Numbing my pain with all these pills
This feeling I get seems to give me chills
Can't be sober to go outside
So behind theses drug I will hide
My mind hates me and I know that well
Or I wouldn't need pills to leave this hell

Eyes can be deceiving, the brain can be teasing
The heart can be healing but also leave you grieving
Feelings come and go but they stick in the mind
Some so strong that they leave you blind
Close you eyes and you'll see clear
The purest answer will finally appear

Does my message come through with these words that I write
When I'm alone in my head, surviving the night
You make me write and write till my page is mess
I can't get over the girl in the red dress

Pain and anger trapped inside
I look around to see nowhere to hide
Words spoken I should no have said
Evil thoughts to leave my head
Regret lingers and plagues my mind
Its hard to move on and leave the past behind
No words can change what I've done
Now I think about it, it wasn't worth it in the long run

I see you're feeling down, it's hard I know
But you can open up to me, and let's these feeling show
Tell how you feel, just let it l all out
Don't keep it in, you can cry even shout
I'm always here if you need a shoulder to cry on
Day or night, I'll be your person to rely on
Keep that head up with that pretty little smile
The pain will end but it might take a while
When you feel low, I'm just a message away
I'll be your person to rely on, night or day

11th of November we stand in silence
And just for a minute we forget all the violence
We pay respect to those who fought
And carry the lessons that they taught
This poppy hold strong, pinned to my chest
Thank you to the soldiers you may all rest

Slowly drifting away from reality, guess I've died
My words are now forgotten whispers, whispers that hide
Though life is an echo of my past that I cannot return to
I pray my words gain new meaning for inspiring you

I haven't wrote in a while and my words fell silent
But the war in my head still remains violent
I've changed so much and come a long way
Pushing through day by day
I've missed these poems, they kept me sane
These poems I write take away the pain

12 years since you died and the wounds still like new
I miss you I miss you I miss you
I was 6 when you was taken form us and the pain wont go
There just so many things I want you to know
Nan really misses you, the love of her life
Why would God take a man from his wife?
Why would God rip you from our family?
Your death really effected me
So many things we never got to do together
As a kid I used to think you'd live forever
All I want is to give you a hug and tell you everything
But lifes just cruel and just takes and takes and takes  
I miss you I miss you I miss you
Please come back

My wrist are bleeding and yet I don't cry
I did this to myself and I don't know why
Maybe it's the pain I hold in my heart
Every since the day you ripped it apart
Punishing myself for how we ended
I hope one day my heart will be mended
And the pain I'm causing myself will finally be ended

I feel like Im writing the same old story
Guy meets a girl in search for glory
One forms feeling and the other doesn't know
Talking till the season change from sun to snow
He tries to tell her about his feelings that hide
Hope she might feel the same way deep down inside
Love letters and poems all about them together
The same old story that will go on forever

I think I've finally ran out of words to say
I've been writing about you every single day
But I'll never write a poem good enough to describe you
The rights words don't exist and I don't know what to do
But I'll keep searching till find the right word
And I'll write the most beautiful poem that you've ever heard

Stop me if I mess this up
But I've been sipping from a heavy cup
You're still looking for what you left behind
Pain and sadness is all your find
Turn around and you'll see me
Pulling you towards where you need to be

She broke me in two
Shattered like glass
Now what can I do?
Will this pain ever pass?
I lost myself trying to please this girl
I will never be the same
Falling deeper and deeper in a downward swirl
Maybe I did this to myself, maybe I'm to blame

These substances make me feel stuff
Is it true or is it a bluff
I don't know
No matter what feelings do grow

Why am I a poet?
Why wright about an emotions if I don't know it
Never felt love, Never been depressed
Or maybe they're feeling I wish to repress
Do my words mean nothing or really hit hard
Is it deep or makes you more scared?

I've fallen hard, please don't scar me
All I can ask is what are we
You say we're friends but it feels like more
I've never felt this kind of way before
Youre the madness, I'm the badness, together we combine
All I wish is to call you mine

Your drunken heart told the sober truth
Revealing dark sins from your youth
Even darker sins that currently fill your head
After these truths you speak you wake up feeling nothing but dread
Nothing but sadness clouds your mind
Looking for excuses but there's not answers to find
I'll always be here to make you feel alright
I'll talk you through these lonely nights

I'm not him and hurts me so bad
Its not your fault and I shouldn't get mad
But I know you love him, its why I feel so sad
Why cant you see me, I'm the same as him
Because you don't love me, my worlds so dim
To be the one, to feel you touch
What makes it worse is you know I love you so much
Do you care about how I feel?
You say you love him but is it real?
Hes made you different, hes made you fake
I hate to look, I don't know how much I can take

I speak few words but my soul wont stop shouting
Never ending emotions that my mind keeps on doubting
I can imagine feelings and express them when I write
But when I come to showing them you wont see an emotion in site
Is something wrong or am I broken
This is my cry for help but don't ask me or no word will be spoken

