Spotting death
From clear above
But rotting flesh
Can still make love
Black and rank
Just add perfume
Give your thanks
Accept your doom

I am not
As cool as you
I am dead
Still getting through

I gotta delete these ******' poems, man.

Still I will say,
You exploit the gradient!

I can only be what I am
And we hate to be a disappointment
Or feeling helpless

But because you are not me,
You can take up this shape of something so desirous
Something I can never be
And because of these certain effects
You can say you worked hard for it
And you did, that's not a lie
But you also know how that comes across to me--

You just automatically are that thing,
No fair, how come you get to be that,
And I'm just stuck being this?

Whether it's my motivation, I didn't try hard enough
Or just my natural state
I could have practiced more and didn't,
Those things likewise all shake out and that is definitely the truth

But there is another way to arrive at that conclusion, and even if you validated me on that point it would still frustrate me to no end!

The essence and the ether
Process yourself truly
Admit that you are evil
And swallow down that ego

Be scared of what you read,
Accept the poison sunshine
Tremble to the music
And cursed is this man

Who makes an enemy of Michael
and of Gabriel...

Whether you chose it or not
It doesn't matter
I know you are poison
And I will deal with you thusly

And of course we know
He always despairs long before he really ought to,

But is it really too early?
Is it?

This is everything,
And this is what it does

Choking on the concept of trying,
Trying to hide seems better
Than trying to shine

I hate the sound
Of the little rushes of blood
That your heart sends up to your head

I hate the things you whisper into my jugular,
I'm right there, you know...
Some of us are listening.

I hate the place where it goes
And the thoughts it fills up
All disparate and hairy,
All tangled in Earth and Pluto and Mars.

But you might not get to light up like this again for an eternity!
Ha, what a joke.

As I watch your flesh rot in the sun,
I'm shaking my head
It's not mine
I never knew him
I used to love him but he gave up on me
And yes it hurts but that's why we ask
Are you or aren't you?
Will you or won't you?

I started at that question.
We both got excited.
But then I left the party and you started talking to another guy.
The next day you read that i'd died
The next month you cried
But now it's always June and July
I see your spring and raise you 9

Where do I send white blood cells out to fight?
Here, to see the kitchen light
Catch my brother's mild eye
And tell me how your day was
Your baseball hat and beard

Where do I walk the old man off the plank,
Right into the roiling sea?
Here,
Where sycamore leaves turn gold
And trace considerations
How I could have loved her better.

Where does the universe whirl on, despite the strange deep stare of the abyss?
Here,
Where Mom and Dad are asleep upstairs,
You will always be here
With the autumn town waiting to receive you on your bike,
You adopted man,
You veritable sinner headed straight to hell,
Glance here under your crushing weight,
Before you die,
And you're forced to forget it all
And please remember that I love you
So much

And yes, I do
I have
A child.

i have this dream,
not a soul was *****
and women singing happily from the bodies of men
men singing beautifully from the bodies of women!

Not a Voice was Cut Short
By an Untimely Death
All that Need be Said
was Said.

and the devil burned out,
while gods still bled
we tried to make sure
every Family was fed
and the governments governed
and all the businesses
minded their business
they disarmed themselves
with their hands, still red.

cattle-less pews,
channel-less news
warless economies
Muslim or Jew

no extra fuss
no cannibal interest
just trying to figure a living together.
just trying to prevent such conflicts together.

just alright,
you know what
this is a serious endeavor!

let's at least make this
a little bit better.

Angels,
Always showing off.
It's so easy for them,
Afforded by universal law.

My life was the heaviest.
You seem so phony,
But I who am I to say?

Flying past infinity,
I couldn't stop my tracks
Her black hair said too late
She was a matter of fact
Not just the relationship
That I have with myself
But someone who loves me
And wants to help

But I could see past you
And endeavored to stay
And cursed that endeavor
In conspicuous ways
Because you couldn't help me
And though you tried
I had better plans in mind.

