I looked in your eyes for something
honestly don’t know what for


but those eyes were blank

and they told me

“what are you looking at?”

with a scoff and harshness

I opened my white closet door

the only light coming from the sleepy sun

it was 5 o’clock in the evening
and the sun was slowly gliding down my
singular gray wall

it was serene

but it’s fleeting presence made itself known to my face and onto my newly exposed clothes

I shuffled quickly through those now orange
tinted clothes
flipping over dresses and skirts

desperately

searching for my favorite hoodie

the green one with the white letters
I bought in OBX the previous summer

a classic


But I couldn’t find it
and the suns orange light was quickly slipping away

And then it was gone

ruffling through the white bag
i found exactly what I wanted

the chips…

my sadness craved it

in the middle of a museum

stood a little glass figurine
with a beautiful face
unconventionally beautiful

the artist sculptured her
after the one whom he loved the most

but
out of all the figurines and art

nobody ever admired her
or took pictures of her

at night when nobody was around
she cried
still as an anything
with little salty sea glass tears
running down her beautiful face

i dragged my feet through the thickest of mud
i scaled the highest of mountains
i’ve starved for weeks on end
i’ve been naked to the the point where i didn’t know i was naked

this battle

all for the approval of someone who will never give it to me

someone who created me, not by chose

I no longer live in joy

I no longer see flowers bloom
or the sun come up out of the clouds

instead

I now feel hurricanes
I now feel thunderstorms

i don’t like living here