I keep this bottle of pills, filled up to the brim. And I leave them on my nightstand.
I keep the small container without stealing any
Even when my head is throbbing so hard, I can hear my pulse deep inside my ears.
But I keep them; so if I ever want to taste them all in one setting,
The option is there.
I don’t plan to take these pills. I just have them; just in case.
Because you can’t plan death, you can’t sit down one night and say, “I, want, to, die.”
It doesn’t work like that, depression isn’t that simple.
It’s not an impulsive act or feeling; it’s a build down.
And I say build down because it sure as hell doesn’t make you feel good about yourself.
It piles in your head, like ***** laundry that’s been there for days and sits around the floor,
Because you can’t get out of bed.
It adds up, like miles on that old car that seems to cost a fortune every week but you can’t afford a new one.
Because if you could, maybe you’d leave your pillow and see the world,
Travel. Away.
Like a cross country road trip, pushing pins into a board, marking all of the spots in the world you want to stop and see.
But if my arm were a highway, and these straight lines my tourist spots, my blade would be my car.
It’s not a Cadillac or an SUV. It’s been used,
Back when I actually gave a **** about what I looked like.
I don’t cut slashes in my wrist anymore
As if I was a four year old erasing the white ink from her canvas, coloring with a silver crayon.
And I may be lying when I say,
I don’t have a razor blade hidden within the drawer.
Because  I keep that thin, shiny piece of metal that pulls so easily against flesh,
Because,
Maybe someday I don’t want to relapse and start over.
I want to succeed.
But that isn’t something I can plan.

I remember when game consoles were for gaming
and phones were for calling people.
So, I must inquire: what the ****?

You've got all these people exclaiming their creativity
and all these people ******* on about the special value of a person
but you'd never see any one of those people acting as if what they were
saying was true. Never would you see the popular guy go and talk to
the lesser girl. Never would he know her past her name. He wouldn't give
a **** either way about what made this miracle of a human being who she
is today. He couldn't care about how tough things are getting or
how lonely she is or how she feels about his eyes or how she longs
to make love with his soul.
You've got people claiming purity and innocence and how they
would never dare stoop so low as to degrade another human.
Put your clean hands out to the world. Show them how much
you've been scrubbing. But when the lights go out and nobody is
watching, all of those pretty people get together in their pretty world,
to laugh at all the rest, while they **** like a bunch of animals and
talk about how many drugs they've ingested within the past three days.
We wonder about the human condition. Why things are the way they are.
People crying everyday because of being treated less than human.
That is such an incredible amount of *******.
Want to fix something? ******* DO IT ALREADY!
You want to change your life? Want to say, "It's too hard! I can't! Life *****!?"
There are people dying everyday, praying to gods they don't believe in, just
for a few more seconds on this earth. If you want to change your life,
go talk to that guy who's crying. Go ask that girl about what her real passion in life is and what she'd rather be doing.
Go get to know somebody. Go and really get to know somebody. Inspire somebody.
Be somebody's reason to get up in the morning. Be somebody's reason to stay up at night.
Be somebody's reason to not give up on themselves. Be a savior. Care. Just please care.
Tell them that they should do the same. Change is not always something to be done alone.
Changing the world is a process that involves the whole world itself.
Don't just say how great you are and go on about how everybody has worth. Show somebody.
Mean it with all of your heart. I swear you're bound to make a few friends along the way.
I swear you will save somebody's life. And I promise with all of my heart that somebody will save yours.
Make a reaction. It has to come full circle.
And YOU if you're still reading this. Thank you. Really.
If YOU need somebody to talk to, talk to me. I'm here for YOU I mean it with every fiber of my being.
I love you, whoever you are. You don't have to be alone.

Finally, some ******* weather!

It's sorta depressing,
though in a rather funny kind of way,
being single and studying the Kama Sutra
as I have been
that I may adequately worship
the Temple of One I may encounter
who proves to be worthy
of such tactful exaltation

As soon as you're born, they make you feel small
by givin' you no time instead of it all,
'til the pain is so great you feel nothing at all;
A working class hero is something to be
A working class hero is something to be

They hurt you at home and they hit you at school,
they hate you if you're cleaver, and they despise a fool,
'til you're so ******* crazy, you can't follow their rules;
A working class hero is something to be
A working class hero is something to be

When they've tortured and scared you for twenty-odd years
then they expect you to pick a career
when you can't really function, you're so full of fear;
A working class hero is something to be
A working class hero is something to be

Keep ya doped with religion, *** and T.V.
and you think you're so clever and classless and free
but you're still ******* peasants as far as I can see;
A working class hero is something to be
A working class hero is something to be

There's room at the top, they are tellin' you still,
but first you must learn how to smile while you ****
if you want to be like the folks on the hill;
A working class hero is something to be
A working class hero is something to be

If you wanna be a Hero, well, just follow me.
If you want to be a Hero, well, just follow me.