Took Donald less than a year to bring nuclear war to all our doorsteps.  Never mind ecological destruction!
Vlad is ****** clever, moved his pawn carefully and got what he wanted.

The USA is a joke now, the UK too busy with Brexit.  Merkle fighting to keep control.  The Middle East about to explode over Jerusalem.
Russia's Winter Olympic ban plays right into his hands.

Yes, Mr. Putin deserves to be applauded.
Chess pieces perfectly placed.
Yes Sir, you are a genius.
Your ultimate plan still a secret.

Can't help but admire your brilliance.

On my second large glass of wine.
Taken my benzodiazapines.
Verrrrry relaxed. Lol!

Nirvana in the background.
Feeling sorry for myself.
Change the music! Play some Gun's and Roses.

Yeah!! That's better
Kurt may have been brilliant but Axl still makes me smile.

These pills aren't The Doors type.
Thou Jim screaming about being a "back door"man is pretty stimulating.

Intoxication is a wonderful friend.
Hotel California probably awaits.

Might be fun thou, happier end than Tupac and Biggie, even if none of the others have Pac's abs, yummy.

Snoop is just a little too cool for this type of medication.

Gonna lay down and enjoy. Axl is crooning Patience.

Something I should learn I guess.

I like to think I'm constant.
I'm constantly unselfish (thanks mom)
I'm constantly stressed.
I'm constantly nonjudgmental,
yet, admittedly, I do judge those who judge.

Aren't I just perfect?
When I worked, people hated me for being good at it and expecting the same from them.

Humility? Not really my friend,
I don't boast, but I don't deny my abilities.
I don't deny my shortcomings either.

I was educated in a system that demanded your best.
Now I live in a country that puts emotional wellbeing before education and ability.
I constantly struggle with this.

This dilemma is my constant companion.
Perhaps even my constant friend/enemy.

I constantly love all my family.
I constantly give people the benefit of the doubt.
I constantly form opinions of strangers.
I constantly cage myself in a prison of aloofness.
I constantly pretend disinterest.

I'm constantly afraid of the world, yet I constantly want to explore it.

Yes, I'm constant.

Twist of conscience?
No, it isn't.
I've dug this hole.
Embracing my shortcomings.
Doing nothing to better them.

Self deprecation?
Possibly.
I know I can be better.
But wanting it is easier than doing it.

Oblivion?
Yes.
Lots of pills.
I love my pills.
My ready excuse for non-action.

Anyone see my suffering?

My doctor asks " How do u want to **** yourself? "
I laugh silently.
She thinks I'm lying.
"The internet is very helpful" I reply.
Coldly, factually I  narrate the correct way to cut your wrists, cut your jugular, hang yourself.
Unemotionally I discuss taking my 180 benzoates with a bottle of *****, and how this is pretty unreliable.

She turns white.
'Hard to do when you're Indian', I think quietly.
My inner laughter becomes a little hysterical as I'm asked if I "want" a psychiatrist.

My inner scientific self analyses the idiocy of asking a suicidal person if they "want" help.

Oh well, if I ever find the strength to do it, she'll know that I knew how