write.
dictate
talk
speak
state
hard headed
I am too
currently
******
but close to the ending
what do I do?

we pretend
cause it feels okay
and that is okay
furthermore
way up in the blues
i always remember the moonlight
that night
sunset
heart spells
shorty

Maybe I am trying to take you  home
I never knew the motion
baby let me be your notion
however you want
however you like
however you need
let me give you fresh air to breathe
I don't want to keep in on the low
I want to be seen
I want to be felt
I refuse to be startled by deep feelings
I refuse to be pushed aside
naked poetry
naked words
I need you to not only see these scars
I need you to understand every dent
who did you wrong?
probably myself
along with
a broken heart.

where do i write
where do i sigh
baby
switching me up
dripping
show some love
show me some heart
poetry
the way you love on me
the way you come for me
please
don't ever let it
fade.

3:01 am
in my thoughts
in my words
poetry
releasing serious energy
can I have you
I want to have you
need you
poetry
on the late night

Clearly
dump truck
bumping
i practice what i feel
clearly you have me here
taking it all out
i mean it when i said it
1:26 am
mean it when i say it
i used to walk around
fools
breaking all the rules
living best of both worlds
baby i am ready
to rock your world

Unbiased
But im crowned
Famed
But i wish to be celebrated
My life is always tumbling
But I'm pleased by
How well I come out of the struggle
Lifeless, but breathing
Thankful
A couple of words here and there
I've vanished to another dimension
Anxiety

why does poetry
come to me after midnight
come and take me
poems
stepping stones
how can i
how can i be yours
you're my thrill
what do i want
i want to twirl to Billie holiday every morning
math my energy
dreaming of you
nothing seems to matter
here is my heart
on a silver platter

Have we ever been feeling low
Commenting on slow words
Reciprocating the wrong turn
Have you ever
Been mistreated
Are you heated?
or wanting to believe
wanting to see
wanting to hear
feeling like I frankly care
feeling like I am barely there
so deep
so deep you lost your thought
I have taught you know enough
To know that I am enough

Nothing even matters

times
you looked at me
with so much desire
i hope you mean it
i hope you mean it
when you make love to me
I am not just another woman
i am the woman
please recognize my worth
before i have to remind myself

power
Tequila numbed out the pain
what you get
is what you see
vulnerable
I took the time
and it was  worth it
baby I'm worth it
poetry
can I teach you what I believe in
secrets
opening up to you was a given

I was confused at the way I have been handling things. Ironically I thought I would stick around to find out what love truly was. I never felt loved in my past life, and here it is, this man patiently waiting for me to love him back. How ironic was it that the man I’ve been praying for came around and found me.  Am I allowed to prance around this concept that I found someone who tries to find ways to make me happy. Isn’t that love after all, to find those able to mend your bones into one. The love that helps you become better and find yourself.  I still debate that the love you are raised by is the love you go by. My parents and I still battle around the fact that I never felt their love with them coming up, my mother thinks I should seek help, and that its all in my head. But how is it that I never felt their love elude within me. I have searched, sacrificed, and underestimated my life due to the fact that I never felt I was good enough for them. Which later in life exults all these insecurities that I still have yet to understand how to control. I follow I pretty thin protocol, transparent really, you get what you see, and what you see you get, yet the only people I find trouble being my unpoligcally self around, that would be my parents. It’s like walking on eggshells when I am around them. I will never underestimate the level of obedience and manners I have been taught growing up, that’s a magical skill that as I’m still learning is hard to obtain. I try not to let those who don’t know how to behave, don’t even abide by the concepts of loyalty, its sad that sometimes people come around you as a warning to watch the company that surrounds you. The saddest times are when you realize that the person you ride for doesn’t ride for you the same. Sure we will forever realize that no ones carry the same heart, as you, and the way you put your heart out, no one does it like you. But where are those who are like me?  Cause lately I have been feeling so insecure about the way people have been disrespecting me, why the **** do people need to hate on you?

you sure have been misleading this trust
my house
my tears
my fears
what I do is none of your concern
I am sure she will never be able to excite you like I did
but honestly
that's not my concern
a door closed
but a million just opened
lucky
blessed
I haven't felt this light
I haven't felt this love
I haven't felt like myself
in a while
brb.
taking this time to myself.

