Everyone things differently
I know this
Always known this
But sometimes I have to remind myself
I have to tell myself again and again
"They don't thing like me"
Because sometimes I forget
Well not forget
Just think that somethings are universal
It's those times I think like that
That I be reminded
Because almost no thought is universal
Almost no thought is in everyone's favor
It may be common
It may be thought often
But no thought is universal
I have to remind myself of this
I have to
Or it hurts more
It hurts when I think one way
And know others don't
When I think things should be one way
Yet see them go another
When I think someone should be there
But they're not
Every time
Every single time
The only thing that keeps me going
Only thing that keeps me from breaking
Is reminding myself
Reminding myself that they don't thing like me
I'm sure there are people agree with me
I know there are
But not everyone I meet will think the same
Not everyone will see the same thing
You can show two people the same thing
And you'll get two different perspectives
You tell two people you'll always be there for them
You'll get two definitions of always
One may think it means for a long time
The other may think it means being there 24/7
You meant you'll be there when you can
Yet all think always
That's why when someone tells me one thing
I have to learn their definition
So I won't hurt too much when it doesn't match mine
And so that I remember their following through
Just according to their definition
Not mine
Because it hurts less
Because it easier this way
I just have to keep telling myself
Reminding myself
Reminding myself that they don't think like me

I'm the sum of all my parts
I'm what you get when you put the pieces together
But all these parts
All these pieces
Are "too" something
Never the right amount
I'm "bossy"
Meaning: I'm "too" assertive
I'm a "complainer"
Meaning: I'm "too" opinionated
I'm not sexually attractive
Meaning: either I'm "too" ugly
Or "too" fat
I'm "complicated"
Meaning: I'm "too" much of a mess to deal with
I'm "friendly"
Meaning: I'm "too" close to ever be considered
I'm so many things
Meaning: I'm "too" me

My hands look different
My feet look different
My ankles look different
My face
My hips
My wrists
My thighs
My calves
My arms
My everything!
My everything looks different
Some of it feels the same
Feels like mine
But some of it doesn't
Some of it feels weird
Looks weird
Doesn't feel like mine
I feel like I've lost part of me
I feel like I'm missing pieces
When I don't look at most of my pieces
I feel fine
I feel like they're mine
But when I catch a glimpse of them
When I see then in the mirror
My hands
My feet
My ankles
My face
My everything
They don't look like mine anymore

You strolled through my walls
Danced passed my defences
Were invisible to my alarms
You managed all this
Without even knowing
Without even trying
You're a unknowing thief
But a thief none the less
You stole my heart
My broken
Beaten
Heart
As bad a shape as it is
You don't seem to mind
Though you don't realize you have it
You have seen how bad it is
And you've been piecing it back together
Piece by piece
Like a jigsaw puzzle
You're sowing up the tattered seams
And making me whole again
You're my cute little thief
And I don't mind that you stole my heart
You seem to take better care of it than me
You disagree
When I'm negative
You cheer me up
When I'm down
Whilst I am ******* my heart
For mistakenly thrusting
You seek to nurture it
For still being somewhat together
You stole my heart
But I don't want it back
I'd rather have yours
So you better watch out
I'll be stealing your heart soon
My cute little thief

Just when I think you are
You're not
I'm on a roller coaster
Your roller coaster
A roller coaster you're making as you go along
And I'm strapped in with no way off
You don't even realize what you're doing to me
You bring me up
Plunge me down
It makes me so scared
I'm not afraid of the ups and downs
I'm afraid you'll one day stop
And I'll just fall
I don't thing I could survive that fall
I can barley survive the downs
You don't even know you're doing it
You just go on your merry way
Not realizing you drag my feeling with you
I don't know how to cope
I've never had to before
I've had crushes
But not like this one
You make me so nervous
More nervous than I've ever been
I just don't know how to deal
To act
To feel
To be
You're tossing my up and down
Up and down
I can't handle you
I can handle anyone
Just not you
You've thrown me off
You make me go at your pace
No one ever takes me by their pace
But you of course
Why do you do this to me?
How do you do this to me?
I'm confident
You make me humble
I'm loud
You make me quite
I curse like a sailor!
You make me sound like a nun
I'm not a person to **** with
You make me as threatening as a kitten
I'm the biggest ******* *****
And you make me a child!
I'm intelligent, despite my crude language,
You make me feel an imbecile
Nobody has ever done this to me
I never let anyone
But somehow
Without my noticing
You do all this
I wasn't expecting it
I wasn't expecting you
You slip passed my defenses
Not tripping a single alarm
Dancing your way passed my walls
Taking my heart for your own
Without even knowing it
Not even trying
My cute little thief
How do you do this to me?