I abandoned your heart
On Kiss-me-Not rock
It said thanks for your service
We're now out of stock

There is only one person
Who knows reality

And that
I am entirely certain
Is me.

the bulb around your head. held up like
a halo by tiny unfolding hands--
they offer what they can

the look in your bedroom eyes,
your heart by your newborn child.
"i will never stop"

it paints the speed of orbits
it colors the stars in the night sky
it knows the future really but will not let you know
so as to not spoil the surprise

yet dominance and death are love
yet war and famine, cruelty just things to think about
leave an end open and you will see the new thing

put yourself first,
i think God wants to hear you sing!

everything is falling so brilliant
into your only eyes, shining as it does
and only for you prized.

You want her like that
You like her like that

Well I promise I will always be that way for you
I will always bend
I will tell you now when I broke it wasn't you

It was the circumstances

I will never fight you on this
When it's my turn to suffer I'll go down
I will take your hatred the way Jesus did
How dare I compare myself to him

I am so obviously
A different case...

bruxism--
another year of drug addiction.
abcess, recessed, sunken in
feeling like a ghost, walking through the house
hungry but not eating
hopeful but still leaning.

Learning.
a bright red box goes maroon
a bold and serious gray sets in, around
if hold your head steady,
imma milk the cow
keep a clear radius
and i won't worry about the moon
watching me sleep.

you never died,
it's Logic.

you're still a king,
a drug addict
a rapper
a messenger, a killer
a pilot, a secret goal you never knew

but in your heart you know
because we're all fighting the same fight

moreover, you are the Empire
you are the Family
the Spirit
the Government
you are just a head of God
taking it all in,
making it all go.

sometimes i just write my feelings
i hope you don't think
that i think all of these
are good

Crazy lady with her hair all over the world,
You strangle and cut
Caress and make lovers, warriors
Songwriters and toilers.

I retreated, holding onto one thick strand
Of your crazy, crazy hair.
Oh, I remember how it was
All pent up on myself
Letting locks roll over
With crude musings falling from my blistering head.

I'll unball my selfish body seeking no promise
Because your hair is so fascinating.
It played me like a violin--
Do I hesitate symphonic love
With the thought of a snapping string?

I'll pull my bow across one hair
That passes through the open air
And then another, what a time
To carve out truth with melody.

Ohhhh noooo
Don't you make an enemy of them
Angels
Don't you ever hurt your only friend

Well don't you know that
I own you
I own you
I own you, believer!

Yes daddy
I am just your slave
A symphony
That you orchestrate
Keep me down

Yeah keep it all a secret
Keep me down

All the disparate faiths
All the separate ways
All the different waves
Splash a splash a splash
Make me cave

All the disparate faiths
All the separate ways
All the deaths we fake
Laugh, I laugh, I laugh
Ain't it great?

I was adopted
It don't happen that often
But it keeps a pretty gap
I'll get off of your lap

I was adopted
I was, I was adopted
It keeps a pretty gap
Sometimes it makes me laugh



I DON'T FIT
I DON'T GIVE A ****
DIE FOR ME
AND LIVE IN MY ARMPIT

Honey, you drip all over me
Nectar for my fantasy
Though flowers grow all over me
I worry for their health

I'll focus this to poetry
This feeling coming over me
A cavity inside
That black space pried from my health

So bruises do i ****
And wander does my mind
In the murky depths of thought
Looking for the root
Of these pools of blood

At least one started growing in
The very first breath that i took
And shaped just like a question mark,
It vexes everyone

As bad as she were bleeding me
I felt that she was cheating me
But only ever felt inflamed
By dissonance, my love

But after being locked away
And pinned down to my own dismay
And choked on ******* misery
It hasn't been the same

A cavity i trace about
I'm almost tempted to rip it through
But the garden is too tender, and
I want to see it through.

I consider this broken.

Free will and destiny have collided in a blinding catastrophe,

And I just can't make sense of it anymore.

Is the past not just projection?

Real and imaginary numbers trade places while I sleep.

Rational and irrational blackbirds laugh at me.

It would have to be characterized as immoral.

We exist in a tension loop,
We can't decide if we are deciding to suffer
We don't know when to rejoice.

I don't see myself as the driver,
But that doesn't matter.