Let me ease your mind before it's too late
How did we end up in this cruel twist fate?
Let your feelings pour
We can fight this war
Sometimes talking can be the cure

Talking to you makes my day
No one else makes me feel this kind of way
I could talk to you for hours on end
When I feel down you bring me to a mend
You make me laugh till I'm about to cry
I love talking to you, I can not lie

I confessed my feelings to you on the phone
Laid out everything that I wished to be know
I cried my heart out, I couldn't take it no more
You're the person I've always been looking for
It's always been you and you said the same
I told you I loved you and felt no shame
My night look dim till I heard your voice
I couldn't ignore if I wanted to, I don't have a choice
You hold my heart with the tightest grip
A girl like you I'd never let slip

Hold me close for this soon may end
But I know you will only ever see me as a friend
Put me down gently and try soothe the pain
Because I know you last words will haunt my brain

The room was full of empty faces when I first saw you
I tried not to stare but I didn't know what else to do
Nothing but a red dress and a flirtatious stare
You saw me looking but didn't seem to care
I watched you dance under the moon so bright
Wishing to talk to you but not a thought in site
Time went slow as you walked towards me
My heart started racing ever so fastly
But just kept walking with not a work spoken
Do I risk talking to you or get my heart broken
Regretting not speaking now my mind is a mess
I will never forget you, the girl in the red dress

There was this girl who I loved so dear
When I held her in my arms I had nothing to fear
We weren't both prefect, we'd argue, we'd fight
But just her love would get me through the night
Even though she's gone I still love her for sure
But it's hard knowing she's not my girl anymore

A heavy weight has be placed apon my head
A dark twisted sickness, I don't want to leave my bed
Thoughts keep growing leave nothing but pain in side
I wish to escape my mind, to run away and hide
How did I got from happy in the morning to almost crying tonight
My minds at war and I'm loosing the fight
I can never tell anyone now I truly feel
Because opening up makes them all too real
I don't want the label that's given to people like me
If only I could open up for people to see
Someone to talk to but I cut my self off
Because if I'm seen as week I'm scared they will scoff
I'm the big strong man that's not afraid of dying
But in side this man is a young boy crying

The pain that linger leaves when suppress
I shouldn't do it but it stops the stress
Make bad decisions that change how I feel
Don't want to feel emotions because the emotions are to real
We live like we know what all these feelings mean
But you can look deeper from what you've already seen
I'm in a shell of my fake self
I know its bad for my health
But being human is condition that requires a little anaesthesia
So we do it and the feelings become part of your amnesia
My mind knows what I feel and I found a way to quit
So I feel less, try less but truly I cant handle it
I'm in sate and all need to is tell someone
Clearly I cant but these words are a start.... I'm done

When I showed you love, you responded with pain
You made your problems mine, it was driving me insane
Why did you make my life hell, with no sign of hope
Ever since I met you, I've been falling down this deep *****
I couldn't take it
The stress you caused plagued me, so much I couldn't shake it
And now you're gone i'm happy, finally i'm free
Never will I take this abuse that you gave to me
Time to say goodbye to life I new
Its over now, finally away from you

How many times can I wright about something I don't feel
When will I ever find something I think is real
Do I know what love is? Or am I just dumb
Feeling that you give me seem to make me numb
I'm lying to myself, I know I don't feel this
I have my moments but its not true bliss
When will I know? I don't mind
Love is a thought I don't want to find

I'm sad all the time and I don't know why
Sometimes I just wish I could just die
Ended, gone, not here anymore
I won't spear you with the details I know its a bore

This is to my friends that I'm glad to have known
We've laughed, we've cried and as people we've grown
Never would I have guessed that I would have met you
Even if our path ends I will never forget you
You've impacted me and changed me forever
We met for a reason, do I regret it ? Never

What do you do when your hero falls from grace
This person is your world, a person you cant replace
A bond so strong formed from respect
Never knew them falling would leave you with this effect
You try to be strong for their sake
Because that's a choice a hero would make
Though they were your light when you were in dark
They have fallen, you must relight their spark

Your beauty is unmatched by any other soul
The beat keeps going from my heart you stole
My love cant be trapped nor kept in any space
You're a masterpiece on gods canvas, nothing to erase
Never before had I seen such a stunning sight
From that moment I new this love to be right
To show you my love is no easy thing
Until that day you look to see a ring

Perhaps I got attached too quick
But when I first met you I felt a click
Something in my head made me want you more
The most beautiful girl I've ever seen before
The way you make me laugh is second to none
Who knew falling in love could be this fun
I'd give you the world and more if I just knew how
When I look at you I can only think wow
Hearing your voice makes my heart skip a pace
You're the girl I never want to replace

Been waiting so long for you to be here
I gave up on traveling and just let go steer
Walking me down a path, guided me blindly
So now Im here would you stay with me kindly
This journey have been rough and long
Would staying here a while be so wrong?
Im going to stay if you don't mind
Because you were the person I was trying to find