You hurt others, others hurt you
It's simply the human thing to do
We learn from the pain
Let it keep us sane
We are who we are
The proof in every scar
Each one has a story to remember
Like that fight sometime in November
Or that yelling match with your mom
The time you just couldn't stay calm
We keep that pain in our mind
It could make us bitter, or kind
We either don't want others to feel the pain we did
Or we take it out on other, thinking our pain is hid
We learn from what we feel
No matter what it is, its real
Thought others may not think it's that bad
It doesn't change the fact it makes us sad
The pain we feel tells us we're alive
It propels us to break free and thrive
We learn from pain both big and small
We learns the lessons, we remember them all
Pain is a part of life
It's the ever present strife
The feelings keep us sane
We learn from the pain

We say things
Deep things
Things we wouldn't
Or couldn't
Say to the people we know
To people who are basically
Strangers
We say them because we know
Feel really
That they can be trusted
That they won't judge us
Judge us like the people who know us
They listen for the sake of listening
We feel that they will understand more
More than people who know our background
We bare to them our hearts
Because we know they won't hold it against us
They couldn't
They don't know the people we know
Know the places we speak of
Sometimes we don't even mean to
They just ask us "What's wrong?"
Or even "How ya do'n?"
And we tell them all our inner demons
All our painful secrets
And all our tails of woe
We don't know if we'll know them past that
All we know is that someone
Someone who couldn't hurt us
Heard us
Let us unload our sorrows
And unburden our shoulders
We say so many things
The things you say to the people you barely know

I always thought
They didn't care
They did
They still do
I thought after we fought
They were done
They weren't
They're still not
I thought if I washed my hands of them
They washed their hands of me
They didn't
They still don't
I thought I knew
What they were thinking
I didn't
I still don't
Not completely
But my older brother did
And still does
He knew how hurt they were
When I thought they didn't care
He knew how sad they were
When I fought them all the time
He knew how they didn't want to let me go
When I made they separate from me
I didn't know
So I thought so many ugly things
I didn't know
They sometimes watched me sleep
Thinking how proud they were
I didn't know
They always checked up on me not to smother me
But to make sure I was always okay
I didn't know
That all the times I thought they were overprotective
Was because they were scared of bad things happening to me
I didn't know
They loved me so much
Or cared so deeply
I didn't know
All these things
I still don't know a lot of them
But he knew
He still knows
The things the youngest doesn't knew

I fell for you
Fell hard
I don't want you to know
Because you'd feel bad
Bad that you can't return my feelings
Bad that you might hurt me
Bad enough that you'd pity me
And try to make something between us
I know you would
Because you're just that kind
Just that innocent
I know your type
I've seen them before
The type that stays with a girl
Just because you don't want to hurt me
The type that says nice things
Just to make her happy
The type to say yes
Just to keep things calm
I'm not saying your too weak
Or too scared to say no
Just too nice
I can't let you do that
It's not your fault I fell in love

My cute
Adorable
Naive Saint
I love you
I really do
But I'm a
Crude
Nasty Demon
I could never bring myself
Or let you
Get involved with me
I'm *****
You're pure
I have the vocabulary of a sailor
You speak oh so modestly
I think badly of people easy
You thing everyone's good no matter what
While I vent, *****, and moan
You blame yourself and think you need the change
As quick I am to condem
You are forgiving
You are everything I once was
Always kind
Forever forgiving
Naively sweet
Adorably innocent
Things I never be again
Not after all I have seen
And done
I fear that if I were to touch you
You would slowly become stained
Like me
I can't do that to you
You're too special
I can't
I won't
I know that if you knew how I think
You'd take pity on me
You'd let me take advantage of your kindness
And not think anything of it
It's not fair of me
But I love you
It's not right
But I crave you
Your laugh
Your voice
Your sweet words
Your kind heart
Just you
I haven't fallen this hard for someone in so long
Not since the one who made me this demon
I had all but forgotten what it felt like to love
To feel giddy at the mention of a name
To feel nervous at the sight of a face
To feel giggly at the sound of a voice
You saved me
Saved me from an unfeeling numbness
I thank you for giving me those feelings back
My thanks will be not acting on them
I feel that if I were to act on them
Then I would be a disgracing them
And you
I can't
I won't
***** you
I couldn't do that
Not to you
My naive Saint

