if time is money
isn't it funny
we buy our love
at the store

while you're away

maroon threads drape
over and through
joints ache patiently
levelling tension so meaningful
in windows lies the needle hole
tranquil stitches helical
severed off clean
ten hours and a dream
and when you return

home

a box of love
immaterial
a new iphone

there's a bucket in the corner
where all my love is stored
drawn down blinds
reveal the times
i screamed
and cut the cord

harmonica tears
metal burns
when you're near

cold and calculating
the tide goes out
the audience recedes
to leave their seats
facing away

by the time
the bucket
boils over
you're caught
caught in a wave

it's me
standing
shivering
on
the stage

your mother called last night
saying
"sweetie, please come home"

"the walls are caving in
but the corners,
they've only grown"

call your friend
don't talk to me
keep it quiet
it's so loud
so loud
honey, keep it down
baby, shut your mouth
in here it's so so loud
and i'm trying
so hard
to sleep

dollface aren't you drowning
cutiepie cut your shouting
i can't
get no
no peace

nurse says im gonna flatline
heart humming to the bell chimes
can't see the vertices
and i ain't
ain't got no time

empty room swimming sideways

harmonica waterlogged in
chords collapsing on a tailfin
won't even
can't even
blow it a kiss
and even if it could reach
even if i could speak
would i ever
ever be missed

is my pursuit of the absurd
as a restless endeavor
a result of the scars
where my heart's been severed?

back when it was important to be better than everyone else
i neglected myself
what was mental health
but a distraction from goals that couldn't be quelled
hourglass countdown
mousetrap shout now
never again
"never" is when
he grabs my arm
shirt sleeve tearing pieces stored in box
unbelievably his eyes lock with me
as he shows me the clock
it's 10 PM
do you know if your children's interests still revolve around the weaknesses of others?
keep it that way
keep them under your thumb
digging into their skin
blood laden monkeys paw unfurled
it's the only way they'll ever really get ahead in this world
you see, individuality is just a sin
concocted by philosophers
what keeps your maverick apathetic
they call that fabric softener
black water
coffee packed crying in father's cup
we all know how the story goes
the nail that sticks up

two worlds disjoined
your feet far apart
two inches a year
a hundred miles at heart

may you gain courage
enough to choose a side
absolve yourself of this double life
leave the rift behind

may the ash dissipate
so you may see clear
that our love for you stretches
across the lithosphere

it's not your fault
you had no choice
where to begin
but if you must,
show
them
with grace,
the volcanoes within

enslaved by fire
forced to watch, our souls
collective masochism
hive mind tragedies
the hand that feeds
whose existence is ceased
singing no more
melodies, somber
softly if any
a wince in the ether
beacons deceive her
ripples of light
rorschachs of sky
tearing our pages
erasing guests
laugh at,
meaningless

cover my eyes with foil
my ears with lies
cover my arms with birdseed and honey
watch me collapse
as i roll down the valley

my new friends take my energy
and fly away
so carelessly
but i can't complain
it's the way things are
those who come near
will always run far

a heart once gleeful
now i'll never ask for help
im tired of people
and of myself

if the earth is always
moving through space
if every day occurs
in a different place
then why does it all
feel so same

i am stuck to the ground
asking for change