It’s pretty clear I’m hopeless,
Well I say that because I’ve lost all senses,
I can’t tell what’s right,
Since I don’t live in the light.
All I do is keep resisting

I look into my distance,
And don’t see my death,
Just a hollow boy, my soul had left.
I’ve just gotten bored,
Please forgive me Lord

But I’ve disgraced your life,
So I’m punished with this strife,
I am just a mockery,
It fills me with joy that no one stops me,
So I can drift away softly

You don’t know me,
So don’t compare what’s in my head.
To what I do, my actions are only true
When I’m laying in bed.

You don’t know,
So don’t tell me what’s right.
And say I’m wrong, I know where I belong
It only exists at night.

You don’t,
So don’t tell me I can’t.
All I do is try, so don’t laugh when I cry
And tell me this isn’t what you want.

You,
I don’t hate you.
So don’t say you hate me,
You don’t know what’s true.

Look away, avert your gaze
If you don’t, you’ll be staring at my grave
It’s not your fault, I’m not in pain
I just can’t live like this, I’m always drained
My end won’t be flashy, maybe a bit ******
So please stay, just look away
What you’ll feel for a moment
Is what I’ve endured
So there’s no excuse for tears.

To whom it may concern,
Don’t let numbers define you.
You are much more than a 10
But what do I know?
My liking of you blinds me.  

To whoever is reading this,
Don’t let people walk over you.
You have a higher value than you give yourself
But what do I know?
My liking of you confuses me.

To the person this ends up at,
Don’t let words hurt you.
You are much more than just speechless
But what do I know?
My liking of you silences me.

To you, the one reading this,
Don’t let me tell you about you
You are much more than me
All I know is of sorrow and fear,
But my liking of you changes me.

Can’t crack a smile, when I’m still in denial
This pain I feel, it’s only real
When I hold a knife, and think of my life
But that’s some lie, so I can sit and cry.

Can’t think straight, when I’m still late
I’m just mad at me, it’s driving my insanity
Why am I like this, my life is pure bliss
That’s my dream, teared at it’s ream

Can’t sleep at night, when I can’t see right
Just face it you lost kid, stop tightening the lid
See the fault with diplomacy is
The more you lie about happiness,
The worse it gets, that’s just your sloppiness.

You’re not alone, you just don’t feel at home
Where you sleep, and where you weep
They aren’t the same, you can’t place blame
This is your problem.
So I must take it alone then.

This pain in my chest, It won’t let me rest.
These thoughts in my head, I’d rather be dead.
My blood in my veins, it just leaves me stains.
Why won’t it admit, I just want to quit.
Just let it die, I don’t want to cry
But this knife in my hand, and what’s no longer my plan
No longer harms me, it only calms me.

I sit down with you,
And analyse what makes everything true.
And search for what makes you me,
Cuz you don’t know it yet
But we come from the same problem tree.

I enter the room with you,
And watch what makes you hollow through and through.
And dig to find what makes us the same,
Cuz you don’t know it yet,
But I don’t want you to remain.

I eat with you,
And wonder how we brew the same brew.
And look for what unites us,
Cuz you don’t know it yet,
But I don’t like how we’re on the same bus.

I sleep with you,
And see that you cry what I spew.
And scream for you to leave me,
Cuz you don’t know it yet,
But I don’t like how I’m not free.
Free from you.

Of course I go home with a smile
Why do you ask that?
Is it because I’ve grown tired of lying,
Or because my smile has shrunk,
I don’t know why you would say that.
I am fine.

Of course I laugh when you tell a joke
Why do you ask that?
Is it because I’ve grown tired of trying,
Or because my laugh is quieter,
I don’t understand your question .
I am fine.

Of course I have over friends,
Why do you ask that?
Is it because I’m almost crying,
Or because I feel better alone,
I don’t see your point.
I’m fine

Of course I spend time outside,
Why would you ask that?
Is it because I act like the world is dying,
Or because I say no to all your invites,
I can’t see where you stand.
I’m fine.

Of course I don’t cut myself
Why would you ask that?
Is it because I only wear hoodies,
Or refuse to take my jacket off,
I don’t understand you.
Im fine

The days grew long,
I wish I had the truth
Instead of going along
And  buying all of your lies

The nights grew short,
I wish I had my friends
Instead of choosing you
And leaving un-cut ends

My eyes grew dry,
I wish I had someone else
Instead I followed you
And closed my door to others

The cuts grew deep,
I wish I could stop
Instead this my only path
And I will walk it alone.