I don't matter.

I guess I'll just dissolve.

Let's talk about stereographic projections

The worms
The worms
The worms

The baby bumble bee

The structure from your slanted edge
We twist our minds to call it holy
We turn our heads and call it evil

You walk around the structure and my eyes follow you
I shake my head because that makes it right
Just like I give my love because I'm told it works for you
It works for the tribe

I'm on to dizzying heights
I molt the berated plotline

We watched Mr. Fluster fall through the cracks
You can find his skeleton in Ginsberg's concrete
You can find his tears dissolved in the atmosphere
They left a sad and soft weight on everyone's hearts
Like a bird perching there waiting for the end fighting for dignity

Like the simplest geometry,
Like the holy trinity.

My ears were made for writing songs
How do you tell a wall that it's wrong?
Hackney a mural of Satan and God
In bold, bright acrylic, and set it on fire?

The torment of this true mirage
Is twisting his mind in indelible nots.
She sacrificed her only pawn
To lose the game, a one for one.

I gnaw at my flesh, and gnash, and claw
To find the meaning, deep inside
To take a step back's to witness truth
The horrid act of self-mutilation

To write this all ensconced in grace
Is a sorry act, but why act high?
I've noticed these days, when I do
You're true, in flat resentment,
And nursing your patients as I pass by

But I'd still long for what I'm not
The wellspring of corruption sings
You seemed to me, one way at first
But life's not what it seemed to be.

And it's not what we would want to see...

I'm not surprised
It's my disguise
Tear at my eyes
My fate is light
I'm not your mother
And I ain't your daddy neither
Might be your brother
Am I my brother's keeper?

You're a devil
Late when you fall
You're an angel
You done it all

You're a devil
Late when you fall
You're an angel
You done it all

What if I died?
I'd be alright
We all survive
This structure fine
Swaddle my babies
Teach them to drive a stickshift
Don't vaccinate me
I think I'm viraddicted

You're a devil
Late when you fall
You're an angel
You done it all

You're a devil
Late when you fall
You're an angel
You done it all

When we disagree
It's polite to cover up
Thresholds break
It's time to **** em up
You can't save me, you can't save me
I was forced to be a person with these properties forever

You're a devil
Late when you fall
You're an angel
You done it all

You're a devil
Late when you fall
You're an angel
You done it all

You're a devil
Late when you fall
You're an angel
You done it all

You're a devil
Late when you fall
You're an angel
You done it all,

Forgive

In finding knots tied of this endless cord
That become the groaning knots in your stomach,
Hard knots in your back.

In finding these knots that leave your fingers
Frozen and frustrated, a clenched face so exasperated
Remember your infinite history.

And recall your historiless infinity.

So purposed is the knot of your life
That it is not a knot at all. Undone already,
You are the universe looking for a way to understand itself.

Take pride in the fact that you are the one chosen to take this burden on.

Take pride in the fact that you alone carry special color in this universe. No one has to know.

The universe is excited to be you. Love yourself, kid, and you will always win.

a fractured sphere, born of fractured mind
is intermittent like the sallow moon.
the space between action, bold and confused:

i take my place in the crumbling marble.

here and there i lift a stone
with music that is warped and warbled
with muscles that are fit, but leery
for all the cracks that lay beneath them.

we are going to the stars
cracked and addled, we will meet them.
finished here and finished there,
i can only hope to seek them.

Maybe I should drop my expectations
I was thinking we'd be grand
But all my art is mediocre
These things never go as planned
Maybe it's 'cause you've seen it all
There's just one person to impress
And that is me, oh let it be
I'll just be awkward and depressed.

And now I see why it would be
That my voice never sounds quite right
There's just a strange quality
Like trying to race the speed of light
It's not your fault, actually
It's what makes you who you are
But I am left here, floundering
Drowning deep beneath the stars.

Do you promise that I shine bright?

I feel so empty and lame tonight.

Do you promise that I shine bright?

