My tormented mind will never rest
I will all aways feel second best
Battered and bruised all throughout my life
Thoughts cut deeper than a knife
I hate myself and I dont know why
Just waiting for the day I die
A lifeless husk just surviving day by day
Praying for the pain to go away
My tormented mind is slowly dying
Every day I feel like crying
Sometime I think I might be insane
Why do I feel this pain
Can't find a way out, guess I'm blind
Trapped inside my tormented mind

We danced I the rain like we didn't care who saw
We had everything and everything but still wanted more
We'd watch the stars that would shine so bright
When darkness would fall you'd be my light
When held eachother we felt more than love
I really should have thanked the god above
He brought me my peace in a world of violence
Hearing your voice brought me inner silence
Thick and thin we held on tight
When I first saw you it was love at first sight
I always hoped we would be together
Neverending this love, not now, not ever

I'm not a fighter I'm a lover but for you I'd hold my ground
Take on any battle that comes our way even if you're not around
And if I came back wounded I know you'd heal my heart
Pick up all the pieces and make it restart

You cry over him but the tears are not true
You never loved him, he never loved you
Wasting time thinking about the past
No matter how it went, you knew it wouldn't last
Why did you do it if you knew it would cause pain?
It wasn't love it was just insane
You thought you could just live a lie
Fake love, fake love, why did you even try?

When you wake up in the morning and you're all alone
You'll find me waiting on the other side of the phone
Sending you my love with texts or still videos I share
I just want you to know how much I care
You're the first thing on my mind every single day
Can I message you some more? Would that ok?

You said that I'm different, I'm just not the same
We both know the problem, it's the drink to blame
I'm not the man you met all those years ago
Turned into a stranger, someone you don't even know
Looking in the mirror, I know this to be true
I became the man I was all because of you
But something just happend, I guess I lost my way
Maybe I'll become that man again.... One day

Life never goes the way you plan
But it's time for me to set up and be a man
Face all of my dreaded fears
Dark thoughts I've been hiding all these years
When you last saw me I was a broken mess
Hiding all of the pain and stress
Look at me now finally I've grown
Not the same man you thought you have known

All of these feeling finally off my chest
Now I know I can lay to rest
I told you I loved you and you said it back
Hearing those world almost gave me a heart attack
Can't tell you how happy I feel
I've honestly never felt love this real
Say it again till it's tattooed on my heart
Because I've loved you since the very start

Let me be clear, you're all that's on my mind
Looking for an answer and you're all that I find
You live through my poems, because I can't tell you to your face
Or maybe I'm scared you'll put me in my place
I want to know how you feel but I'm scared of your answer
It takes two to tango but I think I'm the only dancer
Just be honest and let me know
Or is this a place that you cannot go
Maybe one day we can lay things out
And I'll get to know what you're thinking about

On the radio I heard our song start to play
Suddenly taken back to that faithful day
When we danced all night to that song on repeat
Learning all the words and remembering the beat
The song brought love and joy, sadness and heartache
Maybe listening to it again was a mistake
Even though listening to it maybe be wrong
It will always be our song

Drunk again so I start writing
All these dark thoughts I keep fighting
She starts smoking to cure the pain
Guess we have different prescriptions for pain

I'll never be a perfect man but you make me want to try
I can't promise I won't fail, get knocked back or maybe even lie
Till my back lay broken and I'm falling apart
I will keep trying with all my heart
Fueled by love that you provide me
For you I'll be best version of myself that I can possibly be

Numbing my pain with all these pills
This feeling I get seems to give me chills
Can't be sober to go outside
So behind theses drug I will hide
My mind hates me and I know that well
Or I wouldn't need pills to leave this hell

Eyes can be deceiving, the brain can be teasing
The heart can be healing but also leave you grieving
Feelings come and go but they stick in the mind
Some so strong that they leave you blind
Close you eyes and you'll see clear
The purest answer will finally appear

Does my message come through with these words that I write
When I'm alone in my head, surviving the night
You make me write and write till my page is mess
I can't get over the girl in the red dress

Its crazy how one night can make me regress
I ****** up all my progress
Hating myself for a stupid mistake
Maybe my happiness was all just fake
Maybe I wasn't making any progress at all
Or maybe I'm always doomed to fall
I just want to give up and accept my fate
And let myself be consumed by hate
It's easier to go back to hiding in my bed
Praying that soon I'll be dead

Pain and anger trapped inside
I look around to see nowhere to hide
Words spoken I should no have said
Evil thoughts to leave my head
Regret lingers and plagues my mind
Its hard to move on and leave the past behind
No words can change what I've done
Now I think about it, it wasn't worth it in the long run