For you darling
Please be a good man
And give her a love story
Reaching out for glory
But I will never plead for attention
Some of you are still trying to figure me out
Maybe sometimes mysterious
But if you don’t float in the same principles
Then you will either drown, or forget who you are.
Taking it slow has always been my style
I’ve been told many secrets
That’s why I never say much
Observing has been my function
And I’m officially here to listen.
This is not a poem for the whole world
Just those willing to understand my vision.

keeping busy
I used to love the wrong one
I started becoming the wrong one
I lost myself but I gained a lesson
everyday I woke up to the darkness of my heart
I never knew how much you took from me
I was naked
I was broken
it was not your turn to fix me
it was not your job to heal me
all you had to do was love me
love every single bit of darkness in me
but
you
couldn't
handle
me.

We can do this all night long
subliminal messages to tell you that I am wrong
but you just were far too gone
your mental health is chaotic and you forget to admit it
it was never my fault we failed
you were never ready for things to work out
one sided arguments
one sided accusations
one sided love
did you think I was going to stay long?
did you think I was going to continue this way?
the truth was
the truth is
your love just masked the *******
how many wrongs can I write
how many wrongs can I love.

Effortless as I sat down being amused by your chaos
It was not what you did to me, but it was what you didn’t do for me
Fully sexually fulfilled, I was always starving
You kept me full, never feeling dull
And now, as I glance upon your chaos
Your beautiful heartache chaos
I had now realized what being aroused was
Sexually, mentally , physically, emotionally
I was so quick to demand more
It was improbable.

have we managed
to write poems
about heartbreak
can we handle
all of it and above
I wanted to
I needed to
I had to
superstar
beyond things
beyond words
there I am
there I go
would you notice me
I dedicate this to my superstar
number one fan
I needed it
I wanted it

Back again
Speaking everything into existence
Looking for trophy’s
But will settle for real glory
If you see me
Know that I am too fighting a hard battle
Vice versa
They will never know you like me
Switching lanes
Winning games
Misbehaving politely
If you’re a true friend
Please stand up
People like you are rare
Vice versa

Facts over feelings
Either you love the broken heart or,
leave it as such
but,
Don't break it more.
I am clarity and confusion
never enough and always too  much
too often you sink me in words dripping with tequila
keep speaking your beautiful truth
I tell myself
I fall in love with details too often
Trying to find ways to make myself happy
that don't start with you and don't end with you.
here we are smothering each other in I love yous
however
when was the last time I felt you place a kiss on my forehead
and mean it?

what we do
is not ordinary
what we do
is magic
I am far from perfect
where would I be without my baby.

tears are dry
I wish I could allow misery to hang around
I have come to being oblivious to anything that doesn't involve
love
within my soul
aches a romance
that pour into my character
you have
accepted every naked side of me
there is a beauty in the breakdown
have you ever been loved from the inside out?
you will never move the same ever again.

This is all beyond you
Candles lit after midnight
I always seem to forget the parts
No one ever notices
Limited edition
My poems are bruised
My heart is always in battle
My mind tends to always lead
Poetry
Red wine
Jazz tones within me
Chapter 78
I often think that the night is more alive
I know I have friends
But I feel like I have no one to talk to about
The **** that goes on in my head

searching for you
I'm dedicating poetry
that's all I can offer
but I promise you
you will never need anything else
but me
and you deserve me baby
you want me baby
you need me baby
a good man has blessed me
with his love
and I hope
my emotions don't evoke
but my heart is processing this love
I got you forever
promise.
2017

1:17 AM
I forgot about the time
scrambled pages
messy places
petty faces
still love
always love
merlot
a couple of glasses of merlot
detachment on the early
dreary eyes
but I'm still hungry
I am sorry I lost control when I was with you...
I lost my soul when I was with you
I forgot who I was when I was with you
why didn't you let me go sooner ?

