Alexis K

Alexis K Aug 23

Have you ever grieved a relationship...
One that hasn't actually happened?

One you've hoped for,
Dreamed for even.

To grieve my person
While they stand beside me holding my hand...
Is a wild experience.

I wanted everything.
With you.
I want none without.

And though you want me,
It's not the same.
It's not enough.

I ask for something...
You say you'll give it.
Then you forget.

I ask for something...
You say you'll give it.
Then you give it to the person next to me.

I want everything with you.
You want everything.

How do I grieve what I can't have?
Never had with you,
Yet dreamed in my head...

How do I accept your love,
The way you want to give it to me?
When I want so much more?

I guess I just have to let that dream go...

Alexis K Jul 31

Wishes Cant Come True

I've only got a few.
1. Nobody cared about me.
2. Death.

If 1 came true, two would be easy, guilt-less.

Since they can't come true I've got a new one.
3. I felt loved the way I love.
But to my dismay, my wishes can't come true.

Alexis K Jul 23

I Love Sleeping

Sleeping is nice.
Until I wake up.

But for a moment,
My mind and body don't scream.
I don't have to fight.
That is,
Until I wake up.

#sleep #depression

Alexis K Jul 19

I Hate Love

Because it is so easy for me,
To give it in baskets handwoven.
In mason jars filled to the brim.
It is so easy to be in love with you.
It is so easy to love you.
Yet so hard to feel loved by you.

Love holds me in this noose,
One that I can't undo.
I hate love.
I love loving you.
I wish I felt you loved me like you say you do.

Alexis K Jul 18

IMissYou

I never knew how deeply you were rooted in me.
I didn't know how loneliness felt until some who understood left.
I miss you.
I miss you more now than I ever have,
But less than I will when I climb into bed without you tonight.
I hope you miss me like I do.
Because, God, do I miss you.

Even the smallest separations make my heart stutter with anxiety, quiver with desire to be in your arms again. I will never stop missing you when you are gone my love.

Alexis K Jul 15

Thunderstorms

When it rains and pours,
Thunder galore.
Is when I feel at home.
Most safe beneath the world's gaze.
Lightning strikes around me,
Thunder booms above,
But I've never been more content.
Than in the eye of Thunderstorms.

Jul 7

Belle

Permanence

I'm desperately searching
For an ounce of permanence
In a world in which
Everything fades to nothingness