i want to touch your skin like the sunlight touches your face
i want to take in your scent like a child smelling flowers
i want to see your presence like seeing my first sunset in a year
i just want you and i want to be happy

If you were to ask me
“where does beauty come from?”
i would say what you might not believe
“why, beauty comes from lips and fingertips,
what do you think?”

this is so harsh
no matter how hard i try i will never be
beautiful
i just want to be
beautiful
but no one sees
beauty
in a small girl like me
beauty
is something for someone who is
thicker
prettier
happier
not someone who
has no curves
short hair
and depression
beauty
can come out of what you do
but it’s not
beauty
if no one else pays attention
now is it?
beauty
can come from
lips and fingertips
but never someone who looks like me
never someone who’s
too tall
too skinny
too pale
too flat
too
too
too
little
never
enough
yes i want to be the one protruding
beauty
from my lips and
my fingertips
but the chances of that happening
are sickening
and the more i realize that
the lower the chance
because who wants someone like me anyway?
feel free to look for beauty
in someone else’s
lips and fingertips
because i know
both of mine are too thin

You say you feel bad
because you think
you cause all the sadness
when really
you place the concrete
so i don’t walk in the grass
there are just cracks sometimes
and you feel responsible
even though
it was my job to fix them

what do you do when you hate the only thing
that makes you happy?
the song plays on repeat
repeat
over and over again
but you’re finally tired of the song
you know the lyrics by heart
you know the next verse word for word
you’re sick of it saying the same things
over and over
but no other song will make you feel
the way this one does right now
you’re tired of it
but you’re stuck on repeat

chained to you
how could it be
when you were somehow
chained to me
i can not leave
i am stuck here
as i cry
a single tear
if i leave
you might just die
i threatened
and heard you cry
but for you to not
cause any pain
i must hurt
myself in vain
i’d rather me hurt
than hear you cry
i’d rather be killed
than see you died
so now i’m chained
where i can’t leave
wrist to wrist
in cold metal
hand in hand
once happily
i caused you to
make slits in your skin
remove the band-aids dear
i’m here for you now like i was then
i wasn’t going to forever leave
i was going to stay by your side
but even if i threaten minorly
the pain on your wrists will arise
so i’ll stay chained to you
so you won’t jump off that cliff
if my wrists are chained to yours
you can make no more slits

all the pain
comes pouring out
onto this page
tears on the ground
all over me
i’m soaked in salt
can’t even see
your words anymore
everything’s a blur
and you’re there all alone
soaked in your own
tears of pain
you write how you feel
and to you it’s real
to others it’s just another
page of lyrics
or poems
or even songs it seems
they try to add to it
add their own opinions
and feelings
make your pain no longer your own
but doesn’t everyone need to feel respected? doesn’t everyone new to have their own feelings?