Define speech.
An intimate notion conveyed though words.
A paradox of emotions that freeze time through wisdom.
Judgment drippled over the sidewalks as cars with motionless captivators sit idly waiting for the next green light.
An unintended message said but never felt physically.
Because if words were physical they'd be our means of  reproduction.
And our means of sensual activity.
Although I don't condone to adult misdemeanors halted by 5 years spawned from 15 year old mothers due to the input of 3 utter words of chaos. Three words that could mean life or love.

I love you.
That's the only language I want to speak when I'm with you.
Be it greedy or as still as a ponds serenity when its past 10 and the kids are asleep.
I love you.
And this speach comes naturally
Only when I'm with you.

Like tiny cracks in the cement that spill out on the sidewalk  her smile.
Like chinks in these metal plates reminding me of here intentionally placed flaws.
She is a melody of unforgettable lullabies that sing me to sleep.
Or usher me to greatness.
And I'll never forget her small nods to nothingness that are behavioral, habitual, silently eloquent beauty.
Her hand gestures that splatter on paper like ink.
Violently she covers her face when she's shy like the waves covering the ocean floor.
And her mysteries speak louder than the voices in my head.
That's why when she speaks all I can ever think about is her attention.
Swooning
Lashing out like a child who can't get a second glance on his elementary crush as he moves cities.
I just wish I could move into her heart.
Because her simple nods of beauty.
Her simple eyelashes that quiver when surfaced against her cheeks.
I'm not awestruck.
I'm awe stuck.
Its not her beauty on her skin.
But the beauty that lies within.
And she wears these emotions like a cursive tattoo on her skin.
I'm in love with the simple gestures and habits she may think are natural for everyone else.
Because her small beauties.
Are what makes her most beautiful to me.  

Make my heart warm again.

This voyage.
This wonderous emporium of unimaginable feelings has come to a trifling hault.
The natural hot springs dried up.
And like ever bristle on a tooth brush my feelings have been plucked.
Just my luck.
And maybe it was never the tell tale of an oceans sigh breathing down my heart
Signaling an alarm of emotion ships to sway down a never ending voyage of teenage hormones.
But maybe it was my belief of kept unharmed untouchable innocence treated as untreatable waters for a no mans land to reserve the perseverance perceived child like humor and gestures adults lack.
I'm left sorrowful as the sun without any civilian's to share its rays.
But more like chimney smoke releasing toxic fumes into my mind not realizing the damage they've done to the ozone layer of my heart.
When alas the ships have returned to a now land known not.
And feelings of once no mans land, yet to forever be forgot.
I'll have missed that long journey's trip that tore apart my heart.
And made me an adult.



-I miss falling in love sometimes.

I guess my mirage of happiness was twisted by the turn of a switch. Or it could've been my urge to make someone besides myself the happiest, because to be direly honest, I was tired of being alone. But what I didn't realize, is when you shake hands with the devil you leave behind your soul. Or your love for anyone, because everytime I looked at her I still felt empty. And by this time nothing changed, I wasn't apart of love. I was apart of a game. A game played where the demon has your soul, to mend into a benevolent role, of frenzies feeding from your energy. And I'm sorry I never meant anything. Its just I didn't want to try when trying would've got me hurt. And I guess patience teaches you something. You never truly know someone until you see both sides of them tearing apart your dirt-y, heart free, body. Your eyes can never reach my soul. Because our blissful moments of happiness could never mean anything to your role,
In my lyfe.

I got home and messanged my friends

But I guess I didn't realize I wanted to share my life with you not with them.

And it made me hold my breathe.

Realizing you were all I had.

So I guess I have nothing left.

Let's fall asleep under the same sky.
And wake up buried in each others treasures.

I think the reason you said no.
Was because I was so unsure of my certainty.