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victoria Jan 2018
The creek of my neck
A head tilt to the side
Movements oddly jolted
I’ve become zombified

The day you walked out
My vision was lost
I swore I’d not talk
Whatever the cost

My heart ceased to grow
And took along my soul
Refusing to remember
Or to grow old

But my fortieth year
brought something brand new
No longer felt sadness
attached to you

My whole world changed
The day you returned
A love that grew
A love we both earned

I’m hurt you are leaving
But this time I know
You’re not leaving me
You just have to go
My dad walked out when I was 11. We met 15 years later to talk. And boy did we talk. The lost love was found and 14 years later we are stronger than ever. But I’m losing him again as some of you know. His decision for assisted suicide is fast becoming a reality.... at least we had these last years together ❤️
victoria Jan 2018
Kerosene and the Devil

I would drink up all the kerosene
Until my veins ran sick
and burn to ash from within my lungs
Of which your fire had lit

.....For one more hour with you

I would lacerate my mind
have the devil gobble it whole
Pointless having a mind
when I want to forget
the heart you stole

......After my last hour with you
victoria Jan 2018
The train keeps a coming
But I just keep a humming
I just ain’t ready to open
that door
Getting there.
victoria Jan 2018
Photo of Leonard

I stare and watch your face
as it contemplates
your smile
You are but a photograph
Yet my heart still feels you

After the lense had shut
and the negative lay still
unborn
I wonder if you were
there
how I see you
here
now
Written about a photo of Leonard Cohen. I think it’s still a work in progress. I’m struggling to write what is stuck in my head. Can’t find the words. I’ll keep trying
victoria Jan 2018
We dream dark,
we dream deep,
we dream awake
whilst you sleep.

Reality is our loneliness
Our fantasy is real,
We'll take whatever we can,
just as long as we don't feel.

We live off adrenaline,
we don't know how to not,
We'll do anything it takes,
to make the emptiness stop.

There are many of us living,
but you'll never know who,
We walk, talk and smile,
just like the rest of you.

But our hearts are on fire,
And we need to feel alive,
we're the Clyde to your Bonnie
or the Bonnie to your Clyde.

We only come out at night,
Just as the darkness falls,
there is no point in fighting,
When the darkness inside us calls.

We will jump when we have to,
The stars are ours to take,
We are the writers and the artists,
We hide before you wake.

You'll find us in the shadows,
Hidden behind our dreams,
Our minds dreaming of far-away lands,
Our hearts ripped at the seams.

We are misfits, we are outlaws,
the ones that you don't trust,
But if you're lucky to be one of us,
Our friendship is a must


We can not be tamed,
And we never fall in love,
Unless we find the one,
And only then
We never give up.
Re posting as my tutor is telling me to read this at an open mic night and I’m terrified ***
victoria Jan 2018
I play both roles of us
Whilst lying back on my bed
I make believe you’re lying
within the sheets and the dreams in my head

A few moments and I am lost
In the vision of you and I
Then the ****** ends
Reality sets in
My loneliness returns to cry
victoria Jan 2018
Be the contagious smile
Be the breath of fresh air
Be the one to lift their spirits
Even though life’s been unfair

Be the bold, bright light
Be the glow within the dark
Be the unwavering love
Even with your broken heart

Be this and be more
Show the world a different view
Be unconditional love
And one day it’ll return to you
Happy new year ***
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