I haven't loved in so long
Not even a crush
My stomach has had no butterflies
Nor has my head become light
But you come along
Dance with me once
Chat with me a little
And the butterflies come to life
Tears of joy swell in my eyes
Thoughts of you swim in my mind
And my heart dances at the mention of you
What am I to do?
What shall I say?
I don't know how to be in love
Not anymore
Not in years
What to do
What to do
You're not like anyone else
Or at least not to me
You listen
Really listen
You speak
Meaningfully speak
I'm at a loss as to what to do with you
You are an oddity in my life
And I don't want you leave
But I don't know how to make you stay
I'm lost
How did you do it?
Who are you?
I don't even know
I've know you for mere days
Yet still you've turned my world
Utterly
And completely
Upside down
You are of a different kind
Who are you?
Better yet
What are you?

Why does it feel like when you sign a yearbook
You're admitting that you might never
See it's owner again after you part?
It feels as if you're goodbye
Rather than see ya next time
It almost feels like for every word written
There is a tear to match it
As you pour your feelings
And memories onto the page
You are silently whispering
Possibly the last words they'll ever hear from you
The yearbook stands as your final goodbye
Even if its not the very last moment you see them
It stands as something they can show their kids when messing about old times
That can look back upon in old age
That can reminisce with when lonely
And say
These are the people I knew
These are the people said goodbye to all that time ago
The yearbook is a symbol ending
That is to be celebrated as well as mourned

Would you rather to have loved someone
And lost them in someway
Or to have never loved someone at all
And never have felt the passion
I would rather to have loved and lost
Only to be able to know I have know the passion
Experienced the care
Felt the touch of love from another person
I can not say I know what it would be like
To have never loved at all
But I feel it would be sad
There might be a void
An emptiness
That only love could possibly fill
But like I said
I can not say I know
Because I have loved and lost
And feel better for it
I have felt the sweetness of love
And teased the bitterness of loss
Even with my loss
I gained much
I gained the fond memories
And knowledge of love
That I would have never gotten
If I was too afraid to loose
That I never loved at all

I love you
I really do
So I can't stand seeing you like this
I can see it in you eyes
That look of love
That look that I'll never get
But she gets it
So go get her
I love you
And you love her
I'd rather see you happy with her
Than lonely with me
Please go get the girl
Win her heart
So at least I'll still see your smile
We can stay friends
I might even be friends with her
Just please
Stop hesitating
Go get her!!

I fall in love easy
I fall in love fast
I fall in love truly
Knowing it won't last
I fall in love without purpose
I fall in love at the drop of a hat
I fall in love helplessly
With the instincts of a stunned cat
I fall in love with their charm
I fall in love with their looks
I fall in love so often
Their name's could fill books
I fall in love not caring at all
I fall in love that's not meant to be
I fall in love without them ever knowing
Letting the secret die with me
I fall in love recklessly
I fall in love with raw feeling
I fall in love knowingly
That the aftershock will send me reeling

People watch you
I'll admit they do
You think it's cuz you're hot ****
But that ain't it
To them you are a tragedy in motion
And they're the crowd watching the commotion
You're in a downward spiral
If it were a video, it'd go viral
Signs of intelligence can't be found
You talk only to make sound
You should never have stepped up to me
Because I'll show you a cruel I can be
I may look all nice and sweet
Be my temper can't be beat
This is the only warning I'll give
Leave me alone and some of your pride may live

Ever look at your mommy or daddy's wrist
And see that big watch?
Ever notice lots of adults have 'em?
They're usually big and eye catching
When you're a child
Your wrists are free
You don't need time
Your parents do
But you don't
You barley what the time is
So how can you be bound by?
When you're a teen
Yourr wrists are filled with your personality and are still free
You start to care about time
You notice the clocks
Because you're parents don't watch then for you
You keep more of your own schedule
But do you need to always know the time?
When you're an adult
Your wrist has room for only the watch
You run on time
And time runs you
No one is making sure you get there on time
You start wearing a watch
The watch
It's the one that's always there
The one that keeps you in time
The one that shackles you to schedules
The one that makes you realize
I'm an adult, I keep time, and am kept by it

