I turned the lights off
there, I saw my soul
sleeps soundly
then I turned it on
my soul woke up
with troubled thoughts,
figure trembling
like a flame,
dancing against the wind-
about to die...

I turned it off back
and to eternal darkness
I dose myself out

It's 3am and I'm still stuck
with day-dreaming
of you in this room
standing naked
before me;

stuck to a question
you asked,
"how would you do me?"
and speechless I was
for such inquiry-

how would I do you
I asked myself
drawing figures of you
tucked on my bed
filled with pleasure
you badly needed;

how would I do you
I asked again
so I moved my hands
to where you're vulnerable
and stretch as far as I can go
reaching your bottom

how would I do you
this question repeats again
so I started kissing
your lips- torridly
down to your *******,
*******,
biting your *******
for excitement overwhelmed me
yet, you showed no pain but pleasure
you showed no rebellion but surrender

how would I do you
and I finally knew;
I moved down
started kissing
and licking
and licking
and lick...
with my tongue,
thirsty of you
and you started screaming
yes, yes, yes, yes
and a smile curled up to my lips
I finally knew

it's 3am,
I fell asleep
stuck to the thought of
How would I do you

Now I do

let me take this flower
you've kept for long
and touch its buds
see the beauty it hides;
you said, awful but wonderful
you said ugly, but one of a kind
you said no- but when I began
all you ever shouted was YES and GO

let me own this flower, you've kept
and I promise to have it watered
night and day

all the lights have faded
I still waited,
for you to come;
to a home you call me
to a place, you said
where'd you wanna be
now it's daylight-
I've waited all night
and all was left
are the memories
of the words you left;
"Darling, I'll be back tonight"

how deep can you go?
she asked, I didn't speak
but kissed her slowly;
******* her-

and the night went right
to where she thought
I couldn't reach

I never had the chance
to tell you
of the things
you should know
but you got me first
by saying goodbye
then left-

we almost had it
but we never did
I guess, almost
means never

My eyes still wonders, how yours are made. How they sparkles and twinkles at night. How they show courage, even though your body's trembling with fear. How they show sincerity, even though you've been cheated and mistreated for many times over-countless that even the hairs on your head are not enough to tell. How they speak with love, even though you've been rejected and neglected. How they show kindness, even though you're misjudged and faked. My eyes, and heart, and mind, and soul- still wonders; HOW YOURS ARE MADE.

I write out of my heart's content. The beats it makes and the music it creates are words my head couldn't take. So, instead of drowning myself in depression- I write, and write, and write, and write; from dusk 'til dawn, between songs of love and loneliness, over the art of life and death, and everything that don't make sense but matters. I write- for if I don't, my heart and mind will burst into colours with your name on it; you'll appreciate its beauty and radiance, yet I'll be losing the life my family and friends' valued for years. So, I chose to write, every time my thoughts catches a glimpse of you- our memories, made together with love so genuine and with promises so broken. And when the time comes you'll end up running, ringing over the door bell of my heart's door, begging- for chances you've disregarded and actions you've regretted and love you've missed for you've chosen yourself over me; I will choose writing over you. For it has not left me through depression and anxiety; since and then.

Just like smokes
from a cigarette
our love felt so good
I could tell
I'm in heaven;
but yeah,
just like smokes
it stayed out quickly
I can't get
a hold of it-

Triggered Letters

I was a captive
Of the words, promises-made
Of the lips, lies incarnate
Of the eyes, opened to discriminate
Of the world, caged within a condemnatory kinsfolk

I was a captive
and my actions were limited

I was a captive
So are the words my tongue exhibits, scripted

I was a captive
So are my thoughts, being dictated

I was a captive
So as my freedom, chained to words
Restrained, shackled, suppressed-

I was a captive
I was weak
I live in fear
I was discriminated
I was rejected
I wasn’t wanted..

I was chased
But couldn’t catch me
I was a captive

I was shot
But they missed
I was a captive

I was poisoned
but survived
for I was immune
I was a captive

I was a captive
I may had
But I am limited edition
I was chaos
Now I’m war-
My thoughts are limitless
Bound to be border-less

I am power
I am strength
I am storm,
Unstoppable, deadly-

I was a captive
But not anymore


Triggered Letters

maybe the time was right
maybe the place was good
maybe everything were ready
but we aren't
that's why we messed
everything up
and had our hearts
and soul
and mind
suffer the maybe's
we thought won't suffice
our needs

Triggered Letters

Water drips from my eyes, flown straight thru my cheeks; shivers- I breathe deeply. Holding every inch of pain I felt in my chest,within, thud-thud-thud-thud, says my heart; a sensation that lingers- battling every strange feeling, living amidst of me. Choking- air came scarce, and so are words left me. Black, darkness reign; and the light you've shone bright- slowly gone, and gone to stealth.

You're alone
Do not think,
You are someone else's world-
You are not
Stop thinking
You are loved

We always looked
at the things
that broke us once
but not
of the things
that kept us whole

let's change our focus
to a future
that is beyond control
yet within
our imagination's call.

what arouses you
she asked-
coffee and poetry,
i replied.
she looked away

with a smile
I whispered
"and YOU"
naked next to me

at 7:30 in the morning
let's eat, she said
and I saw nothing
but her naked skin
and a smile so arousing
then my clothes
began to melt

with a grin
we started kissing
and moaning
our music playing
at 7:30 in the morning