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Z Jan 2021
I rather be alone,
My heart hit rock bottom,
Now it's cold.
I feel young, strong, dumb, useless, numb.
I feel permanently damaged,
But temporarily healed.
No big deal I feel the solitude.
I love the solitude, I am the solitude,
Less likes, more views,
Less stay, more leave,
No need, no need.
Am weird I know,
My heart's big, it glows,
But my inner self is broken
It won't show,
Sometimes I just cry to let my tears flow and let the pain go.
But it won't,
It never will,
It only kills me slow,
Like brittle bones, tough stones hit,
Leaving tears that fall like snow.
I need love, I need loyalty,
But all I get is heart break and dishonesty.
Have me doubting myself,
My strength, my health,
Like am I enough,
Am I worth it,
Am I even important,
What am I even here for,
I love making others smile but apparently the better joy of some is when I cry.
I rather be alone.
Solitude,
The multitude of many moods.
Or maybe someday that perfect person will come,
She may leave like the rest,
But I don't think I care anymore,
I'm getting used to depression and distress.
Why do I feel alone yet amongst many, why is my eyes filled and my cup's empty,
Why are good people abuse
I don't know,
Can't say,
But hey this is my solitude.
Z Nov 2020
I am Heaven found but Hell bound with a broken heart and a dead hound. No light house, just dead sounds with dead bodies spread out like chewing gum. See saw, I saw to be fore seen, broken bones, blood spills like crack cups leaks coffee. See the moonlight, lies because the moon's dull like a rusty blade with three lines call it a three line.

Seven Seven no Six Six The devil's son did a flip kick, Dromos smiles and sits quick as Lilith falls back smudging her lipstick. God laughs saying "who would have thought this", that man down fall would be so bliss to Devil eyes such a Netflix.

But get this you see the moon right, with its great form and moonlight, but far away it's just a moon site with no friends but stars you get the mood right. Some lonely ****, some deep holy pit, such as the hole we dig same as the hole we slipped.

The Devil's moon shines on man's night like a God eye that never cease sight, that never blinks or move or even sleep tight but red glows in the midnight. I am a mɪskrɪəntz just like you are, no where near and no where far, but it's more stuck on me burning like hot tar, I would spare your life but I want to leave a scar.

I am Heaven found but Hell bound with a broken heart and a dead hound. No light house, just dead sounds with dead bodies spread out like chewing gum. See saw, I saw to be fore seen, broken bones, blood spills like crack cups leaks coffee. See the moonlight, lies because the moon's dull like a rusty blade with three lines call it a three line.
Z Feb 2020
Save her for me oh Lord,
And keep her only for me in one accord.
Please make her loving, funny and respectful,
Independent, loyal and projected,
Understanding, wise and objective.
Make her for me oh Lord and keep her safe,
Until I meet my true half, my heaven sent love and my lifetime mate.
Z Feb 2020
Like the race ain't for the swiftest nor the fight ain't for the fittest,
Not but those who can endure it will pass the white line.
Not in time but by time, to see the boasting and the fastest struggle to the finish line.
Dribbling like dog mouth slime, and sweating like sour juice from a squeezed lime.

They fumble and fall before our feet.
Tired and burnt out like tasty fried chicken meat.
One last time I look down and see their distasteful grin upon their face,
Because the fastest wins the short distance pace but the endured wins the entire race.
Z Feb 2020
Understand,
Why do you care? About that watch you never used and when it goes missing you get furious,
You get angry at everything and everyone in sight,
Misunderstanding the facts by day and the opinions by night.
You didn’t care about it but yet you fight, you roll you cry and sit uptight.
All you knew is that you had it and believed that it would never have to go,
But as time flies, you didn’t regret leaving that watch so alone, unused and not cared for,
So ungrateful, now it’s gone maybe to someone who may need it for sure.

Understand that ungratefulness is worse than witchcraft.
Why do you care? That makes me laugh, then makes me stop, then makes me cry.
Like no humble child can resist the temptation of a humble smile.
Remember that pet, oh yes so loving and small and so unkept.
Late at night it cries for food and you were tucked in and you well slept.
Below step, underscore the over applause of an owner who didn’t even care for it’s pet.
Now the vet says it’s dying, and there’s nothing you can do.
Poor pet everyone gathers saying but no it’s poor you, foolish you and ungrateful too.
Not once you ever cared when it was well, alive and full of joy,
No, to you it’s just a living toy,
To be used, abused and then no longer up to use,
And now it’s gone.

Ungrateful so why would you understand.
Why do you care? About your friends, your girlfriend or about your boyfriend,
You say you are ready and steady the relationship is founded,
And he is humble and never ever liked to be sounded.
She always had your back even when no one else would,
And he stood with you even when they said he never should.
Not that you care she fought for you in ways that would destroy her after all,
He went to hell. He came back with a smile and you cheated at the after call.
What’s your meaning, what’s your words has to do with meaning.
Because as clearly as it is you never meant what you said,
A heart broken, but you don’t care, or you don’t have to weep,
You believe that they’ll always be there for you so you push them below the sheet.
You opposed them, knowing clearly they were right,
And you make them feel like they’re weak because they didn’t want to fight.
Now he's gone with betterment in his mind, thinking to himself that, she was never to be mine.
Later she packs up and leaves without a word, why, why would she say a word, she must have said an entire book or two,
Just to you, and about how much she loves you and care for you,
But you don’t understand, you never cared but as soon as they go you feel so alone, so broken, so stupid and scared.

Understand,
Why did you care, if you ever cared?
About anything so great that you let go of, you’re so fake,
Oh no, was it a mistake, that you **** someone up knowing how fragile they were since from the first date.
You knew who you broke and you broke them with no remorse,
You took them off their path of goodness and threw them of course.
Now your mission is to make yourself look like the innocent one,
Like the roots need the water and the tree needs the sun.
But they don’t know you, yet they will in time,
So hope you’re grateful for the nothing you have won and the something you have dumped.
Mother once said ungratefulness is worst than witchcraft
Z Dec 2019
Are you dedicated, if yes well you believe in dedication,
Next to further wisdom, spiritual findings and contemplation.
Where you would have the ability to say you're an adult, yes a man or woman,
Say it with meaning and responsibility, because it was given.

As you experience more, your knowledge grows,
More stories to tell and many more children to know.
Don't take adulthood for granted because you can do as you please,
God is in control and he doesn't sleep, blink or sneeze.

The world is big and everyone wants to see it,
It's these times you thank God your in it.
What you worked for will benefit your children,
And income you earn will show in the money you spend.

Benevolence, give back, you have to understand it works both ways,
Always remember you're never here to stay.
So be generous and give without wanting a penny,
Yes life will be hard, and your burdens will be heavy.
Z Dec 2019
In life self discovery is very important to us,
We have to search ourselves and figure out who we can trust.
We are never alone, but we are most better without.
Understand yourself first, before you put someone else in doubt.

Entering the enterprises of life and all its adventurousness,
Being curious and brave, its when your life story has its twist.
Knowing what you can do and the limits you can pass,
By passing difficult obstacles and pushing to a life of higher class.

Then early adulthood kicks you in the back,
Hope you have what it takes to kick it back.
Because if you slip or fall and can't get back up,
Well then prepare for pain due to the fact you might be stuck.
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