I was the third and last born
I am the only girl
I am given what I want
All the time
I don't think about it
I ask and I revive
Most of the time
I didn't mean to be selfish
I just noticed it one day
I'm trying to break the trend
But it's proving quite difficult
I'm spoiled
But not by choice
I ask for things
And they but my love
I hate being this way
Sometimes I ask for silly things
Just to take it back
Because I know they'd get it for me
Just because I want it
I want to earn something
Be able to say
"I worked for this"
They just give
Never letting me earn
It may sound nice
But it's not
It feels empty
And cheap
I'm spoiled
But I'm trying not to be
I'm spoiled
But not by choice

My heart's been stabbed
Hurt
And broken
Not by love
But by life
Life was too much for my heart to bare
So I locked it up
And through away the key
I locked it so no one could reach it
No one
Not my parents
Not my peers
Not even me
It stayed like that for so long
Until you came by
You made me feel again
You busted the lock
And made yourself at home
I'm not joking
You bushed in
I don't think I can ever lock my heart again
You made me strong enough that I don't need to
You barged into my life
And knocked down all the walls
And broke all the locks
You did what no one ever did
You loved me for me
With all my oddities
My insecurities
My meanness
My everything
I know you'll never read this
But thank you
From the bottom of my open heart

I'm Broken, But Not Shattered
I've lived for what seems like a long time
To me, who has been alive for 17 years
I am older than I have ever been and have been broken before
To my parents, who have all but forgotten their youth
I am young and have experienced little to no trouble
To my grandparents, who can barley even remember me
I am such little child that I couldn't even fathom pain
To world, who only knows me by my age
I am the source of so many problems
Sometimes I wonder if the pain I feel is real
I mean real to them
Because I know it's real to me
I cry
I feel
I hurt
To those around me
My is trivial
It is nothing
But I have been broken
I have had my heart broken
Not even by love
But by the world
By my parents
By my peers
I have been broken
My parents have showed me
That there is no unconditional love
Nor is there true
My peers how taught me
That he world can be cold
And unwelcoming
I am 17 and broken
But I am not shattered
I will pick up my pieces
And I will make a better and stronger
Me
I may have been knocked down
But I will rebuild
No matter how broken I am
I will not but shattered
Not by my parents
Not by my peers
Not by anyone
I am broken
But not shattered
I will build myself up
So strong
So high
That no one can deny what I feel
And no one can make me feel like that
Ever again
I am broken
But I refuse to be shattered

We are all dying
Life is a symptom of death
Just because you're alive
Doesn't mean you're living
It's a morbid thought
I know
But it's somehow true
It's like the saying
"This too shall pass"
It's morbid
But true
Do you wake up in the morning
Just to go back o sleep at night?
Or do you wake up in the morning
Ready to cram as much live into your live
As you can before sleep forces you to rest?
Do you sit on the sidelines of life
Watching the other people live?
Or do run into the center
Experiencing life with them?
Are you the wallflower?
Or the mixer?
Are you just alive?
Or are you living?

My man has to be strong
So he can carry our kids to bed
When they fall asleep out of their rooms
My man has to be kind
So he can offer support To them
When their sad and I'm not there
My man has to be hardworking
So we can not only support each other
But give them happy lives and good examples
My man has to love
Not only me and my oddities
But our kids and their mistakes
My man has to perfect
By being imperfect
And having quirks that make him fun
My man has to be accepting
Of all my love and support
And their giggles and laughs
My man has to be out there
Because I won't settle for less
And I don't mind being alone

Everyone thinks I'm happy
Thinks I'm always smiling
But I'm not
I frown
A lot
People don't get it
I don't think I have the ability to be happy
Without someone there
Someone to smile for
Someone to make me laugh
Someone to talk to
I feel sad
Most of the time
The saddest thoughts
Are thought
When I'm alone
When I have no one to smile for
No one to make me laugh
No one to talk to
I'm sad
When I'm not near people
I'm sad
I don't even know
Why
I try to be happy
Try to have the capacity
The ability
The motivation
To be happy on my own
But I can't
The smile feels fake
The laugh sounds pained
And I can't tell anyone about it
If I do
They'll see me differently
Like some...thing
They need to tiptoe around
Frightened
That the wrong thing will send me to tears
To be honest
That happens
I cry
Cry for no reason
Cry where no one is looking
Cry whilst hiding behind a computer screen
None of you know me
None of you could
None of you can look me in the eyes
You can't look me in my red tear worn eyes
With your post sob story pity ridden eyes
Eyes that make the pain worse
Eyes that bring me more tears
Eyes that I just can't stand
It's not that I'm not happy when I'm alone
It's that I can't be happy when I'm alone
Not only that
I take time to be able to smile again
If I spend too much time alone
Unhappy
Not smiling
I take a while
To smile for someone again
To laugh without it sounding pained
To talk without seeming depressed
I wish so desperately to be happy
Without anyone there
Be happy when I'm on my own
But I can't be happy when I'm alone

