i don’t love everyone i meet
but i do love all the food i eat

- a.g.

i know we haven’t talked
i know it’s been a while
i know that it’s kinda my fault
but i still miss you
i miss your fast talking and crazy stories
i miss your dyed hair and red arms
i really, really miss you
i miss our hangouts before class
i miss our planned birthday parties
i miss our ranting about how mean our friends were
i really, really, really miss you
i miss your old car with the cupcake sticker
i miss your loft bed and starbursts from math class
but most of all
i miss us

- a.g.

too much feeling
too much hiding
way too many fake smiles
invisible to the naked eye.
go ahead and shatter my skull
break my bones
i'll lend you the hammer.
because, darling
this is nothing compared to the hurricane of contradictions in my head.
i have a war zone that's burning itself alive.
so break me down
with your words and sharp tongue
maybe i'll build myself back up
if i'm feeling bored.
because no matter if i'm still broken
or i'm restoring my fractured pieces
the outside,
will always remain the same.
unpierced
and untouched
still smiling through the pain.

- a.g.

A secret smile
A shared glance
Or eye contact that lasted a second too long
You yearn to reach out
Say something
Anything
Then it’s over
                        They’re gone

This happens everytime
Everytime,
Those perfect strangers who catch your eye
Who make you long to know more
But it always ends the same
Those perfect strangers
Who had so much potential
But nothing happened

today,
i am finally giving up the lie i hide behind.
an intricate labyrinth of webs spun by my fast fingers and rapid mouth.
i,
am a hypocrite.

my life is a series of encouraging the ones i love to the best of my ability.
doing the most i can to boost their morality,
showing them their self worth,
proving to them that they,
are amazing.
and that they,
will be okay.
but who can preach about all of these things,
when they themselves are a liar.
when they themselves can't even stand to look in the mirror
because of the disappointment they know they'll find.
when they themselves are telling other people that they are extraordinary, reminding them how much you love them,
when you don't even love yourself.
you don't even like yourself.
and the only thing keeping you down on the ground
is because you would never want to hurt the ones you love.

it's easier to tell other people all these wonderful things that you see in them
but have never seen within you.

- a.g.

time is a funny thing.
i've convinced myself that the life i'm living right now,
will barely matter in the next 10 years.
every small setback i ever face,
is merely a small blip in this universe of my worries.

there is a quote that i once heard half a million lifetimes ago that i think about almost every day.
it says, "every time you think what you're facing will be the end of the world, stop and think to yourself for a moment, in five years, will this matter?"
and i would like to say that i live by this quote,
and i do,
but sometimes,
life will get to me.
sometimes a missing homework assignment will feel like the end of the world.
sometimes my audition feels like it will be the end of me.
sometimes the tiniest, or seemingly biggest, obstacles seem like an impossible block in my life.
i know that my hours spent doing homework and trying to keep up with my schedule will be nothing.
i know that everything will get better.
i know that i will be okay.

but i simply can't believe that right now.  

- a.g.