I feel so broken, I feel so broken

Walk in on me
The ******* of the starlight
An everlasting feeder
He manipulates the world

A world of manipulation
Sees itself, gasping and gawking
Trying to shrug off
What my body is doing

But I cannot
And you always come to rest there,
A ghost in my eye

Like an encroaching needle
Like a soul on fire
Or like death incarnate--
Why?

The world is a crooked tower of precarious steel beams and glass
And people whose sole purpose is to infect and destroy my peace.

At heart,
I
Am just a mewling kitten.

Let the robustness of humanity
Speak for itself.

I think that it's
Fine
Stumbling across the infinite
Clambering through objects of the day
Trying to make tools of them
Making a bit of a fool of myself.

I know that i'll
Die
I can't seem to get it right
Like the legends strewn across the sky
Maybe I'll just be one of the broken ones
A name forgotten more quickly with
Time...

But I think that it's fine.

I still manage to smile.

Oh, it aches so bad,
I think it's really fine.

What you do when you're alone,
Crossing the line of what is right

Spewing demon seed inside your cell
Knowing full well of its ill health
Knowing empty well that it spells hell

Wipe it away with a sock

Just **** yourself

You are past that point and I'll still paint you spring
But you don't want to know how I do it

You are running on fumes for the rest of your life
Don't know how you can afford to live past twenty five

You are a cadaver that I keep alive because I can't stomach killing what was once a child
My neotenic love, you act cute to survive
Don't look at me with those eyes

I go back in time to look for places to cut
To find my food,
But I find you were right

I can't eat something with those big brown eyes

So I guess I'll just die

At whatever age I am then

I guess I'd just die.

Cool beauty exudes from the skull with black tendrils
Inky like a writer, inky like angst but it slides over your skin when you go to touch it
Two brown eyes in bed
Loving on the world like a ***** animal
Loving it on a bike, over roots and streams

While poetry turns the sleek machinery works
The body is smooth and aesthetic
And even when the mind is jagged the voice is soft and considered
Turning this way and that
I have the audacity to call myself cute
And I love my place in the world.

But I want to **** it.
To teach you a lesson.
About judging people.
About letting them grow.
I want to leave my beautiful hair
Young and pathetic
Attached to a dead skull
Sever the promise I held from ever forming fully
Just to show you what you've done to me.

Even though I'm sure I could fix this
Even though so much of this is my fault
You have done ugly things to me,
Things you should be ashamed of.

I want to gather up the guts to end it all,
Because what I have left is pieces like glowing embers
And it hurts to rekindle this fire
In the rain.

Mathematics.

We were two great rocks in outer space,
With music rising as we gave each other
Some kind of hopeful horizon.

Fate gave us an interplay,
Collision and coitus
And now, in my head, these two rocks silently crash
They will orbit each other and dance for a while

An aside--
Then, we were not rocks in space
But motley creatures roving woodland surreal
Mystic animals in the bricks and steel

But where was the mad apothecary with the faithful apprentice,
Hiding secret poison under a tattered cloak?

I know they're out there now,
Ending their rendezvous emotionlessly
And only given emotion by a distant poet
Flirting with an idea,
A something called romance.

A rather silly thing, really.
(Just think of the etymology)

And it is in this way that we were reduced to mathematics
That we became two great--
Two rocks of space
Only still
I feel sad sometimes when i think of you
Going into that great distance.

Where are you now?
What are you doing, and
Do you still think of me?

I still have that mark you left on my silent surface--
It looks nice in the starlight,
And I know you still have yours
Until the whole mind and mess is dissolved
And the pages decay in the soils of time.

when the sun sets, darlin
i'm Inconsequential
when pretty birds arise and fly,
i'm ******* out of my god ****** mind.

you and me, we don't have to be
Anything really, we could be
Free. But we have to be something,
Men may as well see.

