June is the month you took away my heart

It’s been years and I still can’t shake that we are apart

I did find another who felt like a dream

So I sit here and confess to this small little screen

And

Scream

Because every June it feels like yesterday you walked away

I want to forget everything about you

And

That June.

It’s been so long since I’ve wrote.

Life is the same, and I still pretend it doesn’t hurt.

The fact that I’m so different from the rest,
They judge, they fight, they’re so distressed.

I feel simple that I just want love.
I might be crazy, but I swear I’ve felt & dreamt of

Something real, something whole,
Someone who has the other half of my soul.

I always thought acceptance was key
take it as it is
& you'll be free

I say those words
but nothing comes out
How can you accept what is
without a doubt?

The pain digs much deeper
than accepting the hurt
It follows me around
it's stained on my shirt

Sometimes I tread water
Sometimes it weighs me down
The waves come and go
Other times I drown

I tried to write this winter
but it was so cold
I couldn't find the words
I couldn't find my soul

There was no passion in my thoughts
or meaning in my life
The frigid air consumed me
As each day turned night

My hair grew brittle and dull
No comfort in my own skin
My wounds were split open
as I continued to grow thin

The things I once loved
Never seemed so far away
Until I was met by the vernal equinox
and longer became the days

I'd love to tell you about my life
The pain, the sorrow, the sleepless nights
From the pits of my depression
To the fevers of my flu
From the men I've loved
To the heartbreaks that ensued

I'd love to tell you about my life
My love, my ambitions, the things I write
From the demons I've slayed
To the man I wake next to
From my happiest days
To the morals I value

I can't tell you about my life
But I can write it here and pretend its alright

I could burn down the forest
I could burn down the trees
I could curse the sea
Deny reality
and not feel a ****. thing.

I could fight
I could stay up all night
I could sleep
or I could keep
Loosing my mind.

God are you there?
I've fallen asleep in despair
Woken along the edge of a sea
Like nothing I've ever seen

A breeze so gentle
The sun so kind
With water so clear
Untouched by mankind

But the sand began to swirl
and it swallowed me whole
My paradise is gone
and I've lost control

God are you there?
I've woken and I'm scared.