My emotions are like a waterfall
I always drop from a high to a low
But when I look at it. I see beauty
My emotions are beautiful

My emotions are beautiful
They are an art, a skill to learn
But when I see them, I see complexity
My emotions are complex

My emotions are complex
They are a closed system, self-hurting
I’ve close the door to my mind
My emotions are isolated.

My emotions are beautiful
My emotions are complex
My emotions are isolated
My emotions scare me.

Looking at my mirror.
I take half the of what people see
And I feel alive
For once.

I take my stolen goods to school
I run with it and smile
Why does everyone like me
For once.

I take my bought lie to my friends
I run with it and laugh
Why do my friends find me funny
For once.

I take my scars home
I run with it and talk
Why do my parents finally love me
For once.

Why don’t I feel alive
Why don’t I smile
Why don’t I laugh
Why don’t I talk
Why is my perception wrong.
Why do others know me better than I do?

Maybe I don’t feel too good
Because when I look at myself
I only see the darkness
So why are other people blinding?

Maybe I don’t feel to well
Because when I question myself
I only find the worst answers
So why does everyone else has a cheat sheet?

Maybe I don’t know anymore
Because I have a knot in my stomach
And it never goes away
So why does everyone feel so good?

Maybe I don’t feel happiness
Because I lost all feeling long ago
And only try to feel pain
So why do you have love?

Maybe I want to die
Because I feel like that I’m not good enough
But that’s just a lie
I just want to leave everyone else.

I walk into my room
Head down, feeling lost
I can’t explain it,
I’m alone in a crowd

I look at the mirror
Eyes lock, searching deep
I can’t explain it,
I find nothing there

I look at my glass
Head up, wobbling arms
I can’t explain it,
I’m lost to the colours

I cry into my pillow
Eyes closed, screaming silent
I can’t explain it,
It’s my last friend

I look at my wrist
Thoughts racing,heart pacing
It’s all bare
But today is not the day.

I can’t explain it.

I feel like I’m held back in my life
I just woke up late, I missed the alarm
And now everyone is living it
While I’m left dust of my achievements.

I feel like my dreams aren’t mine
I just leech of others
And when they remove me from them
I complain that I’m excluded

I feel like my thoughts aren’t true
That my mind keeps lying to me
But I grab them like they’re going out of stock
Even though I know they aren’t true.

I feel like my heart doesn’t beat
It stopped long ago
I’m only held up on a promise
A promise of better

But that’s just another lie.
I like it.

I promised to never do something like this again.
However I sunk into a low like that once more.
I feel the pit in my stomach again
I forget wether it’s blood or tears dripping
In the end who cares
Not me.

With the sun radiating down upon us,
And the waves of learning penetrating our ears,
The teacher asked the knowledge defiant,
a simple question.

And with the quarks on their face
and with the oxygen  in their lungs
and with the water on their  tongues
and with the neurones in their brain.
They turn up blank.

A small chuckle enters this closed system,
The omniscient teacher had triumphed,
And his students sat in a void,
With one hand elevated, with more energy,

The teacher turns back
and with the plan in his mind
and the idea in his plan
and the thought in his idea
and the emotion behind his thought

A large grin appearing in the room
The student had displaced the power
He pushed the teacher into a precipitate slump
And responded to the impossible question.

What was the answer?
What was the work behind it?
How did they come to that?
We will never know,  

Physics is pretty boring

Let not your mind dwell on
such thoughts,
For they dance with morals
And toy with your brain.

Let not such evil images sit
on your soul,
For innocence is a virtue
and you are young.

Let not words harm you
they carry no weight
but can change the row
of a nation.

Let not your fear hide you:
for pain can aid you,
the tale will guide you,
and experience shall tell you
Who to trust, and who to love.

In time,
I’d learn
Not to love you.

Let the past die with faded memories
Let the future hide behind wishful dreams
And let the present haunt us with our lies

I travelled this nation of ours
From North to South, East to West
Waiting for you to waste my hours
I spent it laughing, no need for rest
With a stomach full of drink and heart with love
A mind plagued without lies, a soul with peace
Never standing alone, strangers joined the link
Sun in our eyes, the rain starts to cry
Our sorrows pushed down
Forgetting our truth
And followed
The obvious
And walked apart
And faded away
One looked back
The other
Did not.

Life is beautiful, yet the rain  cries
A man fled and hid under those skies

Running from what he had done wrong
Escaping while the night were long

Shelter appeared under a tree
While time forced life to come and be

Expectations slowed while my blood flowed
Rain poured while the raven  crowed

But it didn’t stop while I was under
The safety of your umbrella