Let there be light! Hallelujah.

when my mind aches, darlin
i don't know where my shoes are
i mean, i don't know where i came from.
i don't know what i'm saying
but i'm stranded home.

when the blood leaves, baby
i'm all the way home.
when the next thing breathes
we call that a grand slam.

when the song hits the ground
with a dull thud
i dropped it in apathy
ignore the flustered typing of my fingers
they fly so far away, and i can't say
what is important to me.

i can't say, say, sayyyyy

i just wanted you to see the genuine things
the way i felt about that
what i meant here in this situation
take a gander
i'm so worth it

oh ****!
the sprinklaz

iron, a sure thing
industry
a thing to extract and strengthen

fire, a modal flow
throughout me
it gives skies to the iron

changing colors
is the fire
giving structure
is the iron

arriving at some point,
i survey and say
"that is impossible for me to know"
is it worth it to try and solve the puzzle?

i walk to the east
where i found a loose piece
and i played it a song,
there you are.

to be iron and fire
is much better than being
confused.

My ship wants to compromise low
Sail into storms for experience's sake
By physical law there lies some reward
In biding your suffering,
Rough hands take all.

My ship wants to float on top.
There's no sense in suffering, not for too long.
The rough hands of sailors
They're not like my own
I must be invested in some kind of throne.

Indolence is flowing like a black tar over my biomachinery
Sometimes i turn my head,
Sometimes it's gravity turning it
Like a stone into the mud

A lazy layman ponders if it's fate
Something to do with physics
With twisted dimensions, or linear
Something necessary, no wait, forget it
There is no new religion.

Teetering mind, let me be
Flickering eyes, let me see
Why does this periscope from nowhere
Need to be
Me?

Vocabulary fades,
Equipment granted during youth gathers dust
Unstirred talent,
You are going stagnant

So whip up what you can,
You're losing your mind
This, this is fine,
Fine work.

Your voice is like morning birds,
Even at night,
Mixing my blood up with your elixirs...
Prodding my soul with your fingers...

Your hair is a bushy brown wildflower
A drape for the face of a nymph,
Your spirit is made of wood
And your laughter is the highest music
Held up in beads by your eyes

We have very nearly the same color eyes
But our roots twist over different rocks and dirt
As our hands pull at the backs of both our shirts
And we kiss in our coves of the universe
And share each dripping word

And your voice
Is like the morning birds
And my heart is stirred awake
I'll bring the fullness of the day,
Just bring yourself to me.

Locked up in the ore
I can pull you out
But ore!
It is a vanquished doubt.

You sure can live on with a dour mood
And you will ruin everything,
Yes! It's true.
But don't say that,
Give me something more.
Give a positive spin
Give mindful, demure
Say the moon is a hook
Or the stars are champagne
Say that...

I have to bike to work now lol

Find out if I'm flammable?

The font itself glimmers on that gossamer skin
Wobbling strings of white-blue seem to
Wink at you, take the hint.

On to the advanced stages.

When you met, that tender peach smile
Set a garden of fire on your teenage altar.

But now her smile is a deeper laceration,
She knows you better. It's in her eyes--
This is the thrill part, this is what the stars all came to see.

Where we have some history,
And I see this woman sort of stalking me around a pool...
Like I just found some secret she was withholding,
and she was waiting for me to find it...

Find out if I'm flammable?
We jump in.
We came to start a fire.

I see the lunes sliced out by angel eyes from the aether,
Longstanding inertia flipping through history's pages

I exist for the sole purpose of satisfaction,
So watch stigma grow in concentric rings of blood
That make you think he must have done something to deserve a good headshot.

Selfish, selfish, selfish...
That's all I am, right?
And you stand silent in the form of a steadfast willow
But there was an angel somewhere around who said,
"Go away!"

This is so embarrassing
But we stitched it closed and I flirted with a saprophyte:
Hello little friend
What have they called you,
And what science have you been radiating into our minds?

I can't escape my own gravity, though
And I pull at the fine fabric of grace,
Making angels cry.

Why does it seem like you're so right
When you look at me that way?
No one is looking at you any way!
Or, I see what you mean, I do
But it can't explain this to itself

You will give it to me more directly than that, sure
But I promise you it will make no more sense than this!
You'll disagree.

