Time has a tendency to feel like forever and pass by in a second,
13 years have passed since I left last,
Standing in the doorway one last time,
I reminisce as I sit on the floor of my empty room,
Small details I remembered just a few moments ago have begun to blur,

I smile as I look at the pencil marks on the door increasing in height as the years past,
I promised that I wouldn’t cry,
This house,
No; this home,
Helped mold me into the person I am,

The outlines of our hands and the hands of those before us line the crawl space walls,
Marking our place in the homes history,
A spot has been left for the next hands,
So that they to can add to the history,

The family portraits that line the hallways,
Now bare empty holes,
The photos packed away,
Just a memory of what once was,

The kitchen once filled with aromas,
Smells of nothing now,
Thirteen Christmas dinners prepared,
All wiped away with a new coat of paint,

This home I have loved,
And was filled with love has moved away,
So must I,
I say goodbye and thank you,

I drove the ***** like
     I'd stolen her..

Her gps all ****** up..

And afterwards as she
      lay fatigued.

Saying she'd been used
like a wheel spin
                             burn out.

My heart yearns to be heard,
In a crowd of like minded people,
Yet I silence my feelings,
No one cares,
No one understands,

Why do I feel alone in a crowd,
I am social on the media,
I am connected to thousands of people,
But I feel close to no one,

Like this,
Share that,
I fail to understand how it is,
The more friends,
The less I have,

My followers acknowledge my existence,
They comment their thoughts,
But that is all,

I post to be noticed,
Even if it’s just a glance,
The taste of friendship is deceiving,
The first sample is always free,

Then the loneliness begins to settle in,
You cry out for a friend,
They comment their friendship,

Yet no one will come to the rescue,
To busy with their friendless followers,
But don’t worry about me,
Because loneliness is the closest friend to me.

Sometimes when the world is closing in
to unparalleled dimensions and yesterday's
those flaws that crawl and pawn
as if held by an unresistable crab
unable to surface and breath above the waters

The other day stone cold ice consumed me
unable to escape the frosty breath
frozen in a mass of unbroken lakes
uncharmed, controlled by unmoved currents
dellusioned in an inescapable summount

Somedays the ways of the world are unquestioned
overshadowed by an adornment of selfishness
coloured in hues of  spotlighted web
tangled by eroded days of the week
facing changes as an inferno of chaos

You see me,
You hear me,
You feel me,
Yet you do not understand me,

I am not perfect,
My flaws are scars upon my face,
I have tried to face my demons,
But they drown me in my fears,

I am fighting against the tide with pills and distractions,
Yet the waves rise ten feet high,
I have lost my own battles before,

But not like this,
There is nothing to silence the voices,
That only I hear,
The doubts and fears have drained me of my life,

FEARS is who I am now,
He is me,
And I am him,
FAERS

I cry,
Cry for relief,
Yet it never comes,
Anxiety plays me like a puppet,

It’s strings are the fears that I fear,
The man controlling me is no one,
I am cutting the strings slowly,
But I fear many things.

To be honest,
What is it,
We construct promises,
Built solely on hope and lies,
Just to watch it fall...

Is this what honesty is,
Polite lies,
Created for the ease of every person,

Or to hide intentions,
Hidden behind a vail of promises,
Greed, power, fear, personal gain,

I pray I’m an honest man,
I hope that my Lies have not hurt,
I believe that  I did it to help,
I didn’t mean it to hurt someone,

Politicians can easily be blamed,
We are clean,
While everyone else is not,
No one and everyone is to blame,

I ask,
Are you honest,
Or is that a lie,
What is honesty then,