I see through that deathly daze of yours.
I see the opportunity,
The regret, the heartache, the gratefulness.

You told me that you weren't sure,
If you are happy you get another chance,
Or sorrow-filled because it isn't over.

Those words broke my heart.
So I left this whitewashed room,
Of demonic devices,
And went to my car.

I wasn't sure what I was doing,
So I sparked this cigarette,
Put it to my lips,
And let everything go.

I looked crazy, I could tell.
Punching my steering wheel,
Crying like you were in a meeting,
With the coroner.

I opened my glove box,
Saw my antidote,
And swallowed.

I dried my sorrows,
Picked up my hope,
Locked my insanity in my car,
And slapped this smile back upon my face.

I couldn't let you see me like this.
I couldn't let you see how upset I am,
Not with you, but with your decision.
You have enough on your mind.

I return back to Hope's deathbed,
Give her a smile to assure her I am fine,
And crawl into the bed next to her.

Back to reality, I sink.
Only to be stolen from sobriety.
It's easier this way.
I feel nothing.
I'm numb.

Numb as usual.
But this time, body matches soul.
And not another tear shall be shed,
For the worst is over...

And for us all,
Recovery commences.

I can feel your icy betrayal
the scars of your secrets
clear glass of your lies
the part of you that’s me
becomes the enemy within
and I grow better at suffering
than anything.

You have killed me
I lay crumpled upon the oil stained
Blacktop
My heart staggers
a slow crawl
Black blood spilling
thru broken teeth
And sticky sweet
exhale of betrayal.
Caught in the swell of your deceit
Cast upon the rocks
broken into flotsam
For the receding tide.
Fate has tricked me into temptation
And with this last gasp of
Cinnamon scent
I curse her.

I had thought I knew what pain was
What heartbreak felt like
When I had only been scratched
You took everything I gave
My body, my heart, my soul,
You made me believe everything you ever said
You let me trust you
You let me love you
You changed me
You cheated on me
You left me
Now I know what pain really is-
it rips through your body worse than love
leaving ugly, bitter holes where worms of confusion writhe
while betrayal, outrage, anger, depression
wrap your soul in a gloomy blanket
I hold the shattered pieces of my glass heart in my hands
vainly trying to stitch it back together with threads of hope,
slitting my palms with my tears

My innocence is gone
I am alone...but not broken.

I was thrown into the darkest place imaginable
when you betrayed me.
At first I was empty...
but you leaving has given me a second chance at the happiness i deserve.

I am alive again
and I am stronger than before.

I don't have to pretend anymore
or be afraid of what you think.
I am better off without you,
though it took long enough for me to realize it

The dawn of my life is here,
and I am happy again.....

I finally have a choice.

In a room,
Of people and colours,
Across the voices and whispers,
My eyes caught,
Just you,
And only you,
Smiling at me.

I want to know you
The way a meandering river peruses the Earth
As it twists endlessly toward the sea,
Touching everything it can,
Yet in no hurry to arrive.

Whisper to me just how you want to feel, the way
The ocean exposes all the secrets
Of the universe, one by one, with
Each crashing wave onto white sand.

Just speak to me how you like to laugh, like
The ebullient summer's downpours joke with kids
And parents alike as they puddle together with glee,
Splashing through eternity.

Call out to me how you desire love, just as a
Waterfall delves deep down into the pool, creating a rainbow,
continuing its unending journey, rushing sometimes, but often, simply enjoying the rhythm of its perpetual renewal, coming again as a comfortable river.