am I the only one who's mother never let me cry?
never comforted or held me, never even tried
said it's “not a crying matter,” but nothing ever was
made me learn to trap the sadness in my soul just like she does

I don't think that she was cruel, don't resent her; not at all
I don't think she tried to harm me; she's my mother after all

I think she thought
the bad she did
would lead to something good

I think she thought
that hurting me
meant nobody else would

she protected me
in her own redundant way
her protection was the reason I could never stay

she protected me
by breaking me first
but hearts can be re-broken, and the second time is worse

you close your eyes,
and there you find
a new and different you.

one who's simply never blue,
this is who you want to be,
calm and fun and strong and free,
best of all: happy,
worst of all: happy,

when you see her, all you see,
is the girl you'll never be;
with a smile you try to steal
and a joy you'll never feel.

don't show her - she wouldn't like it,
don't say that - he'll disagree,
“it looks great” now means discard it,
we tell lies to keep the peace.

can we call this peace at all?
all we know is a facade,
trust is short when tales are tall,
social lives now fake and sad.

why destroy what we have made?
why must we critique ourselves?
can we let precaution fade?
the need to tiptoe overwhelms.

for harmony we make a trade,
we all show but no one tells.

please refuse to be afraid,
walk on air and not eggshells

came down with something yesterday,
something queer it seems;
first a fever,
next a cough,
and then came bizarre dreams

it's quite unexpected
to hallucinate so soon,
but I don't mind,
before last night,
I'd never won a snowball fight
at 3am, in June

it was on that faithful night
that things started to go downhill
it was just one teeny fight
so I knew he loved me still

“we quarrel like lovers do”
I thought this to myself
but how could he really think
I would see someone else

that Thursday night was quiet
could feel growing disdain
the whole world was silent and before I knew it
morning came

the way he couldn't let it go
after all was said and done
then and there, I should've
known
he just couldn't be the one

that's just how the cookie crumbles
it was never meant to last
screams of love reduced to mumbles
bringing up the shameful past

he loved me or so it seemed
until on Friday afternoon
“I hate you!” is what he screamed
and in that moment I agreed
from now on I hate you too

A lake that felt pristine,
unusual but not strange,
with red and blue and pink and green,
my conscience rearranged.

soon enough not just the lake,
but all that I could see,
a mirage of different hues,
existing just for me;

violet, teal, azure and white,
and even gray was full of life,
I'd never seen black look so bright,
now the whole world was full of light,

I could do this all day,
so happy I could scream,
and I wished I could stay,
to watch the colors gleam,
but I'd just woken up,
from a multicolored dream.