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Ryan Aug 2021
copy and paste is over and done—we just need alt + 0151 !
use your number pad, make sure it's turned on
Ryan Aug 2021
ruh roh raggy
re taliban ris taking rover rafghanistan!
RAGAIN!
rey say rey want reace
i rink they're rying, raggy!
Ryan Aug 2021
the woodland creatures look with glee
towards the mushroom house
between the marsh and a large, newly fallen log

the window acts as a gateway
for the warm, autumnal scent to fill the air
as the oven releases freshly-baked apple pies

the lady inside sets them on the counter
donning a pumpkin-colored plaid dress
faded beige shoes with silver-tinged buckles

a sneaky fox tries snatching a pie through the window
sensing this, the lady spins around and wags an astute finger
the fox, having learned its lesson, retreats to the back of the line

one by one, the woodland animals each take slices of pie
the squirrels, the deer, the robins, everybody joins—even the fox
and my oh my, what good pies they were

the lady directs them all to follow her to a cliffside
where they sit and eat and listen and watch the calm wind
swaying the leaves in the apple orchard down below

"you see," the lady says, "i picked only the best of the best to feed you today
but to do that, i first had to sift through a lot of bad apples
yet i persevered, knowing that with work, and patience,
things would change for the better"

the fox and the lady exchange glances, softly smiling
everyone stays to witness the sun set over the mountaintops
creating orange-red hues camouflaging with the changing leaves

the forest air was just a little more crisp that night
:)
Ryan Aug 2021
walking in the mall, between a Sephora and a Lids,
"hey buddy! you wanna help feed Haitian kids?"

"why, sure!" i said, "you're in luck!"
strolled over to his booth and gave him five bucks

"now am i able to ask you another question?"

"sure bro" i replied, "you seem pretty ni—"

"DO YOU SUPPORT THE LORD AND SAVIOR JESUS CHRIST?"

"what..
no sir, but i just try my best to be a good person"

"WHY DON'T YOU BELIEVE?"

"well logically there isn't any evid—"

"im gonna stop you right there. let me share a little story"

"man im really just tryna buy a skateb—"

"ALRIGHT SO EVERYDAY ABOUT 6 MONTHS AGO I WAS SMOKIN' CRACK *******.."
this basically happened today. the guy couldn't even pronounce 'catholicism' correctly
Ryan Aug 2021
some people live in chronic fear that right outside their front door
there's a gunman waiting to end them


some of us dream of such things
Ryan Aug 2021
bedazzled in tattoos
he comes through attics
finds phones to steal
he's the phone fanatic!

he's got hands with a face
has all the bandwidth and space
and when he steals in broad daylight
he leaves every possible trace

because the phone fanatic's a phony
stole a phone once and thinks he's a god
we all know he's a one-trick pony
begrudgingly rocking his worn out dad-***
****** probably steals them n shoves em up his *** to feel the only remaining sense of pleasure he can get after his wife left him
Ryan Aug 2021
you're like a q-tip
you think you help by getting the problems out
but really you just shove them deeper inside me and make them worse

it's fine; i was tired of hearing your ******* anyways
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