦                 . ˚   
                        ✦      · .
  *    *  . * .    
he wanted all of you
  *   ✺ ˚ ⊹             ✵      ˚ +    . .        ˚    ✷ ·  .   .       · *     ⊹   . ⋆ ˚
But it turns out
He only meant your skin
*   ✺ ˚ ⊹  
        ✵     ˚ +    . .        ˚   ✷ ·  . .       · *      ⊹   . ⋆ ˚
Nov 2018 · 71
alone or lonely?
Xi Nov 2018
I asked you
What you thought
the worst way to die is
And you said
I should have told you
That being alone
And being lonely
Are very different things.
Nov 2018 · 464
Xi Nov 2018
what a fleeting thing it is
This thing we call life
yours was so much shorter.
Nov 2018 · 1.0k
Xi Nov 2018
Hearts break
when people change
but feelings stay the same.
Nov 2018 · 87
Xi Nov 2018
I feel your presence between the lines of words that are never spoken
will I ever forget?
Nov 2018 · 156
Xi Nov 2018
If you ever look in the mirror
And let it tell you you're not pretty enough
Skinny enough
Curvy enough
Or not enough
I think it's about time you smashed that mirror to bits,  
don't you?
Tell the mirror it's not broken enough.
Nov 2018 · 263
Xi Nov 2018
eyes are the window to the soul, they say.
but to a narcissist
they're just a mirror
Nov 2018 · 167
Xi Nov 2018
you're just a couple years older
but a couple is something we'll never be.
i wonder where your life will take you.
Nov 2018 · 150
Xi Nov 2018
It's a terrifying power,
Realizing you have complete control over ending your life.
Sep 2018 · 99
A Phone Call
Xi Sep 2018
I'm sorry.
Yes, i know what you said.
No, It doesn't change how i feel!
Why did you lie?
...But you also said-
I know.
So it was a lie.
Then why do i still love you?
He told me he loved me.
Then he came out as gay.
Sep 2018 · 78
Rock Bottom
Xi Sep 2018
when you're at rock bottom
And you think
That there is nothing left
look up.
Jul 2018 · 84
Xi Jul 2018
love me till it hurts
Jul 2018 · 124
My heart has a headache
Xi Jul 2018
Four hours of sleep
A terrible pit in my stomach.
Six in the morning,
And every demon in me is awake.
And so are you.
I'm exhausted.
Mentally and Physically.
Even my heart has a headache.
Yeah, i know that didn't make sense xD
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