If you don't like prom
You make anti-prom
The "stick it to the man" statement
But in that statement
There is a silent note
It could be that you wanted to go
But couldn't
Wanted to be asked or ask
But wouldn't
Felt a longing to see it
But were too scared
Anti-prom makes a statement
Not always the one you want
When you label anti-prom
You somehow label yourself
If you just don't like the prom
And honestly don't care
You wouldn't feel the need
To stage an anti-prom
You just wouldn't go
Or maybe just had a party
Not saying it was anti-prom
Just having your friends over
Anti-prom is a silly cliche
That tell the world
"The prom hurt me in someway"
Though I am tempted to stage an anti-prom
I know the statement I'm making
I'm saying
"I'm a little too scared to go to prom"
I admit it
I do
Anti-prom
The biggest cliche
Next to the prom itself

Image
Image
Image
That's all you care about
You care I'm I'm too fat
Too skinny
Too this
Too that
You don't love me for me
Even though you're supposed to
You're my mother after all
Image
Image
Image
You want me to look your way
My hair
My nails
My style
My whole being
The way you want it
When I rebel
Be myself
You say you love me
Just the way I am
But it's a lie
I can see it
It's in your eyes
You wanted the stylish girly girl
Not the haphazard tomboy you got
I can see it in your eyes
When I ask you how I look
When you see me shopping
You only care about my image
Not the person under it
I'm not what I wear
I'm not how I look
You should love me for me
Not for how I look
Image
Image
Image
That's all you ever cared about

I'm stressed
Like really stressed
More than I'm used to
I'm blocked
Blocked by stress
I'm not sure if this will help
Or any good
But I feel I need it
Need to say it
Rather write it
So I'm stressed
I can't see the beauty
That I used to
I'm stressed
And It's blocking my inspiration
I'm stressed
I'm blocked
Lucky me
I have stress blockage

Heavy are the sins laid upon us by those who brought us into this world
We pay for the sins of our parents
With our hardships
They do not always mean to burden us
But the burden is there none the less
Because world sees us by our parents first
We pay for their past
With our future
We work to better ourselves
We work to give them a better life
Then the world would let them give us
We pay for their mistakes
With our suffering
We suffer through the hard work
To make a a difference not only for ourselves
But for our children
We pay for their lapses in judgment
With our foresight
Better ourselves where they could not
We try to lighten the burden
Before we inevitably past it to our children

We all have something
Something that hurts
That causes a void
Makes us shudder
Something that's sore
That's touchy
What we want to hide
There's a part in us all
That doesn't want to be known
Heard of
Touched upon
Spoke of
No matter how small
It's there
That click
That sets us off
Either into sadness
Madness
Or some extreme emotion
But that's normal
We are perfect
Yet imperfect
We are beautiful
For our ugliness
What I mean to say is
Nobody here is perfectly fine
But that's what makes us
Perfectly us

There's the one who back stabbed
To get who she wanted
There's the one who annexed herself
For a boy
There's the one who settled
Because she was lonely
There's the one who stayed alone
Because the right one hasn't found her
...
Or is it she's too picky?
...
Or she's undesirable?
...
To be honest I don't really know
I mean she won't back stab, be annexed or settle
She doesn't have the heart
Or lack there of
The rest seem happy with who they're with
No matter the way they got them
She seems happy will being alone
But sad only in the face of their happiness
She remains unsure
Mirror mirror on the wall
Who's the worst of them all?
The one who back stabbed
The one who was annexed
The one who settled
The one who is unsure

