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Lauren Bautista Dec 2018
Sometimes I think I'm over him.
As the tears begin to drip instead of pour.
He crosses my mind less and less,
But somehow, now when he steps the boundary,
It is more painful than before.
I shivered sitting without him
Before I needn't a blanket,
My human heater kept me warm, comfortable
More than anyone else before.
We would sit, fingers intertwined,
Staring into his honey-like spheres,
Like a portal into each other's minds, thoughts,
Farther than most cared to reach.
I understood him, better than anyone else did,
The only one who cared to see the good.
Among arrogance and sarcasm,
I found love, humor, a cuddly teddy bear,
How different he was with me,
With I, he could put away his harsh facade,
Show his warm heart, to me, and only me.
His heart always seemed to glow around me.
The things he'd say and do, perfect gestures,
Things my shy heart was too afraid to.
I was terrified,
Terrified of ending up like the others,
The relationships crashing down all around us.
My words were limited, timid,
Too afraid of messing up, of ruining everything.
At the start he said, "Your voice matters, use it",
I should have heeded his advice.
And he's moved on, I know he has.
My heart trusts too easily and won't let go,
Strangling me inside, creating false hope,
And I know, those pretty hazel eyes,
Beautiful chocolatey locks,
Warm, comforting arms,
They aren't mine anymore,
But oh how I wish they were.
This was written out of pure emotion from heartbreak. It is slightly rambly but still pretty good I think.

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