Looking at you makes me feel paralyzed
You're so god dam beautiful and youve never even realised
An angel questions it's existence when looking apon you
Everything I'm saying you know it to be true
In the universe nothing is made to perfection
But it seems to be you're the only exception

Two lost souls floating through space
An empty love void trying to find their place
Never knowing that they need each other
Searching through the emptyness to find one another
Separate the glow dim, and long lost spark
But when combined they outshine the dark
Maybe they'll never meet but they both Kling to hope
Two lost souls connected by a rope

Put myself down with silly thoughts in my head
Wish it was me but you chose him instead
Am I good enough to even be with you
Or am I a hopeless romantic who hasn't got a clue
Please let me know because I'm dying inside
I've made my feelings clear, I have nothing to hide
But it seems that no matter how hard I try
He has something for you that I can't supply
Push me away before I get to sad
He's getting your love that I wish I had
Don't want to stop trying but my chances look bleak
But you hold the love that leaves me weak

Saturday, Three in the morning, just cuddling and kissing
Some people would rather be out clubbing, I pity them because they don't know what they're missing
Laying here with my girl, got the music volume up high
Got my hands all over her, she so **** I can't lie
Kissing up and down her body, I got not time to waste
Looking at her gets so hungry I need a taste
The music and loud enough so she put a pillow over her face
For being to loud guess I'll have to put her in her place
Five in the morning and we still making the shake
Got her legs wrapped round me don't know how much more I can take
She's saying all the right things, think I'm about to give in
Can't blame me for this God but I'm about to commit sin
A night of passion, two lovers in a state of bliss
Can't wait to spend the rest of my life like this
So give me that pinky and seal it will a kiss

I can see the stars when I'm gazing at you
You've left me starstruck and I don't know what to do
Like I'm in a trance just by your voice
Always drawn to you like I don't have a choice
I'm so in love with you and everything you are
Whenever you need me I'll jump straight in my car
An hour and a half drive doesn't seem so far
If it mean I get to gaze at my star
Drive all night to be right by your side
You unlocked feels I used to hide
Now read this clearly because what I say is true
One day I'm going to marry you
I can't see a world where you're not my wife
You're my shining star, the love of my life
Now give me that pinky and never let go
I love you so so much, more than you'll ever know

We were toxic, yes I know
A love that we should not have let grow
But why am I finding it so hard to let go
I still hold so much love for you
I honestly do know what to do
We weren't perfect and we both had issues
Shed so many tears and used too many tissues
You know if you called I come back straight away
Because you're all I want at the end of the day
I wish we could have worked on our problems and solved them together
Because I still love you and I'll love you forever

When we first held your hand I already knew
I could see myself spending the rest of my life with you
Don't know why I was so nervous when we instantly clicked
8 billion people and I was the one you picked
It felt so right cuddling and kissing
I was a broken puzzle and you was the piece I was missing
This week will drag now I'm back home
But you're here in my heart baby, forever you can roam
And when I see you again I'll hold you so tight
Because this love we share feels so right

I still love you even after last night
I still love you even when we fight
You can be hurtful sometimes and yet I still love you
I can't explain why but I just do
You can be a pain in the *** but I still loved you none the less
I know we had a lot of problems we needed to address
I fell in love with you and now I'm addicted, stuck like glue
No Matter what happened in life I still love you

I keep cutting myself to numb the pain
Because I cant seem to get you out of my brain
Why is my mind destroying me like this?
Maybe if I end it all I'll reach eternal bliss

I feel sad but I cant even cry
So much mental pain, but all I cant ask is why
Why am I like this? Why me?
Maybe its the way life is suppose to be

It was like something from a film, when I stepped off that train
So so many thoughts rushing through my brain
Is this a mistake, will she even like me
Turn the corner and what do I see
The most beautiful girl there ever could be
She hugged me with a grip ever so tight
All those thoughts left me because this felt so so right
After that hug Im certain that I know
This is a girl I never want to let go
I don't need drugs because she is my ecstasy
Life won't be tough when I have her next to me

You say all the right words just to get me going
You look down and you can see I'm growing
It's all yours baby so take it slow
I'm craving you so bad you don't even know
Throw you down on the bed, wrap them legs around me tight
Get ready baby because we're going all night

I'm not just for Christmas, I'm for life
And I can promise you that I'll make you my wife
I'll be here forever and keep hold of you heart
You already stole mine from the very start
My soulmate, my true love, my very best friend
I'll keep loving you tilly very end
Kisses, hugs all wrapped in a bow
I love you more than you'll ever know

I could look at you forever, the most beautiful view
No other girl is matched by you
You're eyes sparkle, Im sorry that I stare
I miss you so much, I wish I was there
Holding you in my arms, I'll never let go
When I look into your eyes time goes slow
The moment we share I want to last forever
I pray this moment doesn't end, not now not never