This is *******
Plain and simple
It's like some weird divorce
It's not my ******* problem
But they've made it mine
Like me explain
Mommy dearest
And
Dearest Brother
Have had a falling out
Dearest Brother is getting married
And doesn't invite Mommy dearest
Because he wants to hurt her
Which he does
Now little old me
Little Daughter
And
Baby sister
Is left with an invitation
And a decision
Go
And hurt Mommy dearest
Don't go
And insult dearest Brother
That's the short ******* version
And frankly the cleanest
This is *******
Plain and simple
This isn't my ****
But I'm knee deep in it
They're using me like
I'm the child of their divorce
To be used to hurt one another
It's not ******* fair
Even if they think it is
They're playing ******* favorites!
I'm not a pawn
I'm not some"thing" to be used
I'm just a daughter and a sister
Not a ******* dagger with feelings
Because what they don't realize
Is just that
I have feelings
This is *******
Plain and simple
I'm not the rope
In some twisted game
Of tug a war
I'm a teen
With feelings
And a heart that can't choose
This is *******
Plain and simple

1
We're done
2
We're through
3
Just let it be
4
I can't take anymore
5
I'd rather you dead than alive
6
I'm sick of your nicks and picks
7
Without you I'd be in heaven
8
You're not one I can tolerate
9
Without you I'm feeling fine
10
You get the picture then?

You have to let your mind go
To let your feelings flow
You have to let your feelings feel the breeze
To let your mind feel at ease
You have to stop anchoring to the past
Or your present and future won't last
You have to let it be
And remember how to be free
Sometimes you have to let it all crumble
Before you end up taking a bigger tumble
You have to let it all flow through
Only take what means something to you
You have to let it all go
Sit back and ride the flow

Two hearts beating as one
With this nothing can't be done
Two minds thinking together
Flying in tandem like birds of a feather
Two people who have made a decision
That they will stay together not causing division
Two hands with intertwined fingers
Communicating a feeling that lingers
Two smiles that shine brightly
When their eyes meet slightly
Two lives changed by attraction
Showing the power of human interaction

Why do I love you?
Why do I pine?
Even with knowing
You'll never be mine
You are the yang
To my yin
You are the chills
That run on my skin
Your heart is the treasure
I might never obtain
The fact of the matter
Is I'm going insane
I want you
But I don't
I want to tell you
But I won't
I can't help getting lost
In your eyes
Nor can I help
These lustful sighs
I know my daydreams
Will never come true
But I can't help
Loving you

I shrived to stay uninformed
I took care to be left out of the loop
I purposely turned a deaf ear
But you had to go and drag me in
You just have to give me that face
Then you even cried
I love you to bits a pieces
But I hate that you've done this to me
You've put me in the middle
Of somewhere I don't belong
You've told me things
That didn't want to know
You've pushed your burden onto me
Without consideration of my feelings
I get that you were upset
But why did it have to be me?
I liked my ignorance
I savored my bliss
I've kept it for **** near 18 years
And you took it away in a matter of minutes
You stole my ignorance in an emotional flurry
as soon as this blows over
I'll have my ignorance
As well as bliss
Back
I'll once again be uninformed
Out of the loop
And have deaf ear
Please don't stir up more drama
Or at the very least don't drag me it
With those big eyes
That say "Please? I need you."
Like I said
I love you to bits and pieces
But I really do like my ignorance
And savor my bliss

Air Head
Sittiing across the room
Air head
No idea what's going on
Air head
Watching time go by
Air Head
Not knowing what's going
Air head
Talking without anything to say
Air head Killing my patience
Air head
I'm done with you
Air head
Get help
Air head
Please just go away

Undefined
Such a funny word
It means without definition
But by saying something is undefined
You have therefore given it a definition
It takes on the persona of the word it was given
Undefined then becomes the word's new definition
Making the word a contradiction in and of itself
But that's just how I see things
Not that you have to
I'm just saying
Ya'know?

English class
Section 89
Crazy and loud
But that suits us fine
We're all different
Learning side but side
We didn't really choose this
But we're along for the ride
Some are quite
Some are loud
I'm in this class
And I am proud
This is the last English class
I'll have in this school
Although it was a little weird
I thought it was cool
English class
Section 89
To my teacher and classmates
The pleasure was mine

I'm running
Why am I running?
Why does it hurt?
Why are my feet cold?
I look at my feet
I'm barefoot
Why am I barefoot?
Okay
Give me a sec
I'll remember
Oh!
I'm running
Running to you
I'm barefoot
Barefoot because I'm scared
Scared you'll get away
Leave and get lost
Why did you leave?
Wait no
You didn't leave
I slow down
You didn't run away
I stop
You're still here
I wake up
Oh thank god
It was just a dream
You're still asleep
Next to me where I left you
I'm not running
I am barefoot
But not running
I thank god one last time
Take a glance at your sleeping face
Kiss your nose
Nighty night, Bruno
My cute watch dog

You're scaring me
I don't know who you are
Or should I say who you're becoming
You're not still the kind man I knew
The forgiving man
The genital man
The caring man
You've somehow changed without notice
You've become a mean man
A vengeful man
A tough man
A uncaring man
I'm frightened by you
You keep yelling
Flying off the handle
Pushing everyone away
Saying hurtful things
You never used to be like this
This was never who you were
I'm scared of you
How do I get you back?
How can I make you who you were?
Will you always stay this way?
Will I ever have back the man I knew?

