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I read a quote somewhere that said,
"I don't know how many times I have survived myself, without telling anyone else."

And I felt those words shoot through every nerve in my body. I felt them so deeply.

And I wonder how many of us feel the same way.

How many nights we fought off the suicidal thoughts, the urge to cut, the urge to purge, the urge to run or to hide out, alone, too afraid to worry or bother our friends and family.

How many days and nights have we all suffered in our own darkness alone?

People like us fight a battle no one can ever fathom because it's a battle no one can see. And we don't let them.

I've fought myself and survived myself alone so many nights.

There were nights I use to lose my own battle. But some how still came out alive.

I guess that's how we keep going. Because every time we give up we come out stronger.

You fight yourself and beat yourself up for so long that eventually you become a master of surviving a war.

We're warriors.

"I don't know how many times I've survived myself, without telling anyone else."

Tonight, I'm telling all of you.

I survived myself.

And if you're still here and you're reading this, you survived yourself too.

It's not easy but you did it.

And I'm so proud of you all.
The original quote "I dont know how many times I survived myself, without telling anyone else.", which triggered the whole poem was written by @deadwatered. A talented poet I follow on tumblr.
 Sep 2018 Maia
Caitlin Nesbit
Alive
 Sep 2018 Maia
Caitlin Nesbit
Crack the surface,
awaken the spirit inside,
make these catatonic feelings
once again alive.
 Dec 2016 Maia
nivek
the sky comes down and shares my table
blue frock with yellow Sun
we sit in silence together, old friends
somewhat in love, somewhat at odds,
as all old friends we have travelled far
shared rocky road and smooth path
the sky comes down and shares my table
blue frock with yellow Sun
we sit in silence together, the stillness welding
us into one.
 Dec 2016 Maia
Nat Lipstadt
~

~ for my knowing friends~





~~~
so simple the notion,
that healing's potent potions
are non-directional portents
coming at you
like a Bob Dylan, Avettt Brothers,
rhythm and rhyme,
tunes injected from the outside knowing,
from the first time
that they were residing inside,
all the time

in, on and under the skin

the conflicted battle rages between the
coursing forces of

I believe

and the low grade infection, incurable return of

faithless disbelief and irreconcilability

a parental entry knowing,
despite different routes of administration,
there is no pharmacology for a limb lost,
any prosthesis healing supplanted
from without,
never achieves
anything approaching next to normal

but from within,
the heart can heal itself,
trying a natural bypass,
doing its imperfect best
to correct the uncorrectable,
resigned to accept the unacceptable

the slight edge felt from
cutting a garden's new growth for replanting
an act of belief in the future,
witnessing a sunset's nightly color sky's return rebirthing,
knowing, admitting to oneself,
that miraculously better than all ever seen prior are

medicines that come from the outside,
and inward bound daily injections,
they are:

"healing, from the inside out...
just as it was meant to be!"
Warning:
any message you send
can and will
be turned into a poem

"this healing, from the inside out...
just as it was meant to be!"
SE Reimer
 Dec 2016 Maia
nivek
Sidewinder
 Dec 2016 Maia
nivek
Smooth as a belly of a snake
a Sidewinder across the sand
quicker than a strike with fangs
this tongue flashes to defence
as if this serpent had something
anything worthy to defend
one good deed, one good word
one moment of constancy.
 Dec 2016 Maia
nivek
a need to re-calorie the mind
read deep into the early morn
a strange companionship in the dark
aloneness full of possibilities of poetry.
 Nov 2013 Maia
Fah
wednesday morning
 Nov 2013 Maia
Fah
i-
swallowed a bunch of love seeds
and they grew into a few different shapes
i -
knew not what was what or how was how
i-
tended a few and the rest fell apart
i-
shared the bounty
trying to spread the blossoms that fell
i-
learnt again
that not everyone likes the smell of flowers
but perhaps
noticed
they
needed them the most
i-
don't mind playing the fool
for learned truths are not easy to come by
and
i-
sunk the battleship
in favor of having an artificial coral reef
so that
i-
can whisper secrets to those who don't mind stopping to smell the underwater daises
.
trenches are deep
the ocean is unexplored
save for 5% on these close close undulating shores
i wonder what is at the heart of hearts?
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