I see you're feeling down, it's hard I know
But you can open up to me, and let's these feeling show
Tell how you feel, just let it l all out
Don't keep it in, you can cry even shout
I'm always here if you need a shoulder to cry on
Day or night, I'll be your person to rely on
Keep that head up with that pretty little smile
The pain will end but it might take a while
When you feel low, I'm just a message away
I'll be your person to rely on, night or day

11th of November we stand in silence
And just for a minute we forget all the violence
We pay respect to those who fought
And carry the lessons that they taught
This poppy hold strong, pinned to my chest
Thank you to the soldiers you may all rest

Slowly drifting away from reality, guess I've died
My words are now forgotten whispers, whispers that hide
Though life is an echo of my past that I cannot return to
I pray my words gain new meaning for inspiring you

I haven't wrote in a while and my words fell silent
But the war in my head still remains violent
I've changed so much and come a long way
Pushing through day by day
I've missed these poems, they kept me sane
These poems I write take away the pain

12 years since you died and the wounds still like new
I miss you I miss you I miss you
I was 6 when you was taken form us and the pain wont go
There just so many things I want you to know
Nan really misses you, the love of her life
Why would God take a man from his wife?
Why would God rip you from our family?
Your death really effected me
So many things we never got to do together
As a kid I used to think you'd live forever
All I want is to give you a hug and tell you everything
But lifes just cruel and just takes and takes and takes  
I miss you I miss you I miss you
Please come back

My wrist are bleeding and yet I don't cry
I did this to myself and I don't know why
Maybe it's the pain I hold in my heart
Every since the day you ripped it apart
Punishing myself for how we ended
I hope one day my heart will be mended
And the pain I'm causing myself will finally be ended

I feel like Im writing the same old story
Guy meets a girl in search for glory
One forms feeling and the other doesn't know
Talking till the season change from sun to snow
He tries to tell her about his feelings that hide
Hope she might feel the same way deep down inside
Love letters and poems all about them together
The same old story that will go on forever

I think I've finally ran out of words to say
I've been writing about you every single day
But I'll never write a poem good enough to describe you
The rights words don't exist and I don't know what to do
But I'll keep searching till find the right word
And I'll write the most beautiful poem that you've ever heard

Stop me if I mess this up
But I've been sipping from a heavy cup
You're still looking for what you left behind
Pain and sadness is all your find
Turn around and you'll see me
Pulling you towards where you need to be

She broke me in two
Shattered like glass
Now what can I do?
Will this pain ever pass?
I lost myself trying to please this girl
I will never be the same
Falling deeper and deeper in a downward swirl
Maybe I did this to myself, maybe I'm to blame

These substances make me feel stuff
Is it true or is it a bluff
I don't know
No matter what feelings do grow

Why am I a poet?
Why wright about an emotions if I don't know it
Never felt love, Never been depressed
Or maybe they're feeling I wish to repress
Do my words mean nothing or really hit hard
Is it deep or makes you more scared?

Please forgive me while I write
Lonely thoughts wonder the night
Choking on my sins alone
Sitting on a shattered thrown
Begging for you to hear my voice
Your arrogance was the right choice
Knowing this was my final fate
I should repent these sins before it's too late

I've fallen hard, please don't scar me
All I can ask is what are we
You say we're friends but it feels like more
I've never felt this kind of way before
Youre the madness, I'm the badness, together we combine
All I wish is to call you mine

Your drunken heart told the sober truth
Revealing dark sins from your youth
Even darker sins that currently fill your head
After these truths you speak you wake up feeling nothing but dread
Nothing but sadness clouds your mind
Looking for excuses but there's not answers to find
I'll always be here to make you feel alright
I'll talk you through these lonely nights

I'm not him and hurts me so bad
Its not your fault and I shouldn't get mad
But I know you love him, its why I feel so sad
Why cant you see me, I'm the same as him
Because you don't love me, my worlds so dim
To be the one, to feel you touch
What makes it worse is you know I love you so much
Do you care about how I feel?
You say you love him but is it real?
Hes made you different, hes made you fake
I hate to look, I don't know how much I can take

I speak few words but my soul wont stop shouting
Never ending emotions that my mind keeps on doubting
I can imagine feelings and express them when I write
But when I come to showing them you wont see an emotion in site
Is something wrong or am I broken
This is my cry for help but don't ask me or no word will be spoken

Let me ease your mind before it's too late
How did we end up in this cruel twist fate?
Let your feelings pour
We can fight this war
Sometimes talking can be the cure

Talking to you makes my day
No one else makes me feel this kind of way
I could talk to you for hours on end
When I feel down you bring me to a mend
You make me laugh till I'm about to cry
I love talking to you, I can not lie