You did it
Congratulations
You stabbed what was left of my heart
You stuck in the last blade I could take
You said I was being like her
Like her!!
I'm not her!
I never want to be her
Act like her
Sound like her
Look like her
I don't want to be anything like her!
But you said I was
You know how that hurts
And you said it anyway
That must mean you meant it
right?
You are my father
Right?
You would tell me the truth
Right!?
You would tell me if I was becoming her
RIGHT!?
So tell me daddy
Am I really like her?
Dear old mommy?
Am I hateful, like her?
Am I smothering, like her?
Am I cut throat, like her?
Am I hurtful, like her?
Tell me daddy
Am I like her!?
You were my last person
My last ******* person!
Last person who didn't hurt me
I said one wrong thing
And now I'm like her?
Well ******* too then!
Stay the **** out of my life
I can't believe you would say that!
You know how much it hurts
But you said that **** anyway
You were the last person I could turn to
The last person I ******* trusted!
Everybody cheer!!
Clap!
Come on clap!
Give the man a ******* award!!
He's finally killed my humanity

My rock has finally crumbled
I have nothing left to hold
Sad part about the whole thing
Is I was the one who shattered my rock
I broke it to ******* peices
It wasn't on purpose
I swear
It wasn't
But it happened
And it was my ******* fault
I guess it's just me
I'm just ****
I ruin everything I touch
Somebody put me out of their misery
Because I'm too much of a ******* coward
Everyone would be so much happier
If I was born someone else
Or not born at all!!
I can't stand living like this
I hurts me too much
I'm sure it hurts them more
Somebody put me out of their misery
So at least they won't think it was their fault
I mean it's not
It's mine
But you know how parents are

The end
Two very sad words
They mark the conclusion
The conclusion of books
Of movies
Of shows
Of friendships
Of relationships
Of anything
The end
Two very distinct words
They mark new beginnings
Beginnings of new books
New movies
New shows
New friendships
New relationships
New anything
The end
Two words
The end

Princes save princesses
Knights save damsels
That's the way
In fairytales
I'm not a princess
Nor a damsel
This isn't a fairytale
But I do need saving
Saving from my harsh reality
My brawling parents
My mess I call live
The thing is
The only one who can save me
Is me
No prince
Nor knight
Just me
I'm my prince
And my knight
Others can't do my saving
Not that I would let them
I wouldn't mind a hand
Or someone looking out
But I can
And will
Do my own saving

Ahh to be young
To think love has opened its lithe arms
When it has only given a blithe smile
We think love as something to obtain
Not as the ethereal feeling its known to be
Ahh to be young
To have that puppy love
That feeling that love is our life
Having our world be controlled by our hearts
Feeling like nothing could go wrong
Ahh to be young
To think we have dove deep into that which we call love
When we have yet to truly even get our feet wet
To have but a taste of what we believe to be real love
Yet only to have had touched upon the superficial young love

Feel the music
Let it flow through you
Sway your hips
Bob your head
Tap your foot
Rock your body
Feel the music
Let it make you laugh
Cry
Think
Smile
Dream
Don't just hear it
Really listen to it
Experience it
Feel it

Clean slate
Clean slate
What I wouldn't give
For a clean slate
My past is who I was
Not who I am
Why I judged off my past?
Why am I judged at all?
Well if I'm gonna be judged
Then at least judge me
On the me I am now
Clean slate
Doesn't it sound nice
Clean slate
Clean slate
Will you judge me off my past
Or grant me my clean slate?

I have a mother
That I can't stand
And probably can't stand me
I have a father
Who gives me what I want
But not what I need
I have a brother
Who exiled himself
And won't talk to me
I have another brother
Who hears what I say
But doesn't want to listen
I have friends
Who are always around
But never really there
With all these things
How can I not be spoiled?