Though i can't see the end from beginning
God, there's nothing that You cannot see
when I can't speak for fear and in weakness
Speak Your calm and Your peace over me.

You are Truth, but tonight
I forgot, you are Light
let my thoughts lead the way
to a darker place.

overwhelmed, lacking prayer
I set sail without care
thought I'd manage alone
since I know Your Grace.

but when storm clouds appeared
it was then that I feared
and called " Lord!-
can't you see that I'm sinking!?"

and that's just how I pray
in the midst of the day
come what may,
I just say what I'm thinking.

My guess is that Jesus was dreaming
when he slept quietly in the boat
No one was needing a thing, at the time,
all was fine, course aligned, still afloat.

No need for Divine conversation,
so why don't You just take a nap?
I'll be snoozing right here, if you need Me, don't fear
by all means, Jesus, we have the map.

We all know how storms blow in quickly
and that Weatherman knew, for He must~
if He wanted, the Lord could have warned them before,
more important they learn how to trust.

And they cried for their Savior to save them
from the monster which threatened their peace
they awakened the Man who said "Do as I AM,
simply speak to the storm, it will cease!"

Though I can't see the end from beginning
God, there's nothing that you cannot see
when I can't speak, for fear and in weakness
Speak Your calm and Your peace over me.

Be on the side of truth, speak boldly what’s true
Said the father to his son, truth you must value.
One day said the father, son let’s go to a movie
Jurassic Park at the Globe would be fun and groovy.
A little recreation is overdue son, what do you say
No harm will be done, if you are off from school a day.
The lad a little trepid said after a reflecting pause
What dad should I tell the teacher as absence’s cause!
Don’t worry son tell him the truth for from the daily grind
A day’s break of a little boy he wouldn’t surely mind.
So they merrily enjoyed the day, the movie was ****** good
Away from lessons and classroom, found the kid in fabulous mood.
But you know about the good times, it’s in them to always rush
The merry day passed quickly, and the boy was back in class.
What happened yesterday, the teacher’s jaws hardened
The boy had to admit it, with truth he was burdened.
I had gone with my father to watch the Jurassic Park
Was enough for the teacher to show his anger’s spark.
You boy bunked class and now tell it on my face
Get out right now and remain standing till recess.
In the class was another boy without truth placed better
He too like our lad had gone to the Globe theatre
When the teacher turned to him asked him what’s his cause
He said he was down with fever without a moment’s pause.
The truthful boy felt pangs of remorse for saying what was true
From that day he learned the lesson that truth would never do.

A blinding reflection
of the sun’s light shot
like lightening flares crashing
against glass towers
turquoise blue drawings
of the sky in structures
with angles and boundaries
climbing high as its
architecture would allow,
thrilled by the terror
of getting right
to the edge
and looking down
was my first step
towards freedom;
towards a tiny movement
in a no fly zone
bent by dreams, purposes
and meanings
now those peregrine callings
and two flying together
are becoming human,
lit with discernment
of a third eye
and an aerial view
I step off the edge,
headed east
into the morning sun
like the hauntingly beautiful
songs of French monasteries
I see clearly,
I am strong
and my body can only rise

the empty glass of earlier red wine
is a temptress beside me as i sit in this chair
subtle sways of fragrance wafting
her beckoning calls out like a siren

isn't that just like a woman to do such a thing?

A black heart as cold as the oceans below
A broken heart left to wither and slow
Did I consider it? The consequence?
Of trying but failing to reach for the sky?
I don't think I ever understood the implications
Of learning the answer to the question why
When I learned the answer my lust for life was killed
My shallow sense of hopelessness was filled
Set back every time and forced to rebuild
My idealism was riddled with holes of misconception
Lies just keep coming from inexplicable directions
And I'm glaringly aware of my every imperfection
Why do I bother to struggle through my days?
Like a rat without a clue I'm lost in the maze
When I hold the map I always choose the wrong ways
And I am too old to think that this is just a phase
This is never ending; this is considered real
There is no room for happiness in what you should feel
I don't think I can live like this
I can't live with the memories of the friends I miss
I can't deal with all of my past transgressions
God doesn't love me because I don't do confessions
I'm not important so I don't get exceptions
I just sink down into the depths of depression
How many times am I expected to fight back?
When do you throw in the towel against the attack?
The attack that forms the very basis of life
A life that is filled with so much terror and strife
Every day beats me down; it's harder to get back up every time
It becomes impossible to convince myself that I'm fine
So my heart turns black like coal from the mines
As my soul finds shelter in a simple configuration of lines
Soon this will be all that's left of me
I will never live up to the person I want to be
Some might label my loss a catastrophe
Remember I told you from the beginning that I was a mess?
From the day you first saw me you knew I was depressed
And we shared and understanding that if I were to go
It would be no ones fault but my own
Please don't try to stop it now
I can't handle what this world has in store
But I promise I will be by your side forever
And you wont have to deal with me anymore
Im sorry if you are saddened by the initial shock
I love you so much and I'll miss you a lot
But the only permanent way out of this mess
The only way to stop feeling so much more less
Is to hang it up at the end of a rope
Until the end separates the pain from my ghost
Out of everyone I hope you understand the most
Because you and I were so close
I don't want to leave you but I've got to go
I can't do this again my heart is so low
Please let me make the journey in peace
A journey with a destination so incredibly sweet
A destination defined by never ending sleep
I want to die, dear, and we both know it was in the cards
We both knew my future was always marred
Don't miss me too much; I won't leave you side
I'll always be with you long after I've died
And on the day that it happens I hope you won't cry
I will be so content to forever just lie
I dont deserve anything i have any way
I dont deserve the promise of another day
I dont deserve friends and i dont deserve you
So I think that dying is the best thing to do
Killing myself will be easy
Leaving you will be harder than you know
But I'm finally beaten down and broken
I'm sorry but I've got to go