I confessed my feelings to you on the phone
Laid out everything that I wished to be know
I cried my heart out, I couldn't take it no more
You're the person I've always been looking for
It's always been you and you said the same
I told you I loved you and felt no shame
My night look dim till I heard your voice
I couldn't ignore if I wanted to, I don't have a choice
You hold my heart with the tightest grip
A girl like you I'd never let slip

Part of me died trying to love you
And now I'm sat here feeling blue
Lost to time I wasted holding onto that feeling
Praying for my self to come back
Please cut me some slack
I keep feeling the same heart attack
Guess its just my way of healing
Blood running out my veins
A shell of my body remains
You left me tied to these chains
This love for you I keep concealing
Hoping how I feel is just a lie
Soundless screams that I cannot cry
Feeling like I'm about to die
Why was your pain so appealing?

Hold me close for this soon may end
But I know you will only ever see me as a friend
Put me down gently and try soothe the pain
Because I know you last words will haunt my brain

The room was full of empty faces when I first saw you
I tried not to stare but I didn't know what else to do
Nothing but a red dress and a flirtatious stare
You saw me looking but didn't seem to care
I watched you dance under the moon so bright
Wishing to talk to you but not a thought in site
Time went slow as you walked towards me
My heart started racing ever so fastly
But just kept walking with not a work spoken
Do I risk talking to you or get my heart broken
Regretting not speaking now my mind is a mess
I will never forget you, the girl in the red dress

I want to write for you
But you're not here
I don't know what to do
Can't see things clear
Please give me a sign
Bring back my light
I want to make you mine
You're the reason I write

There was this girl who I loved so dear
When I held her in my arms I had nothing to fear
We weren't both prefect, we'd argue, we'd fight
But just her love would get me through the night
Even though she's gone I still love her for sure
But it's hard knowing she's not my girl anymore

A heavy weight has be placed apon my head
A dark twisted sickness, I don't want to leave my bed
Thoughts keep growing leave nothing but pain in side
I wish to escape my mind, to run away and hide
How did I got from happy in the morning to almost crying tonight
My minds at war and I'm loosing the fight
I can never tell anyone now I truly feel
Because opening up makes them all too real
I don't want the label that's given to people like me
If only I could open up for people to see
Someone to talk to but I cut my self off
Because if I'm seen as week I'm scared they will scoff
I'm the big strong man that's not afraid of dying
But in side this man is a young boy crying

The pain that linger leaves when suppress
I shouldn't do it but it stops the stress
Make bad decisions that change how I feel
Don't want to feel emotions because the emotions are to real
We live like we know what all these feelings mean
But you can look deeper from what you've already seen
I'm in a shell of my fake self
I know its bad for my health
But being human is condition that requires a little anaesthesia
So we do it and the feelings become part of your amnesia
My mind knows what I feel and I found a way to quit
So I feel less, try less but truly I cant handle it
I'm in sate and all need to is tell someone
Clearly I cant but these words are a start.... I'm done

When I showed you love, you responded with pain
You made your problems mine, it was driving me insane
Why did you make my life hell, with no sign of hope
Ever since I met you, I've been falling down this deep *****
I couldn't take it
The stress you caused plagued me, so much I couldn't shake it
And now you're gone i'm happy, finally i'm free
Never will I take this abuse that you gave to me
Time to say goodbye to life I new
Its over now, finally away from you

How many times can I wright about something I don't feel
When will I ever find something I think is real
Do I know what love is? Or am I just dumb
Feeling that you give me seem to make me numb
I'm lying to myself, I know I don't feel this
I have my moments but its not true bliss
When will I know? I don't mind
Love is a thought I don't want to find

I'm sad all the time and I don't know why
Sometimes I just wish I could just die
Ended, gone, not here anymore
I won't spear you with the details I know its a bore

This is to my friends that I'm glad to have known
We've laughed, we've cried and as people we've grown
Never would I have guessed that I would have met you
Even if our path ends I will never forget you
You've impacted me and changed me forever
We met for a reason, do I regret it ? Never

What do you do when your hero falls from grace
This person is your world, a person you cant replace
A bond so strong formed from respect
Never knew them falling would leave you with this effect
You try to be strong for their sake
Because that's a choice a hero would make
Though they were your light when you were in dark
They have fallen, you must relight their spark

Your beauty is unmatched by any other soul
The beat keeps going from my heart you stole
My love cant be trapped nor kept in any space
You're a masterpiece on gods canvas, nothing to erase
Never before had I seen such a stunning sight
From that moment I new this love to be right
To show you my love is no easy thing
Until that day you look to see a ring