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Ryan Jul 2021
do you ever just feel
inexplicably happy?
when you just love everyone
and nothing can go wrong

because i felt that way today
and let me tell you, dear reader
you are a loved and valued person
keep the good vibes flowing
and stay strong
thank you for reading
Ryan Jul 2021
my buddy said to add him on pokemon go
gave a string of numbers called his 'trainer code'

zero, nine, four, two
piplup, snivy, and pikachu!

seven, two, four, three
geodude, chansey, and bunnelby!

zero, four, four, seven
i can't think of any pokemon that rhyme with seven
i will send gifts pls add me

EDIT: fennekin is close enough to seven, right?
Ryan Jul 2021
a man came up to me at a party and said
"i don't know how to talk to people"
and with a drunken laugh and a nod of my head
i responded, "bro that's SO relatable"
Ryan Jul 2021
in a land not so far away
people daily sit down and pray
for about an hour, to a higher power

many believe in the Flying Spaghetti Monster
His noodly appendages gracing the world
as goodness comes with each noodle unfurled

others call these people fools!
shouting "no way He's made of spaghetti!"
they think He's made of orecchiette

"spaghetti believers chant worthless cheers!
orecchiette is able to quell all fears
responding to prayers with His little ears"

as tension grows amongst both tribes
violence arises and peace subsides
each sect fights for nothing but pride

and up in the sky, the true Lord knells
She's British and made of Campanelle
staring sadly at the fighting, She loudly yells:

"you ****** lot are all goin' ta' hell!"
Ryan Jul 2021
ducks' ***** dock down dorks' doors dying doing deep dumpster diving, Dorsey deliberated
Ryan Jul 2021
"what in tarnation!"
said the rabbi at the station
discovering that even kosher cheese can cause great inflammation
if god created cheese for our enjoyment, then people with lactose intolerance must already be living in hell
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