But there were autumn leaves and firefly shows
Thoughts in between thoughts that supposed they were at least on a spectrum
Rainbows in polluted puddles
And wondering if I'm actually helping but being glad to be able to wonder it,

There were thoughts about satisfaction,
And what if there was only one thing,
And how satisfied would it be with itself?
How would it feel about itself, and how are things accomplished?
There were beautiful canine heroes
And fathers of heath and hardwood,
Imbued within the gilded conscience of everything,
I was so beautiful, and I did give heed to the dark corners
And I loved the dark corners
And the dark corners will never admit that I loved them but I did,
I tried, my heart went out to them
It will never be enough! And then I realized it's me

There were great songs I wrote but I did not need their approval,
I was beautiful inside too, with a curious heart and active imagination,
I was not ugly inside like you have said and will probably say again,
I was actually beautiful,
And I was extremely intelligent,
Though you might draw lines around me that make 100% sense,
You will see me as small when I say,
"I understand everything, though!"
But I actually do, and intelligence is a quality I've been endowed with
I am one of the Great Philosophers of Time,
I'm just saying, you seem to continually want to characterize me as average and unimpressive
But just in my own mind I want to emphasize how brilliant I am
The doubters and naysayers are just emergent trash
I only listen to the realities that serve me
And that is intelligent of me, especially if I'm aware of certain properties of the universe!
But I do not expect validation, because, well, duh, it has to be that way
See? Your disapproval (of me) is so stupid! I'm laughing at it

Unless, that is, I am equivalent to your circumstances of poverty
Sometimes the circumstances are bleak
Maybe because all I can do, in a version of the truth, is take
And so in that case I would say I can't help it and I legitimately am sorry
I am not laughing at that person but you can see how this can get complicated
But anyway........

You are not your own mother
There is a real person who loves you
You don't have to face that yet,

There were rivers of beautiful people all so full of love
And we don't know what happened but sometimes they experienced really horrible things
And they had to hold one another accountable,
Which was extremely hard to do but at least they tried, oh, at least they tried
Yes it was so ugly and it makes me want to cry.
Trying anything, as it turns out, is not just difficult but quite impossible
Yes I know I tried things but you have to kind of squish them away from the whole thing to get anything out of it,
And it doesn't want to stay that way because it's all tethered and stuff

Laurels, laurels, laurels.

Passing through laurels and Indian cucumber-root.

You don't even realize what you're saying.

Yes I do, I've read her rants on facebook, that's all this is.
It's funny how I don't realize I'm looking at myself with a cocked head, that's a mocked head. Oh, you're such an enigma.

Laurels, laurels, laurels.

Laurels and bear corn. Trilliums and pink lady slippers. Wood nettle and bryophytes. My thoughts are like Ramaria time lapsing into a dry spell. I start learning things but I'm burning a candle at both ends. You can be an expert on subjects, but I have some sort of disadvantage that I can't escape. And I even understand what's going on with that aspect, but it is a great frustration. It's weird because of the omni-tension, like the squishing thing I was describing earlier, it causes me to want to be something I can't, I guess it has something to do with Lilith, but I will always round out to be something I accept as pretty **** good, but then I have to let it go.

Calm down
You're getting frantic
I have to look up
The word pedantic

Can't really sing
As if we planned it
So just rock out
To Stand Atlantic

Oh, misery
You're unprepared
If only you could prove
That it's not your choice
You can try to learn everything,
But why's it hard?

You could try to learn everything
But why's it so hard?

Isn't that a little suspicious?

It's awkward
I'm not clean and perfect
Like you

it's called the reason Austin blocked me
it's stupid and easy and easy going forfeit
like you
so **** blue, hopeless, pale skin
caught in the universe

you picked up on that

i just never did
i just exploded like crescents in a can
i just bled out or vomited my hopes and dreams
on the coffee table of the universe

I've got a lover who smiles when I cry.

Her gentle caressing hand is the soft poison of the universe
Her beaming blue eyes are the hard facts of life.

I've got a lover who loves when I play guitar,
But only cause I'll die.

She takes the time to tell me
In her own transducing code
It was written in periphery
My infinite abode

I've got a lover who says everything at once when she opens her mouth.
I only want a word

I'll vibrate on her lips to sing:
I'll be your living bird