Change the world
Start somewhere
Or start new
Not sure where I’m going
But I am on my way
Selected poems only
De-javu
You and me
Can you see the compassion in my eyes?
Would you ever redeem the lost lover?
To comprehend the present
The shivering touches of her words
Love is like water or the air
I hope you choose mine
Over and over and over again

mistakes
mishaps
brand new
up and coming love
up and coming fighter
my dreams are brighter
nightmares filled with color
how did you get so far
however
I adore loving from afar
jazz tones
jazz tongues
kissing away the knots
that ruin your luck
let me shower your vibe
you should always have me in your tribe
even though I prefer by your side.

women
are like onions
the deeper you get
the sweeter she gets
but you have to know
as a woman
how sweet your core is
to protect it
cause every men
want the tootsie pop
you don't want to do the work
so please ****
real recognize real.

You can half *** many things in life
&
Justify to self why it's acceptable
but the love you give
&
The love you receive should never be one of those things.

You thought  you started new, but I took a toll on all that’s new
I needed to refresh the page to my story
To many hiding secrets are catching up to my glory
Overused love has lost its power, honored to be in your hour
I made sense when I was lost
I came across to all that was tossed
Wasted feelings are for restless beings
I needed to be up on all my dreams
Awakened by  my senses and surprised by my tensions.
It’s been an unpleasant ride, but I roared through chaos like a vulture.
I was hungry for adventure and keen to endure it.
I salute my chaos it never seemed to bore me.

you're the major friend factor in my life
I'm sorry I didn't pull you out of your misery
I still held on
I know you're regretting the silence between us
I wish things turned out differently for you
I wish you didn't keep circling around
  ...........the same fools who often play you
but be still young one
mistakes don't make people
you make yourself
and you needed to step away from the feigns
you couldn't lean on
I know
you were always my lil shortie
and honestly
I'm glad you're in there and not dead.

Anxiety pacing
Sine when did I live in fear of being myself
You know what kind of person you were designed to be
How is the person id like to be
Act ?
And do that right?

My soul said to just keep writing
Words dripping down my spine
Occupied in the light
Be still my soul
Players only love you when they're playing
Sitcoms of my love story
I haven't been around much
But
Love at first sight
On & on
You say
That i'm crazy
Trying to
Write love letters to myself
Everyday

Let's stay inside
I am sorry to break it to you
but you haven't really been on my mind
I just started regaining my worth
self love
baby
self hope
imagine a world where I stopped loving myself
picture perfect
you never even fit my image
startled
but I wept
rendezvous
you were the reasons I hurt inside
I am so happy to have escaped heartache in one piece
I don't want you, and I don't need you.

good luck.

Refection on nothing
But anxiety
Apparently, lately
having a mental illness is a thing
much more than i wanted
much more than i needed
However
Ive misplaced every downfall with you
I lately observe more than i need to know
Please stop asking questions
If you don't want the right answers
Virgo.

sweet bliss
sweet memories
sweet tricks
you have my tongue
riding with you
pure bliss
kiss me again
I cant get enough
I'm full
but I'm still hungry for your love
thank you
for always looking at me and saying
I appreciate you shorty
vice versa my love
I am falling in love with you
please catch me

you will always taste me on your tongue
that's a bitter tone
not sorry
more like
you are welcome
have you ever been held by a poet
memories
lately
I know I still stumble on your mind
twirling
with fools who forget to wash their hands before they touch me
lovesong
I make my money the best way I know how
I'm not a chase
I'm the finish line
please be good to me.

YOUR FEELINGS ARE VALID!!
- Even if you are not the one suffering the most in the situation
- Even when other people also have valid needs or concerns
- Needs and needing to be heard are not exclusive to one person at a time. All needs and voices are - equally - important (including yours)
- For your brain health/development your voice needs (and deserves) to be heard.
- If you ignore/hide your needs and/or feelings even for the sake of others it does not end up “just fine.” In fact, these hurts/unmet needs stay and you WILL have to deal with them someday. And if you don’t, you will eventually get scarred or crashing because your brain and heart need health and healing too!
So, don’t keep silent. It is still “nice” to allow your own existing and needs.

inspiration
I belong to nobody
writing stars
writing skies

thanking god

e v e r y d a y

BROKEN CLOCKS